


Simon Hates Jace

by JesseyJamez_ShadowHunter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Football Player Jace, How Do I Tag, Hurt Simon Lewis, Loveable Jock, Loveable Nerd, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Musician Simon Lewis, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Siblings Can Be Assholes, Tutoring, bisexual awakening, jimon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23812054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesseyJamez_ShadowHunter/pseuds/JesseyJamez_ShadowHunter
Summary: Simon hates Jace. Like, really hates him.Life had been good, up until Jace came in like a wrecking ball and swept Clary off her feet.Their final year of high school was changed forever when the blonde, obnoxious, arrogant, gorgeous bastard bumped into Clary in the hallway. Her textbooks scattered on the ground until they both bent down to collect them into a pile. Her bright red hair falling in her face, covering her bashful grin. Jace said this was an accident but Simon has his suspicions.Simon saw the moment Clary made eye contact with those multi-coloured eyes. One amber brown, the other a marbled swirl of brown and cerulean, how could she not be drawn in? It was this moment Simon knew that his world would change.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 59
Kudos: 206





	1. Simon Hates Rebecca

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I am going to be completely upfront and honest with y'all right out the gate. This will be my first fanfic I have ever written. As such, I ask that you leave your feedback for me in the comments. Let me know what you like, what you didn't like, what might not have made sense, what made you laugh, point out things that might seem out of character. Please bring things like these to my attention so that I can get an idea of how well I am doing because otherwise I have nothing to go on. I greatly appreciate any feedback you might have because it will only help me improve. 
> 
> Now, as for the fiction, I went into this with the intention of writing a quick little Jimon one shot. This, is not what happened lol. I wanted to test the waters and see if I had anything to contribute to the wonderful world that is Jimon fan fiction. However, this fiction is getting away from me. 
> 
> I have not finished this fic yet, and thus, I don't entirely know where it will go and how it will get there. I have an idea of the tragectory but nothing set in stone yet. Thus, I would love any ideas you guys might have for this fic. Help me drive this fic into something potentially awesome! (And hopefully not a brick wall). 
> 
> I am aiming to have an update every week or so until this fic is completed. I am unsure as of yet how many chapters it will be, but I am aiming for 10 or less. Whether that happens or not, well we shall see. 
> 
> Thank you to each and everyone one of you who check out this fic. It means a lot to me that you are here, even just reading the summary because people don't get many chances in life, and you're giving me one right now by reading, so thank you!
> 
> So without further ado, I present to you, my first fic! Enjoy!

* * *

Simon hates Jace. Like, _really_ hates him. 

Life had been good, up until Jace came in like a wrecking ball and swept Clary off her feet. 

Their final year of high school was changed forever when the blonde, obnoxious, gorgeous bastard bumped into Clary in the hallway. Her textbooks scattered on the ground until they both bent down to collect them into a pile. Her bright red hair falling in her face, covering her bashful grin. Jace said this was an accident but Simon has his suspicions. 

Simon saw the moment Clary made eye contact with those multi-coloured eyes. One amber brown, the other a marbled swirl of brown and cerulean, how could she not be drawn in? It was this moment Simon knew that his world would change. 

* * *

  
  


Jace Herondale has been going to the same school as them for a few years. The Running Back for Alicante High’s football team, he is held on a pedestal of sorts, by both students and teachers alike. A popular guy often surrounded by teammates and his siblings. 

Popular, charismatic, mysterious, and unfairly beautiful. All words Simon has heard used to describe Jace, mostly from Clary (although he may have added the ‘unfairly’ himself). Simon can’t honestly say he disagrees. He has eyes after all. Even if he might need a little help by way of glasses. 

Jace _is_ beautiful. Golden blonde hair that reflects any light that hits it, making it shine and appear impossibly soft. It’s swept back and undercut in a hipster style that’s popular right now – most likely because of Jace himself. The resemblance to Pidgeotto is not lost on Simon. If he was held at gunpoint and forced to describe Jace’s face, he would say it’s an impossible mix of ‘classically handsome’, ‘rugged’ and ‘soft’. Unfair really. Sharp jawline, high and defined cheekbones. Skin that’s too weatherworn for his young age and slightly scarred, most likely from years of football. But also somehow seems as though it would be soft to the touch. Not that Simon has any intention to find out. 

Scan a little further down and the jealousy in Simon rises. Jace isn’t tall, but he isn’t exactly short either. _Average_ , probably the only time anyone has ever described him as just average. In fact Simon thinks he just might be a bit taller than him. Little victories. But Jace is _built_. Broad shoulders with toned arms attached. Biceps and forearms that are likely genetically significant are made even more defined and impressive by years of training and football matches. It makes a person like Clary swoon and stare, mouth agape. It just makes a person like Simon jealous. Makes him wonder what his torso might look like under his jerseys and t-shirts. Wait, no, again that’s Clary. Not, at all Simon. 

Basically, Jace is a catch. And Simon is just Simon. Messy hair, crooked glasses, graphic t-shirt with dirty converse, woefully clumsy – Simon. Clary’s best friend Simon. 

Being Clary’s best friend meant that he would spend a lot of his time following along with her every whim. Late nights curled up in a makeshift blanket-fort built around the television, bingeing Star Wars and eating popcorn with an alarming amount of butter. Attending a new art exhibit for some local artists that she had grown fond of. Even if Simon didn’t exactly get what he was supposed to make of the canvas in front of him covered in nothing but tiny dots. Being Clary’s best friend also meant being her confidant, swapping secrets they have sworn to take to their graves. Simon cherishes being her best friend, it’s something he takes very seriously, it’s something he likes to think he does very well, but it also comes with a risk. A risk he wasn’t aware of until it was too late, until it had already happened and there was nothing he could do to fight it. He fell in love. Simon Lewis is completely and hopelessly in love with Clary Fray. And that is a secret he will take to his grave. 

After that day in the hallway being Clary’s best friend meant having patience. The patience not to lose his cool and freak the fuck out on this infuriating intruder. You see, Jace is nice. Disgustingly so. He invites Simon along to spend dinners out with them. He asks if Simon would like a ticket to his upcoming football games. Clary will already be going after all. Jace is the first to stand and applaud as the last note that leaves Simon’s lips vertebrates around the room and he’s setting down the guitar. 

The inclusion, the thoughtfulness...it’s nice, too nice. 

Simon doesn’t want Jace to be nice because that makes it difficult to hate him. It makes him feel guilty for the feeling of jealousy boiling deep within his stomach when he catches them holding hands in the hallway. He just wants Jace to be an asshole, then it would be easier. Maybe then Clary wouldn’t be so caught up in him. Maybe then Clary would see Simon. Really see him, the way he sees her. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Yo, Fray!” Simon asks as he slumps down onto the bench seat of the cafeteria table they claimed for themselves 2 years ago. He unwraps a chicken caesar sandwich and splits half before handing it to Clary. 

She reaches out and accepts the proffered sandwich with a smile and a nod. “Are we still on for bingeing Teen Wolf on Saturday?” she asks.  
  
Simon smiles widely back at her, all teeth. “Of course! We need to finally get started on season 6. I know you’re scared to see what actually happens next but we have to face this fear head-on Fray!” Simon presses his lips in a tight line while shooting her a very serious glare. 

Clary stares back attempting to mimic Simon’s serious look but breaks down almost immediately into giggles. Simon cracks shortly after and smiles at her fondly. He likes this, likes being the reason for her smiles. He likes being the reason she laughs. 

They both take a bite of their sandwich before Clary continues, “Ok so my place, 5pm. Be there or be forgotten!” She warns attempting to be serious once again, only to fail miserably.  
  
“You couldn’t forget me. How do you expect to just forget about all this,” he gestures vaguely to himself. “No one could forget my dashing good looks, the award winning charm, the quick wit. How about the killer Mario Cart skills, or-or, how about those delicious fish tacos I make? Eh? Amiright or amiright?” Simon wiggles his eyebrows at her, clearly pleased with himself. 

“Or that time you wanted to show off while throwing the garbage bag into the dumpster, only to have the bag rip open above you when you wound up for the throw? You were covered in shit, literally. Smelled like it too” Clary tosses back at him. Simon’s face contorts into a look of utter betrayal.  
  
Letting out an over-exaggerated huff he replies, “You swore to never bring that up again. You swore Clary. You know what this means?” Simon looks at her pointedly. “It means you broke the pinky promise! And a pinky promise is never to be broken. You know the price for breaking a pinky promise?” 

Clary gasps and drops her partially eaten sandwich to the tabletop, “You wouldn’t! That was a joke, it’s not meant to be taken seriously. We made that up when we were 6!” She clutches her hands close to her body and away from Simon.  
  
“That’s right,” Simon grins evilly at her. “Break the pinky promise, and the pinky gets broken.” Simon drops his sandwich as well and dramatically begins an evil laugh. It starts low before quickly growing in volume as Simon slowly rises from his seat to stand hunching over her maniacally, hands out imitating claws. He finally stops when he looks up and sees half the cafeteria glaring awkwardly in his direction. 

Simon quickly sits back down and ducks his head as Clary cackles beside him. Tears forming at the corners of her eyes. 

Just then Jace walks up from behind them and goes to sit down on the other side of Clary. “Clary, this guy bugging you?” Jace asks sarcastically before he turns to look at Simon and grins. “Hey Simon. I thought I heard the Wicked Witch of The West cackling.” God his stupid smirk is enough to make Simon’s skin crawl. 

Simon groans and begins to wrap up his sandwich wastily. “I-I’ve gotta get back to my locker and switch textbooks. See you guys later,” he says hurriedly as he gets up to leave.  
  
“Simon-,” Clary calls out to him and he stops, back turned to her and Jace. “Class doesn’t start for another 15 minutes. Stay and finish eating with us. Please?”  
  
And how is Simon supposed to say no to her? He turns back around and looks at the both of them before sighing. Resigned, he sits back down and unwraps his half eaten sandwich. 

“Now,” Clary continues, “You two have to learn to get along,” she looks pointedly at Simon and then to Jace who shoots her back a look that says ‘I dunno what you’re talking about’. “You know, it’s really not fair that my best friend and my boyfriend hate each other. It’s like I’m always the one stuck in the middle of your guy's war. You don’t even give each other a chance! If you would just set aside whatever unfounded anger you have and actually _talk_ instead of bickering, you might just realize you have more in common than you think.” She huffs before shooting them both a stern look. 

Neither Jace nor Simon say anything. They just look down and finish their meal. 

_‘Patience’_ , Simon reminds himself. 

* * *

  
  
  


“Hey, Lewis!” A voice calls out from down the hallway. 

Simon’s shoulders tense up before he huffs out a deep sigh in mild irritation. He slams his locker door shut while looping his backpack over one shoulder before turning around. He is instantly brought face to face with the object of his annoyance. Jace is smirking at him with his cocky grin. His face is far closer to Simon’s own than we would ever like it to be. Close enough that Simon can smell his breath, pepperminty and vaguely sweet. A pleasant scent. Why Simon’s brain betrays him by thinking anything about Jace could ever be pleasant, he doesn’t care to know. 

“W-Whoa, back it up will ya?” Simon shoves Jace back slightly with a hand to his chest. It’s truly unfair how firm his chest is underneath his t-shirt. Simon makes a mental note of this. Why, he isn’t quite sure. 

“What, did I pop that personal bubble of yours?” Jace replies, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Simon huffs out another irritated breath and turns to walk away down the hall. 

  
  


“Hey, wait man!” Jace calls after him, grabbing Simon above the elbow to slow his pace. Jace falls into stride beside him. “So, you coming to my game tomorrow?”

Simon looks down at his feet as he continues on down the hall. “I thought Clary couldn’t make it to this game? Luke and Jocelyn are making her stay in for ‘a long overdue family dinner’”. 

“Yeah, she’s not coming to this one. That is why I need you there,” Jace bumps his shoulder against Simons. “Gotta have someone cheering me on from the sidelines!” he grins. 

Simon scoffs and looks up at Jace, daring to make eye contact despite his building annoyance at being around him. “Isn’t having half the school cheering you on enough?”

Jace’s smile widens, showing his teeth. “Well yeah, I mean, I am pretty great,” he teases. Simon shakes his head and starts walking faster. “But,” Jace quickens his pace to match Simon. “Half the school aren’t my friends, not like Clary, not like you”.

Simon stops so fast his shoes squeak on the polished wood flooring and an 8th grader almost runs into the back of him. Simon shoots Jace an incredulous look. “I-I gotta go,” Simon turns toward the exit before Jace reaches out for his arm again, this time to stop him. 

“Please,” Jace looks at Simon with a small shy smile. When does Jace get shy? “Listen, Clary says we need to put aside our differences. She’s right, it’s not fair to her that she gets stuck in the middle of whatever this-” he gestures between the two of the, “is.” Jace sighs and searches Simon’s eyes. “Please, just come. I’d really like it if you would be there.”

“Yeah, ok, maybe,” Simon looks up briefly and offers a small, tight lipped smile. “Listen, I really gotta go. I’ve got an English paper I have to work on tonight. I-I’ll talk to you later,” Simon turns and hurries out the door. If Jace wishes him farewell, he doesn’t hear it. 

* * *

  
  
  


Simon tosses his backpack vaguely towards his desk and flops down on his bed, shoes still on his feet. He lets out what feels like a millionth sigh of the day as he stares up at the ceiling. The day started out well enough. A typical day for a senior in highschool. Albeit a senior who is a bit low on the social totem pole. Classes went well, he spent time with Clary during break, hell, he didn’t even get called a nerd today. Today was a good day by all accounts. So why is he lying here feeling dejected? Why does he let Jace get under his skin so easily? And why does Jace want him to go to his football game? That’s more of a Clary thing. Sure, lately Simon has been going too, but it’s mostly because then he gets to spend more time with Clary. Without Jace barging into the conversation like the goddamn Kool-Aid man. 

A knock on his bedroom door, followed by his sister waltzing in breaks him out of his thoughts. “You know, it’s polite to knock and wait right? Instead of barging in like the goddamn Kool-Aid man,” Simon hurries exasperatedly. What is with people these days?

“Woof! And a good afternoon to you to King Nerd”. Well he almost got through a day without being called a nerd. Maybe tomorrow. “What’s got you all huffy? Let me guess, someone said ‘The Phantom Menace’ was their favorite Star Wars movie?”

Simon stares daggers at her before indignantly replying, “‘The Phantom Menace’ is no one’s favorite and you know it Rebecca! Why would you even- you know what never mind, doesn’t matter. That’s not it.”

“Ok,” she stares at Simon’s face as if she is searching for something. “Did you spill coffee on yourself in the cafeteria again?” 

Simon groans deeply and rolls over, face down in his pillow. “Get out!” he grumbles through the fabric. 

Rebecca’s face lights up as she exhales a held breath as if she figured out some decades old mystery. “I’ve got it!” she exclaims proudly, “You didn’t get the chance to jerk-off this morn-” 

“WHAT THE FUCK REBECCA!?” Simon bolts up in his bed to glare at her, his glasses askew on his face like a bad Adam Sandler comedy. “What is wrong with you? What did I do in a past life to be stuck with you as my sister? What kind of karma am I working off here?” 

She just smiles at him smugly as though she won a bet, “Ok, so that’s a yes-” Simon groans again and throws his pillow in her general direction, she doesn’t even have to dodge, Simon has never had very good aim. “It’s a Clary problem isn’t it?”

Simon blinks at her for a moment and then sighs. “Kind of, I guess, Clary adjacent really.” 

Rebecca narrows her eyes slightly at him. “What does that mean? ‘Clary adjacent’”

Simon gets up and adjusts his glasses back to normal before huffing over to her to shove her out of the room. “It means, I don’t know. Now can you stop being a freak and get out?”

“Yeah, ok,” Rebecca holds up her hands in surrender as she turns to leave through the doorway. “Mom wanted me to tell you dinner is ready in 20 minutes,” she turns around with a wicked grin on her face. “Should be just enough time for you to jerk-”

“OUT! NOW! Get out, get out, get the fuck out!” Simon pushes her forcefully the rest of the way out of the room before slamming the door shut and locking it. 

Simon sighs against the door and pinches the bridge of his nose. Tomorrow has to be better. 

  
  



	2. Simon Hates Physics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elaine is fed up.  
> Simon hates science, kinda.  
> Jace tolerates Simon.  
> Clary and Jace are hiding something.  
> Alec is silent but sassy.  
> Izzy is a shit disturber. And a tentative deal is made.  
> Will Simon make it through a day without being called a nerd?
> 
> Also, turns out I may suck at writing summaries. LOL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! The response I am getting on this fic in such a short time has been so overwhelmingly positive! 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was supposed to be shorter than it ended up. But I got inspired and it ran away from me. It's almost double the length of the first chapter and I am quite happy with how it turned out. Let me know what you though of it in the comments. :)
> 
> Now without further ado...Chapter 2!

Tomorrow, as it turns out, is in fact _not_ better. 

Simon wakes up to a distant voice calling out to him. He can’t quite make out the words but there is something familiar about the voice. He furrows his brows together and tries to focus on deciphering this foreign tongue his sleep addled brain has created when he is unceremoniously jerked awake. Someone has forcefully - _and rudely -_ ripped his noise cancelling headphones off his head.  
  
“Simon!” _Oh_ , he thinks, _that’s why the voice sounded familiar_ , instantly recognizing the exasperated tone of his mother. “What have I told you,” she continues, “about remembering to set your alarm?” She exhales deeply. 

Elaine looks at him pointedly before continuing the scolding, “You’re nearly 18, you’ve had your Bar Mitzvah, that means you’re an adult,” she says matter-of-factly. “Now, get up and get ready for class. You’re already late”.  
  
Simon bolts up, shaking off the last tendrils of sleep as he takes in the words being hurled at him. “Uh,” he begins intelligently, “wh-what time is it?”  
  
Elaine makes a show of moving his bedside clock to angle into his view. Simon clumsily shoves his glasses on and looks over; _7:48am_ it reads. He blinks his eyes rapidly as if attempting to make a liar of the clock.  
  
Suddenly Simon is standing, breathing hard as panic sets in. “Fuck!” he exclaims loudly.  
  
“Language Simon!” Elaine chastises.  
  
“Sorry! I-I mean,” he tries to back peddle before he looks down and realizes he is standing before his mother, seventeen years old, in only his baby Yoda boxers and Space Invaders socks. “Fuck!” He repeats.  
  
She tsks at him before continuing, “Just...get ready. You’re supposed to be at your first class in 11 minutes. And _I_ need to head out to work. Now move!” 

With that, she turns and leaves Simon standing there, wide eyed and panicked. _How is this his life?_

By the time Simon has finished hurriedly getting himself ready and pulls up to the student parking lot he’s already over 30 minutes late. He practically throws himself up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. Which he would be impressed with himself for not tripping. _If_ he wasn’t currently frantic and panicking. Once he reaches the door to his chemistry class he stops to compose himself. Or at least, that’s what he had intended to do. His own two feet and momentum betray him however, as he ends up barreling through the door and onto the floor on the other side. The irony that physics is his downfall into chemistry is not lost on him. 

* * *

Jace tolerates Simon.  
  
When he first met Simon, he thought the guy was a neurotic spaz that seemed to have a hate out for him. He was right of course, as per usual. But the guy is Clary’s best friend. So he kind of has to put up with him. It became clear very early on that dating Clary meant Simon came along with her as a package deal.  
  
Jace fell for Clary so fast and so hard it shook him. And Jace is unshakeable. The tiny beautiful spitfire won him over faster than he could blink. The spark between them ignited with such a furosity that it started a fire that was set to consume them. The problem with flash fires however, is they can fizzle out almost as fast as they started. 

He never would have thought he would literally stumble into a relationship, much less a serious one. Jace is fun, he likes to have fun, and often that fun includes gorgeous women and obnoxiously loud house parties. But one look at Clary and he knew this could be something, something real, something he didn’t know he needed. 

What he _didn’t_ need however, was some nerdy tag along who didn’t know how to shut up. But, if it means he gets to be with Clary, he supposes he can put up with Simon. Most of the time. Ok, _some_ of the time. 

Except, sometimes he catches how Simon looks at Clary. He sees the tenderness in his eyes when he looks at her. He sees the joy on his face and the care he takes when Simon hugs her. And for a moment, just a fraction of a second, Jace feels something other than disdain for the messy brown haired boy. He isn’t quite sure what to call that feeling. He doesn’t allow himself to find out.

  
Simon is a fiercely loyal friend who would fight the world to protect the people he loves. He would get his ass handed to him of course, but Jace digresses. 

Simon is also intensely passionate about things that interest him. Jace has heard him go on for hours about this new fantasy novel he is reading, or about a documentary he saw on Netflix. Once, Jace got a front row seat to witness Simon’s full intensity when Maia asked him which actor had played his favourite doctor on ‘Doctor Who’. After what seemed like hours of debate it was finally revealed Peter Capaldi was in fact Simon’s top choice, much to Maia’s disgust. 

Jace has also had a front row seat, _literally_ , to watch Simon at his most impassioned. When he is up on stage, guitar in hand, microphone at his lips, Simon transforms. He is no longer a perpetually awkward Big Bang Theory stereotype. Simon owns the stage, displaying impressive mastery of his talents. He exudes confidence and coolness. Music is Simon’s escape. A way to express himself when words fail; an emotion. Through music, Simon can be Simon. 

Jace can relate. Football allows him to just be. Allows him to feel and express himself. It’s his way to vent out his frustrations and forget. Simply put, Jace feels alive on the field. He suspects Simon feels the same on stage. He can respect that.  
  
So, Simon isn’t all bad. In fact he has some solid redeeming qualities. And, at the end of the day he is Clary’s best friend and if his friendship makes her happy, well then Jace is appreciative. 

* * *

  
  


Jace’s head snaps up as he hears a duo of loud bangs. He looks behind him and quickly realizes where those bangs had come from. The door has been flung open with such force that the handle has made its home in the drywall and the reason for all this is currently lying on the floor face down. _Simon._

For a moment it’s as if all the sound has been sucked out of the room as everyone whips around to stare at the source of the commotion. It doesn’t last long however before the entire class, Mr. Rey included, breaks out into raucous laughter.  
  
For a moment Jace is torn. Part of him, the part that existed before he met Simon, wants to join in the laughter. But another part of him wants to rush to Simon’s side and make sure the guy is ok. Simon is still lying on the ground face down and that was without a doubt a hard landing.  
  
It’s when Jace sees the small spasms Simon is making that he makes his decision. He is kneeling down beside Simon in only a few short moments. Being so close to him now, Jace can hear the muffled whimpers that Simon is trying to suppress. 

“Simon,” he says gently. “You ok buddy?”  
  
Simon doesn’t reply but he lets a quiet whimper slip out. Jace can’t see Simon’s face, but he can see the redness that has bloomed on his cheek. The guy is embarrassed and probably in pain if the looks of the drywall are any indication. 

“Simon, c’mon,” Jace goes to place a comforting hand on Simon’s back but hesitates, unsure of how Simon might react. Then Simon lets another whimper escape and Jace just goes for it. Jace can feel how warm Simon is, even through the hoodie he wears. Simon stiffens for a moment and Jace can feel the muscles in his back contract. But when Jace rubs his hand in small soft circles he can feel Simon begin to relax a bit. 

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here buddy.” Jace moves his hand to grip Simon’s bicep and gently urges him to get up. Simon has surprisingly solid arms - Jace doesn’t know what to do with that information.

Simon acquisences and begins to stand up with a grunt. He is turned back towards the door in an effort to hide his face from the class behind him, who are beginning to wind down their mindless laughter. Jace catches a glimpse of Simon’s face, red and wet with tears and screwed into a pained expression, glasses slightly askew. Simon’s eyes dart up and meet his own for a split second before falling back to the ground, clearly uncomfortable being this vulnerable.   
  
Jace still has his hand on Simon’s arm and he uses it to gently nudge him into motion. Soon they are making their way down the hall side by side. Jace knows there is a small washroom off of the gym’s weight training room that typically is never used so he guides them there. 

Once in the washroom, Jace locks the door behind them and turns to look at Simon. He looks exhausted and his skin is red and blotchy. Simon slowly brings his gaze up to look Jace in the eye. “Thanks,” he croaks out quietly. 

Jace smiles warmly. “No problem. You ok?” He looks Simon up and down appraisingly. 

“Uh, y-yeah I-I think so.” Simon pats himself up and down as if to check that he is all in one piece. He winces as he moves his left wrist. “I’m going to be bruised tomorrow though. Both literally and figuratively. My reputation was mediocre at best, now...it’s just going to be laughable.” He chuckles bitterly, “Pun not intended.” Jace chokes out a snicker at the bad pun.

Simon breathes in and holds it for a moment before continuing, “You didn’t need to do that back there.”  
  
“Yes I did. I couldn’t just let you lie on the floor. God knows what kind of chemicals are spilt on it.`` He looks at Simon and offers a small smile.  
  
Simon searches his face for something but doesn’t seem to find it. “Why?” Simon asks after a moment.

“Why what?” Jace cocks an eyebrow curiously. 

“Why did you do it? Why did you check on me? Why didn’t you laugh like everyone else?” Simon asks seriously. 

“Fuck everyone else.” Jace states bluntly. “They’re assholes for laughing at you.”

“Well yeah, but, why?” Simon presses on. “I don’t get why you’d help me. We don’t get along. We end up arguing most of the time we talk. W-We’re basically sworn enemies! I mean, y-you hate me!”  
  
Jace looks crestfallen. “Is that what you really think? That I hate you Simon?” Jace exhales deeply and looks at his feet for a moment before looking Simon in the eye. “Look, I helped you because it was the right thing to do. You were hurting Simon, and enemy or not that’s not something I enjoy seeing. Yeah, ok, we don’t always get along. And yeah, you might annoy the living shit out of me most of the time, but that doesn’t mean I hate you.” Simon’s eyes widen at the last statement.

“Huh,” Simon huffs and looks as if he is pondering something. “I-I-I don’t know what to do with that information.” 

“Let me ask you something.” Jace is looking at him pointedly. “Do you hate me?” Jace asks, staring into Simon’s eyes, searching. 

Simon’s eye bolt and lock onto Jace’s. His mouth opens and then closes a few times as if trying to find the words to say but failing. “I-I-I…” he stutters but doesn’t continue.

Jace offers a small smile but it’s forced. “Well...ok then.” He looks down before turning and unlocking the door. As he grabs the handle to open it he continues without looking at Simon, “Take care of yourself ok Simon? Get some ice on that wrist. It’ll, uh, it’ll bring down the swelling. I know how shitty a fucked up wrist that can feel.” With that Jace is out the door leaving Simon wide eyed and fidgeting. 

Where he’s going, he doesn’t know. Doesn’t really care. He just needs to get distance between himself and Simon right now. 

* * *

  
  


He is mindlessly throwing himself at a tackle dummy on the practise field when Clary finds him. He’s missed his second class completely and skipped lunch in the cafeteria. Of course Clary came to find him, she’s seen him in this state before and naturally she would know where to find him.  
  
“Jace, stop that.” She calls out to him as she approaches. “You don’t have any pads or guards on, you’re going to hurt yourself before the game tonight.” 

Jace is sweating and he can feel his adrenaline coursing through his veins. Reluctantly he pulls himself away from the dummy. “I’m fine,” he replies dismissively. 

Clary looks him up and down. “Yeah, uh huh, no. You’re not. You’re pissed at something and I’m just going to take a wild guess that it has to do with Simon.”

Jace’s eyes narrow and he looks at her incredulously. “Why would you think that?” He says the words carefully. 

She sighs and smiles tightly while taking a step closer. “Simon told me what happened.” 

Jace lets out a noncommittal noise and nods her way. “Of course he did. Did he tell you he hates me too? Or did you always know that?” He knows his tone is clipped and it’s coming out harsher than he intends. 

Clary’s expression softens a bit, “He doesn’t hate you Jace. I think _he_ thinks he does but I can tell he doesn’t, not really. I think he’s just -” She stops herself, considering her words.

“He’s just what? An ungrateful little prick? Yeah, kinda got that.” Jace balls his hands into fists and lets out an agitated snort. 

“He’s jealous!” Clary blurts, involuntarily letting the words slip. She’s no longer looking at Jace, instead she is looking down at her feet, suddenly fascinated with her converse. 

Jace shakes his head. “Wha-why? Why the hell would he be jealous?” He studies her face, searching for an answer.

She looks back up at him pointedly. “Think about it Jace. Ever since you and I met, Simon has acted a little differently. He’s not his normal talkative, bubbly, cheerful self. Lately he’s been more reserved and insecure. I mean, he’s never been super confident but he’s never really been one to be this unsure of himself. He’s infuriatingly strong headed sometimes. But lately...it-it’s like...he’s become meek. When it’s just me and him, it’s like for a moment his spark is back. But when it’s all of us - I see the way he looks at us Jace, at you. I think he’s jealous. Of _us_ ,” her voice breaks on the last word. She has to look away again, her gaze settling back on her shoes. “He’s jealous of what we _were_ .”  
  
Jace takes in a sharp breath because there it is. The thing that’s been hanging over their heads like fucking guillotine for the last few weeks. The words reverberate through his skull and echo in his every cell. ‘ _What we were’._ The unspoken secret they’ve kept hidden until they ‘figure things out’. Until Jace figures himself out. His whole body stiffens and he can feel his skin flush with heat. 

“I-I can’t talk about this right now Clary. I...just can’t,” he offers her a remorseful look. “I’m sorry,” his voice drops to a whisper. 

Clary can only nod in glum understanding. She drags her eyes to meet his one last time, “We can, um, we can talk later. Yeah.” She lets her head hang once more as she walks away. She stops for a second but doesn’t turn to face him again. “I, uh - have a good game tonight.” Soon she’s off the field and Jace follows her sorrowfully until she disappears back through the school doors. 

  
  


* * *

  
It’s unseasonably cold for an April afternoon. Simon is freezing his ass off, almost literally. He’s not 100% sure if he can’t feel his butt because of the temperature or because the old wooden bleachers offer no cushioning. He zips his hoodie up as far as it will go. He shivers as he pulls his hands into the sleeves in an attempt to conserve heat, wincing as his wrist complains about the movement. Why did he let Clary talk him into going to this stupid game like a cruel form of penance? 

Simon never did understand the appeal of contact sports. In his opinion it’s a field full of idiots trying to prove their own toxic masculinity and work out their teenage angst. He suspects some of them are only here because their anger management counsellor suggested a ‘ _healthy outlet’_ to blow off steam instead of setting their neighbours trash cans on fire or joyriding in grandpa’s Caddie.  
  


The game isn’t set to start for another 15 minutes and most of the players aren’t on the field yet. He’s sure Jace is still in the locker room trying to figure out a way to keep his perfect blonde locks from getting an unsightly case of helmet hair. _A lot_ of gel and hairspray probably. 

A gust of wind hits him and sends a shiver down his spine. _Yeah, nope, fuck this. Not worth it,_ he thinks. He gets up and takes a step to leave. “Ooof,” he walks head on into a tree. _Why does a tree smell this nice?_ He takes a step back and blinks rapidly as he readjusts his glasses. His eyes focus on the tree, only it’s not a tree. It’s a man. Broad and impossibly tall and glaring down at Simon with big hazel eyes. 

_Alec Lightwood._ Jace’s broody adoptive brother. Alec is only a few months older than Jace and thus they’ve always been very close, sharing a lot of classes together. The complete opposite to Jace in many ways, Alec is quiet and reserved. Simon would say the guy borders on unapproachable with how intensely serious he is. Yet, Alec is quite popular and a talented archer consistently ranking on top in Archery Club. 

“S-sorry! I didn’t see you there. How did I not see you? I mean, you’re kind of hard to miss. Look at the height of you! Exactly how tall are you anyway? You’re like a-a freaking mountain or something dude. No offense. Not like you look like a mountain or anything, I don’t mean to offend-” Simon is rambling. It’s one of his nervous habits and once he starts he really can’t stop until someone, usually Clary, stops him. 

Alec just blinks at him. “Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?” Alec says bluntly. 

“Uh, o-oh yeah! All the time! It’s sort of my thing.” Simon grins up at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re intimidating as hell?”

Alec shoots him an unimpressed look, “I can’t be here for all of...this,” he gestures vaguely towards Simon. 

“You just gestured to _all_ of me,” Simon replies a little indignantly. Alec shakes his head and turns to climb up to the next row of the bleachers. 

Hidden behind Alec and with a wide coquettish grin on her painted red lips is Isabelle Lightwood. Jace and Alec’s younger sister. She’s a grade below them and tends to hangout in the same crowd as her siblings. Isabelle is just as beautiful as her brothers and just as intense, if not more. _Must be something in the water,_ Simon thinks. She is friendly, talkative and blush inducingly flirty. Simon once passed her in the stairwell and tripped walking up the steps when he locked eyes with her and she winked at him. He could feel all the blood in his body rushing to his face when she handed him his glasses. After that Simon can’t seem to be around her without blushing. 

True to form he feels the heat begin to creep into his face as he quickly averts his eyes from her gaze. 

“Oh, well hello Simon,” she purrs. “What brings you here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at one of these games alone before. Jace told me Clary wasn’t coming to this one.” A look passes over her face that Simon can’t place.

“Oh yeah, I-I was actually just leaving actually,” Simon manages to stutter out. 

“Nonsense, here come sit with us.” Her tone leaves no room for debate. 

Simon looks up at Alec who shoots him a disapproving look, but he moves to sit down on the bleachers, leaving enough room between Alec and himself for Isabelle to sit. 

She elegantly folds herself into position between the two boys. “So, you never answered my question. What brings you here Simon?”  
  
“Uh, well Jace invited Clary and I, and uh, I don’t really know why I’m here.” 

Isabelle considers this for a moment. “Well, you’re here and I’m sure Jace is happy to have the support.” 

She glances back at the field, “Oh look, there he is!” She stands up and cheers loudly for him which catches Jace’s attention and he looks up into the bleachers. Simon can see the moment Jace’s face lights up and breaks into a crooked grin as he sees his sister and brother here to cheer him on as usual. Jace sends a three-finger salute their way. Then his gaze drifts beside Isabelle and locks onto Simon. His smile falters slightly but his expression is warm, if pained. He seems to hesitate for a second before sending a small aborted wave to Simon. 

The game, as it turns out, isn't as boring as Simon would have thought. Though that might have something to do with Isabelle excitedly talking him through all the plays the teams made and proudly jumping up in cheer whenever Jace made a successful catch or goal. 

Isabelle and him chat off and on through most of the game and he quickly warms to her. Finding conversation flows surprisingly easy with her, almost like the ease he finds when talking to Clary. She insists he call her ‘Izzy’ because, _‘all my friends call me Izzy.’_ Look at Simon go, making friends all on his own. Clary would be proud! Alec, on the other hand, remains stoic and waspish. Only adding to the conversation when pushed by Izzy. 

The Alicante Demons ended up winning the game, thanks to a last minute score by Jace, of course. As the game comes to an end everyone is winding down, Simon is feeling empowered by his newly formed friendship. “Hey Izzy,” he turns to her. “Can-can I ask you a favor?” 

She is quiet for a moment before nodding and smiling, “Shoot.” 

“Uh, well, Clary said something to Jace and I the other day. A-about us needing to learn to get along and that we have more in common than we think. I, well, I don’t exactly always see eye to eye with him, but I...I want to?” He phrases it like a question. “Clary’s right, she usually is. Except for her love of black licorice, that shits just wrong! Anyway, what I’m trying to say, what I’m trying to ask is...uh fuck…” _Get it together Lewis! Swallow your goddamn pride and bury the hatchet. For Clary._ “Ok, ok. Uh, do you know any way, um, anything I can do to get closer to Jace?” Why the fuck did he word it _that_ way?

Izzy looks up at the sky for a moment as if pondering the meaning of life. She giggles and turns to him again. “You’re a bit neurotic aren’t you?” 

“Neurotic is in fact my middle name,” Simon states matter-of-factly. 

“Well, I’m not going to do the leg work for you,” a look flashes across her face as if a lightbulb went off in her brain, “Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re in Jace’s chemistry class right?” 

Simon nods nervously, wondering if Jace had already told her about his embarrassing episode this morning or if it had just spread through the gossip channels already. 

Izzy shoots him a grin so mischievous it sends shivers through his whole body. “Ok. Jace is failing his chemistry class pretty hard. He’s never had a head for science and I’ve tried to offer him help but I think he has too much pride to accept it from his little sister. Even if I am the smartest one in the family.” Alec shoots her a look that Simon would translate roughly to: _Really bitch? I’m right here._ Hmm, sassy Alec is a new development. 

“Anyway,” she continues. “My point _is_ , maybe he will accept help if it’s coming from you. He’s getting pretty freaked since Coach Garroway threatened to kick him off the team if he didn’t smarten his ass up. Apparently Coach doesn’t play favourites even if Jace is dating his daughter…” she cocks her head to the side thoughtfully, “or maybe that’s _why_ he doesn’t favour him.”

Simon considers this for a minute. “Ok...ok, yeah, I think I could do that. Not a half bad idea. That could work.” 

Izzy lets loose another one of her award winning smiles, “Good! It’s settled then. Oh and Simon…”

“Yeah?” 

“If you ever tell Jace I told you any of this, I will have no other choice than to hurt you. I know 10 different ways to kill someone with a scrap piece of paper and an elastic band.”

Simon laughs nervously, much harder that is appropriate. “Uh mom’s the word. Scouts honour. I mean, I wasn’t a scout but that’s a thing right?”

Izzy turns her attention down to the base of the bleachers where Jace is making his way up to meet them. She launches herself at him and swings around his neck excitedly. “Congratulations bro! I knew you’d kill it like always. Although you kept us guessing up until that last score.” She punches his chest playfully. Simon notices his attempt to hide his wince from her hit. 

Alec ambles up from behind Simon, startling him in the process. _Someone needs to put a bell on that guy. How is someone that tall so freaking quiet?_  
  
Alec slaps palms with Jace and pulls him forcefully into a side hug. “Great play out there. Took your sweet time about it though.”  
  
“Aaand fuck you too good sir!” Jace chuckles at his brother. 

He turns his attention to Simon. “Hey,” he says sheepishly. “You uh, you came.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess I did.” Simon forces out a clipped laugh. 

Izzy looks between the two of them before grabbing Alec by the wrist. “Ok, we’re out. See you at home Jace!” She waves with her free hand and drags Alec quickly down the bleachers. 

Jace’s gaze is locked onto Simon. He lets his eyes drift down to his injured wrist. Then back up to meet Simon’s brown eyes. Simon shivers involuntarily at the motion. 

“You cold?” Jace asks simply.

“Uh yeah, didn’t expect an April afternoon to feel like January.”

Before Simon realizes what’s happening Jace takes off his letterman jacket with his name ‘HERONDALE’ emblazoned on the back and he tosses it at him. Simon, surprising even himself, catches it. 

“This is, uh, thanks. But it’s not necessary.” His body betrays him as at that very moment another involuntary tremble wracks his body. 

“Yeah, no. Take it, wear it. If you get sick because I didn’t insist you wear the jacket I’m sure I’d never hear the end of it from someone.”

Simon hesitates for a moment, then proceeds to fumble putting on the jacket. It’s too wide in the shoulders for him but it _is_ already proving to be extremely warm. And it smells comforting. A mix of woodsy musk and sweetness like melted sugar and vanilla. Simon will unpack this information, oh, _never._

“Thanks.” Simon feels a flush creep into his cheeks. The nerves are building up within him, akin to the feeling of being on the verge of vomiting. _Just do it, now, before you second guess it._ Simon swallows thickly. “Hey Jace, just hear me out before you cut me off alright.”

Jace looks at him seriously and nods for him to continue.

“So a little birdy, uh, told me you we’re doing so hot in chemistry-”

“Fucking Izzy!” Jace huffs out angrily. 

Simon shakes his head rapidly. “No no! You can’t let her know that you know it was her. She - God Jace, she threatened my life. And as much as I complain to the contrary, I actually like being alive! Also, I said no interruptions!”

There is an awkward pause between the two of them before Simon continues, “Anyway, I was thinking about what Clary said yesterday, about us learning to get along. I was thinking, and I know this is fucking crazy because, well duh. But I was thinking that I could help you out. Like a, like a tutor or a study buddy.” 

Jace just blinks. After a minute he opens his mouth but Simon cuts him off.

“If it turns out we truly want to kill each other at any point, we can call the whole thing off. But as much as you get on my nerves I don’t _really_ want to see you fail, and I am a wiz when it comes to chemistry. Besides, consider it my way of saying ‘thank you’. For… for what you did for me today.” For once, Simon looks at Jace appreciatively. 

He waits for Jace to respond, to frown and walk away, to do...something. Time seems to drag on forever while Jace seems to be at war with himself. Finally he blinks, “Ok.” 

“Ok?” Simon asks.

“Yeah, ok. Let’s do it.” Jace confirms. 

Simon lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “O-Ok!” And he finds him smiling at Jace, actually smiling. _What the hell is going on here?!_

He gives Jace his cell number and they tentatively make plans for Jace to come over to Simon's place for a study session later in the week. 

Simon walks to his van, warmed by Jace’s jacket and a feeling in his stomach he can’t seem to place. _Hey! I finally made it through a day without being called a nerd! I guess today turned out not so bad afterall._

He isn’t exactly excited by the prospect of potentially spending extra time with Jace outside of class, but if it can somehow teach them to be more civil to each other then it’s worth it. _For Clary,_ he tells himself. 

**[Unknown: 5:47pm]**  
hey nerd. forgot to give u my number. thanks for coming -J

_Oh for fuck sakes._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again guys for all the support thus far. 
> 
> All the kudos, the comments, it's all been so wonderful and constructive and I am so very happy. It's really giving me the drive to keep going with this fic. It's my first one and I still don't entirely know what I am doing yet but I'm figuring it out slowly but surely. 
> 
> Please consider leaving a kudos or a comment. It really does help me and I appreciate all feedback and ideas. I read and respond to all comments btw :) 
> 
> Until next time, ciao!  
> -Jessey


	3. Jace Loves Latkes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon gets attacked (not really).  
> Jace arrives for their study 'date'.  
> Simon is awkward and panics.  
> Elaine might have a crush.  
> Jace loves Latkes.  
> And we meet "Lucinda"
> 
> Yeah, I can't write summaries, this is all y'all are getting lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This chapter...was a struggle. The first chapters came to me easily and I was pumped for them! This chapter though...woof! One of the downsides to not have a detailed story outline is that I'm not 100% sure what to fill each chapter with so I am making it up as I go. Because of that, I wrote, deleted, and re-wrote this chapter a couple times because I wasn't happy with it. 
> 
> So I am sorry this one came out a couple days late, but I am finally happy with how it turned out. More or less :P
> 
> Fun Fact: I know nothing of Chemistry. In my school system, when you attend high school it was not mandatory to take Chemistry. It was mandatory to choose 2 different science coarses however (Chemistry, Biology, Physics and Earth Science). I picked Physics and Earth Science. So I am frantically trying to learn -something- about Chemistry as I write this lol. 
> 
> Hopefully you guys like it too! Enjoy!

_For Clary’._ This is what Simon keeps telling himself, over and over, like a mantra. It’s been 3 days since the football game. 3 days since he and Jace made plans to get together for their first study session. That was a Tuesday, today is a Friday and, _holy sweet baby Jesus. Fuck! Today is Friday._ That means this evening Jace is supposed to come over to Simon’s house. Be in Simon’s room. And in the words of his spirit animal Shaggy Rogers, Simon is _‘freaking out man!’_

He’s not quite sure why he is freaking out but he had set his alarm to go off extra early this morning so he would have more time to clean his room and make it more presentable for when Jace got here. _Mom would be so proud._

He picked his sheet music off the floor and tucked the pages away in one of his guitar bags. He’s carefully dusted and organized his Warhammer miniatures and displayed them on the bookshelf accordingly. He’s picked up his dirty laundry and stuffed it in the hamper. He may have found a questionable sock in the process but we don’t talk about that. He’s even made his bed this morning! Something which Simon is incredibly proud of himself for. 

Simon is halfway beneath his queen size bed trying to fish out a long forgotten bowl, once used to hold popcorn during one of his and Clary’s movie nights. His door is abruptly slammed open, accompanied by a loud screech that Simon is sure will haunt his dreams later. The sudden intrusion causes Simon to jump violently. He lets out a loud yelp as the back of his head unmercifully makes contact with the metal frame of his bed. 

“Ah!! Holy hell!” He yells as he frantically extricates himself from below the bed. He turns so quickly to see what or who has caused such a commotion that he loses his balance. “Ooof!” Next thing Simon knows he is once again on the floor on his back this time. He opens his eyes and looks up through his glasses to find Rebecca standing over him with a baseball bat in hand and a wild look in her eyes.  
  
He flinches away. “What the hell is wrong with you, psycho!”

“I heard noises coming from your room,” she begins as Simon attempts to gracefully pick himself back off the floor. “It’s 6:30 in the morning for God sakes Si! You’re never up this early. I thought someone was in here holding a pillow over your face. Which, I can see the appeal of, but that’s my job!” She huffs before catching her breath and letting the bat fall to her side. “I can’t just let someone kill you off before I can.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “Gee thanks. And the ‘best big sister’ award goes to...” his words dripping with sarcasm. “I can handle myself, thank you very much. Besides, I'm too lovable for someone to want to hold a pillow over my face. I mean, _look_ at this face,” he says indignantly while wiggling his eyebrows. 

Rebecca opens her mouth to retort when suddenly she stops, catching a whiff of something in the air. She narrows her eyes curiously and scans the room. “Is that...febreeze?” 

Simon’s eyes dart to aimlessly look out the window. “M-maybe?” To his horror his voice betrays him and goes high at the end as if the word is a question.  
  
“Why is your room so clean? You only ever clean up like this when Bubbe is coming over. And I happen to know for a fact she is still in Florida.” She stares at him accusingly, her glare burning a hole in Simon’s forehead. 

“What is this, 20 questions?” He meets her stare for a split second. _Yeah, that was a mistake. Terrifying._ “I-I just thought it would be nice to have a clean room for once. Spring cleaning and all that. That’s still a thing right?” He tries to force out what he hopes looks like a casual smile. It isn’t.

Rebecca’s head tilts back so far to let out a mocking laugh that Simon thinks her head might fall off. At least he kind of hopes it will. “Ha! No. Spill it Lewis!”

Simon holds her stare for a moment as if challenging her before he lets out a deep sigh in resignation. He knows he’s not winning this one. Probably not the next one either. 

“I’m having Jace over later. I-I wanted to make my room more...presentable. Give him less ammo for his ridicule rifle.” 

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Jace? As in Clary’s Jace?” Simon simply nods in confirmation. “Football Jace? Jace Herondale?” She continues. 

“Yes!” He shouts in exasperation. “How many Jace’s do _you_ know?”  
  
Her face contorts and she seems to be considering something. “Why?” She asks bluntly.

Simon rolls his eyes and huffs once more. “I’m going to be tutoring him in Chemistry. He can score a touchdown like a badass, but apparently he struggles to understand what a Covalent Bond is.” He smiles to himself.  
  
Before Rebecca can reply, Elaine comes charging through the open door. Sleeping mask pushed up on her forehead, hair falling out of a loose bun and a baseball bat in hand. She stops for a moment to blink at them in bewilderment. “Can someone please explain to me what is going on here? What on God’s green Earth is all the fuss about?”  
  
“Simon is bringing a boy home,” Rebecca blurts out with a wide grin. Simon chokes on his own tongue and begins to cough at the outburst. _How is this actually his life?_ Elaine just stares at them with comically wide eyes.

“Nonono! I-I invited Clary’s boyfriend over today for a study session. We are in the same Chemistry class. S-So, I thought, ya know, _why not_?” He croaks out the words as he regains his breath. “If that’s o-ok?” 

“Oh. Oh!” Elaine looks a bit surprised before a smile begins to cross her face and her shoulders relax. “Sure, yes. That’s fine Si. I’ll make sure to make extra dinner in case he wants some.”  
  
Suddenly her face screws up curiously, “Do I smell febreeze?” Rebecca barks out another laugh as Simon begins to feel heat bloom in his face.  
  
Elaine glances around the room appreciatively. “You know what, you can have this boy over every day of the week if it means you finally keep your room clean.” She winks at Simon. 

He just rolls his eyes before his gaze falls to the bats in the women's hands. “Why do you both have baseball bats? Planning on auditioning for ‘A League Of Their Own’?” 

Rebecca shoots him a hard look as she strolls toward the door, “Have fun cleaning King Nerd!” 

Elaine follows her out after giving the state of the room one last appreciative look.

“Remember guys: There’s no crying in baseball!” Simon calls after them.

* * *

  
  


Simon has spent the entire day feeling anxious, like he is precariously balanced on the edge of a knife. Today was pretty uneventful as far as a typical Friday goes. Though, Clary has been acting increasingly weird lately, today is no exception. On lunch break she was heating up her soup in the communal microwave when it exploded. The soup that is, not the microwave, although that would have been far more entertaining. Clary broke out into a rant, muttering something about _‘nothing can seem to go right lately’_ and, _‘can she please just have this one thing?’_ When Simon goes to help and ask what’s wrong she shoots him down coldly, refusing to discuss the matter and storming off like a kid who's just been denied an icecream cone. _Yeesh!_

Simon has just parked in the driveway and is getting out of his van when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He slings his backpack over his shoulder and makes his way up to his room, stopping to greet his mother in the kitchen on the way. Once in his room he tosses his bag into the corner by his desk before reading the text. 

**[Jasshole: 3:55 pm]**

**_yo we still on for tonight? -J_ **

Simon just stares at the text message as if it’s written in another language before he shakes his head. _It’s just Jace, you’ve hung out before. - Yes, but always with Clary as a buffer. - I’m sure it will be fine! - Really? You really think it’ll be fine? You’ll end up throttling each other within 5 minutes. - We are grown ass men. Adults. We can be civil for a couple hours. - Yeah, no, I’m taking bets on certain death._

After a few minutes of over thinking every possible scenario that could go down tonight he takes in a shaky breath before he replies. _Be casual._

**[Outgoing: 4:06pm]**

**_Yo man. Yeah we’re still cool for the study date. 5pm. My place. Be there or be square!_ **

_Ok, so maybe a little too casual, but passable. Good, this is - oh no._ Simon starts to have a mini-meltdown as he re-reads his text over and over again. Stuck on one word. _‘Date.’_

_Oh hell, why did he word it that way? That’s it. Life is over, calling it quits now. Maybe he’ll move to Canada. Or better yet, an Island. Or an Island in Canada. Genius!_

His inner turmoil is broken as his phone vibrates in his hand signalling another incoming message. It’s then that he realizes he is still staring at his screen blurry-visioned. He forces himself to focus on the words. 

**[Jasshole: 4:09 pm]**

**_sure. cool. see u in an hour._**

_Ok. Ok. Maybe he didn’t notice. Breath Simon. Just, breath._ _  
__  
_This is going to be a long hour.

* * *

Turns out, an hour can pass far too quickly. Before he knows it the doorbell is chiming downstairs signalling Jace’s arrival. Simon bolts up from his bed and makes a dash for the front door. He makes it to the landing at the top of the stairs just in time to observe Rebecca twist the deadbolt and pull the door open. And suddenly, there is Jace. 

Simon gulps involuntarily. _Oh. Wow._

He isn’t sure what he was expecting when that door opened, but it certainly wasn’t this. Jace is wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket that seems to have an absurd amount of zippers and snaps on it. It’s adorned with contrasting white leather stripes running down the sleeves and across the chest. He’s also wearing matching black leather pants that too sport the same white leather stripes. Tucked under one arm is a helmet, also in the same black and white theme. His hair somehow still looks picture perfect in spite of the helmet. He must use an entire can of hairspray to achieve that miracle!  
  
Jace looks like the definition of ‘cool’. He also can’t be entirely comfortable because his ensemble seems to be incredibly tight on him. The leather around his arms ripples and bulges as he waves in greeting.  
  
“Hi, can I help you?” Rebecca asks.  
  
“Hey. I’m here to see Simon. We have a study date. I’m Jace.” He smiles warmly at her, pulling off his biking glove in one smooth motion before offering a hand to her. _Oh. ‘Date’. He said it too. Ok, maybe the panic was for nothing. Just a casual study date. Yep..._

  
She smiles back mischievously before shaking the offered hand. “I know who you are. I’m Rebecca, Si’s sister. I graduated last year. I’ve seen a couple of your games, color me impressed.”  
  
Jace seems to preen at the compliment. It’s painfully endearing. 

Simon has begun to carefully make his way down the stairs in an effort to curb any of his clumsy tenancies. He doesn’t exactly trust his body right now to cooperate with him. He never does really. “Oh, uh, hey Jace.” Simon waves lamely. 

Jace looks up at him, noticing him for the first time and a broad smile makes its home on his face. Simon can only flush in response. See, can’t trust his body, _ever._

“Simon,” Jace breaths out. “Hey.” If Simon didn’t know better, he would think Jace is purposely turning on that trademark Herondale charm just to annoy him. _Yep, this is going to be a long evening._

  
  


* * *

  
  


The boys make their way up to Simon’s room and he gestures to Jace to put his bag by the desk next to his own backpack. 

Jace is immediately scanning the room as if he was a detective studying a crime scene. He slowly makes his way around the room. _No doubt looking for any fuel he can use to mock me._ Simon nervously smooths out his wrinkled ‘Star Wars’ t-shirt under the scrutiny. 

“Huh, neat toy collection.” Jace has stopped at the bookshelf and Simon watches in horror as Jace haplessly picks up one of his Warhammer miniatures to study it closer. It takes only a split second before Simon has darted across the room and snatches the piece out of Jace’s grasp as gingerly as his trembling hands can manage. _Seriously, the nerve on this guy. Acting like he owns the place already._

“Jeez Jace, be careful. They're not toys! These are uh, they’re delicate and making them is a process.” Simon carefully places the miniature back into position on the shelf.  
  
Jace looks a bit affronted at first before his face twists into consideration. “Sorry. How was I to know?” His face softens before he continues, “So you make these?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I do. You can get kits and individual pieces. Paint too. Like I said, it’s a process.” Simon looks up to meet Jace’s gaze only to find the blond with a warm look on his face. Simon looks away and quickly changes topic, “So uh, uh, you brought your Chemistry work right?” Jace nods and gestures to his bag. “Sweet,” Simon continues, “Shall we get started then?”  
  
Jace nods again and brings his bag over to Simon’s bed. He haphazardly dumps the contents out. For such a small bag Jace has it stuffed with chemistry junk. Clearly no thought for organization.  
  
“Is there somewhere I can put my jacket? Leather doesn’t exactly breathe.” Simon blinks at him owlishly before gesturing to the closet. 

“Uh yeah. Um there should be a hanger in there, just hang it up.” 

“Cool.” Jace opens the closet door and looks for an empty hanger before his eyes land on something familiar. “Hey, my letterman jacket.”  
  
Simon had worn that jacket all night after Jace lent it to him after the game, even after he got home. It was comfortable and warm. Smelled good too, but Simon will die before he ever admits any of that. “Oh yeah. T-Thanks for letting me wear it. I, um...you might as well take it back when you leave tonight.”  
  
Jace considers this for a moment, “Nah. I can’t fit it in my bag and the bike doesn’t exactly have a trunk or anything. You can hold on to it for me.” He offers Simon a sheepish smile.

Jace zips off his motorcycle jacket revealing a white v-neck that Simon swears is at least 1 size too small. His brain short circuits when he notices the faint black outline of tattoos through the taut material of the shirt. 

“Ok!” Simon exclaims loudly and awkwardly. He curses himself for being so uncouth. “Let’s get started shall we?”

  
  


* * *

  
  


The next half hour is, well, it’s a struggle is what it is. Jace might be a star on the football field but he really fails to grasp any of the concepts Simon is patiently, _so fucking patiently,_ trying to teach him. It makes Simon wonder what the hell Jace does in class because it’s certainly not Chemistry. He wonders why Jace hasn’t reached out for help sooner, or taken it when Izzy has offered when he is clearly struggling so hard. The semester has been going on for a while now and Jace seems to be a full year behind. 

“Well,” he huffs in exasperation, “it would seem we have our work cut out for us here.”  
  
They are spread out on the bed facing each other. A mound of papers, textbooks and notebooks is shared between them. Simon looks at Jace pointedly before continuing on, “Seriously Jace, and I want an honest answer here, how have you even made it this far if you think that _volatile_ just means a chemical is ‘angry’?”

And that, _that_ must have hit a nerve. A flush instantly begins to bloom across the entirety of Jace’s face and he looks as though he is holding his breath. Any moment now Jace is going to turn his face into ground beef and make a garnish of his glasses, and Simon’s pretty sure that isn’t kosher. He closes his eyes and braces for impact. 

After a few moments he realizes it isn’t coming. Simon cautiously cracks one eye open and it takes a moment to process what he sees. Jace really does appear to be holding his breath, but it looks like he is trying hard to fight back a smirk, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. Simon relaxes slightly, opening both eyes, one eyebrow shooting up comically. And that’s all it takes. Jace explodes into laughter, his whole upper body shaking. Simon’s not quite sure what is so funny and honestly, he’s growing a little concerned by the outburst. But the vision of Jace laughing so freely is something else. And Simon is witnessing it for the first time. Jace, for as classically and ruggedly handsome as he is, is kind of a dorky laugher. His eyes crinkle, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down wildly, his face goes red and his mouth is open wide with every tooth on display. His whole body shakes in an uncoordinated manner and the noise coming from his throat is an amusing mix of sounds, undulating between deep sustained notes and high pitched staccato. It’s all incredibly endearing. And alarmingly contagious. 

Soon Simon is laughing too, because _why_ ? He doesn’t fucking know. It probably has something to do with Jace’s dumb face contorting as another ungainly noise - Simon can best describe as a witches cackle - rips from his throat. And in this moment Simon is struck with a realization. _It’s nice being with Jace like this._ Laughing with him stupidly at God knows what _._ He feels a slight pang of guilt because maybe they could have experienced this sooner. 

Eventually they simmer down, both grinning like idiots. Jace chuckles quietly one last time before continuing the conversation, “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never had a problem with this class until this year. I dunno man.” He shrugs as he looks up at Simon and there is a fondness in his eyes. A look Simon has seen before, when Jace bumped into Clary that day months ago. It makes Simon’s breath catch. “I guess, I guess I’ve just been a little...distracted.” 

Simon is about to say something when there is a knock at his door. He abruptly locks his thoughts away and composes himself mentally. “Come In.”  
  
Elaine cracks the door open slowly and peers around the corner before entering the rest of the way. “Oh, you must be Clary’s boyfriend!” She smiles warmly at Jace.  
  
Jace offers a small smile back, but something about it seems pained to Simon. He’s not sure why. Jace stands and offers his hand to her politely, easily sliding back into his confident persona. “Hello Mrs. Lewis. Very nice to meet you. I’m Jace.” 

She takes his hand and enthusiastically shakes it. “Please, call me Elaine. Mrs. Lewis makes me seem so old,” she laughs as if not every parent has used that line before. “How is the studying coming along?”  
  
Simon rolls his eyes but smirks. “Oh, it’s...it’s going.” ‘ _Right off a cliff’_ he mutters under his breath.

Jace suppresses a laugh deep in his throat and Elaine just raises an eyebrow at the two of them. “Well, I just wanted to come up and let you boys know it’s dinner time.”

Jace’s smile falters, “Oh, uh, I suppose I should head out then.”  
  
“You will do no such thing!” Elaine exclaims. “I made enough for you as well. I assumed you’d be staying for dinner?”  
  
Jace looks a little taken aback, his trademark confidence momentarily wavering. “I really don’t mean to be an imposition for you.”  
  
“Nonsense. I made Latkes, and _a lot_ of them. They’re Si’s favourite.” She beems.  
  
“Well, I suppose it would be rude of me to decline. Thank you Mrs. Le - Elaine.” Jace gives her one of his 1000 watt smiles and a wink and Simon swears his mother fucking _swoons._

“Perfect!” She chirps happily. “I’ll see you boys down there.”  
  
Immediately after she’s left the room Jace turns to Simon. “What the hell is a Latke?”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“That was probably the single greatest thing I have ever put in my mouth.” Jace moans happily as he spreads himself out on the bed. Simon chokes and begins to sputter before Jace chuckles and cuts back in, “Dirty mind. Didn’t know you had it in you Lewis,” he smirks playfully. “For real though. I don’t know why I’ve gone 18 years without eating a Latke but I tell you what, an injustice has been righted today.” Jace pats his stomach absentmindedly. 

Simon leans back beside Jace against the headboard. “I know right? They are like the single greatest thing to happen to the potato since french fries. Although they technically existed before fries.”

Jace hums thoughtfully and cocks his head lazily towards Simon. “Is all Jewish food that good?”  
  
Simon barks out a quick laugh, “Oh no, no no. Latkes are really the crown jewel. If you’re feeling adventurous try Matzo Ball Soup. But be warned,” Simon suddenly goes serious. “Avoid Gefilte Fish like the plague.”  
  
Jace chuckles once more, his eyes heavy, clearly over fed and happy about it. “Noted.”  
  
There is a silence between them for a minute. For once it doesn’t seem awkward and Simon doesn’t feel the need to fill it. It’s just...nice. 

Eventually Simon does break the silence. “So, a motorcycle huh?” He asks, looking down at Jace’s leather pants. He catches himself staring just a moment longer than is strictly appropriate.

“So, a minivan huh?” Jace retorts with a cocky grin. 

Simon gasps, “Lucinda isn’t _just_ a minivan! She is a 1992 Pontiac Trans Sport! A classic and a machine built for adventure! She’s been through a lot and her starter can be a bit finicky. And she leaks oil like a broken faucet, but she’s been around for over 300,000 long kilometres. She’s built to last!”

  
“It’s a Dust Buster on wheels.” Jace deadpans. 

Simon scowls, “You take that back. I will not have someone insulting Lucinda in my own home!” 

Jace snorts, his smirk getting bigger. “Nah, I don’t think I will. I didn’t know Pontiac was made by Black & Decker.” 

Simon’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. He sits up and turns to look Jace dead in the eye outraged. “W-Well, I didn’t know leather came in zebra patterns!” It’s a lame comeback, he knows that, but it’s all his brain can come up with in the moment. Jace blinks at him a moment before he breaks out into another one of those wonderfully endearing full body laughs. Simon has to look away as he feels the tell-tale heat creep up his neck and spread across his cheeks. He glances back at Jace and not for the first time, he is struck by his beauty.  
  
Simon has always been able to appreciate beauty in all its forms. A heartfelt declaration of love, a stunning scene in a movie, a vivid sunset transitioning into a starry night during clear skies, watching his mother put on her makeup as a child, Clary’s eyes sparkling when she is excited or happy. But Jace losing himself to the moment, laughing like no one else can hear, smiling so freely...it’s beautiful. Exquisite. And that scares Simon. He’s not sure what it’s supposed to mean or why it causes him to feel this way. He shakes his head, mentally locking these thoughts away. 

He comes back to reality just in time to catch Jace stick his tongue out at him. “We have another hour before I should leave. I guess we should get back to Chemistry.” Jace groans but continues on, “It’s been made painfully aware that apparently I need all the help I can get.” 

Simon lets himself smile, but it feels a little forced now. “Oh, you need help alright.” 

_Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again guys!
> 
> Thanks once again for the continued support on this fic! All the love, the feedback, the comments and kudos, it all melts my heart! So thank you :) 
> 
> I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! I know I am actually have a blast writing it. I didn't know I would enjoy writing nearly this much, but it's been awesome. 
> 
> Fun Facts:  
> 1) I actually live on an island in Canada. It's called Vancouver Island, and I encourage anyone reading this to look that up because it is breathtakingly beautiful and everyone should know about it :P  
> 2) Latkes are something everyone has to try. They are a deep-fried Potato "pancake" and are wonderfully crispy on the outside, yet creamy on the inside. You can season them basically however you want and are traditionally served with some kind of dip (most commonly applesauce). Y'all should try one sometime if you haven't already. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks again everyone! Until the next one, Ciao!  
> -Jessey


	4. Jace Hates Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Clary talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for your continued support on this fic. You guys never cease to bring a smile to my face. 
> 
> This is more of a serious, angsty chapter than we have had so far. It wasn't my favourite to write but it's necessary for the plot to develop and as the story goes on more will be explained. It's also a bit of a shorter chapter as I originally had it lumped together with an upcoming scene, but it felt weird putting the two scenes together as this one was much more serious. 
> 
> I promise some more good things and much more humour is to come in the future. (Also more angst naturally)
> 
> Please, as always, leave me some feedback on this chapter, let me know what you think. This is by far the chapter I am most self conscious about and the only way to get more skilled at writing stuff like this is to grow through feedback :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

_Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea,_ Jace thinks as he knocks on Clary’s front door. Almost a week had passed since Clary confronted him on the practise field. Since then they haven’t really spoken. He knows they _need_ to talk. He just doesn’t know where to start or what to say. How are they supposed to talk about _this_ when Jace doesn’t even know what is going through his own head the majority of the time lately. Clary had texted him the day previous asking him to come over. So here he is, standing on her porch in the rain, water dripping off of his helmet. The twisted fact that the storm outside perfectly mirrors that of the one in his mind right now doesn’t escape him.

He just stands there for what feels like an hour, but is most likely just a few minutes. Shivering, he makes one final attempt to collect his thoughts. Finally, he lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding and brings his hand to knock on the door. Before he has a chance to second guess his decision the door is suddenly swung open.   
  
“Jace. What are you doing standing in the rain, son?” Mr. Garroway’s voice booms loud enough to break Jace out of his reverie. “It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you around here.”   
  
“Hey Coach,” Jace offers the taller man a small smile. He clears his throat before continuing, “I was hoping to see Clary, sir.”   
  
“Of course,” Mr Garroway turns and hollers down the hallway, “Clary! Jace is here to see you!” 

He steps out of the way to let Jace in. Once the door is closed behind them he turns his attention back to Jace who is now absently playing with the straps on his helmet. “Good game last Tuesday. We’re proud of you Herondale.” Mr. Garroway pats him on the shoulder. He lowers his voice and continues, “How are classes going?”   
  
Jace puts on one of his trademark smirks and opens his mouth before the coach cuts him off.   
  
“And don’t think about giving me some bullshit story. I’ve been talking to Mr. Rey.” He folds his arms across his broad chest and cocks an eyebrow at Jace. 

Jace’s smirk is wiped from his face in an instant. “Not so great,” he replies honestly. “But, I got a tutor for Chemistry. I don’t want to let you down, coach.” 

The older man’s eyes widen and he nods favourably. “A tutor? Well hot damn!” A wide smile breaks across his dark features. “I was beginning to think I’d never see the day you asked for help. Who’re you getting to tutor you?”   
  
“Uh, Simon Lewis, sir.”   
  
“Simon? Breaking out the big guns eh? I happen to know he’s top of his class. Good choice Herondale. I'm proud of you.” The coach seems genuinely pleased to hear this development.   
  
Just then bright red hair makes a sudden appearance from behind one of the doorways down the hall. Clary’s face wears a stunned look but whatever she must be thinking she keeps to herself.   
  
“Hey Jace,” she offers him a small smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “You can stop being a protective dad now Luke, it’s just Jace. I think I can handle him.”   
  
Luke laughs and a tender look makes its home on his face. “Oh, I have no doubt about that.” He turns to Jace one last time, “Good luck, son” And then the coach disappears down the hall. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jace sits on the edge of Clary’s bed. He can’t seem to stop fidgeting with the straps on his helmet and he can’t find the courage to meet her gaze. The last time he had been in this room something shifted between them. They had been on this very bed, in the heat of the moment. Clary had been on top of him, straddling the taut muscles that comprised his torso, when suddenly Jace was overcome with frustration and guilt. It hadn’t been the first time they had ended up in this position, but this time was different. This time quickly became more heated than ever before. Clary looked down at him, her bright eyes had grown dark, pupils blown wide. This time they were headed into territory they had not yet ventured into. Although Jace would consider himself an old pro despite his 18 short years on this Earth, it was all new for Clary. It didn’t feel right. It took him a moment to realize he didn’t feel _anything_. 

Stunned by this realization, Jace did the unthinkable. He had pushed her off. He couldn’t do this. Not to her. Not when his mind was a swirling cocktail of uncertainty and confusion. Through the storm brewing in his thoughts, he knew Clary deserved better than this. She shot him a look he could never forget, a mix of puzzlement, embarrassment and _hurt_ .   
  
They had stayed like that, in silence, for God knows how long. Jace certainly didn’t know, despite all the times he had called himself a God. Clary was desperately searching his eyes for something, anything. An explanation perhaps? It was when Clary cupped his cheek with a gentleness he had never known was possible that he broke. Despite his best efforts the hurricane storm had broken through his mental dam, finally allowed to flow freely. It was the first, and only time he has ever let himself cry in front of someone that wasn’t Alec or Izzy.   
  
If he couldn’t be honest with himself, he at least had to be as honest with her as he could. She deserved the truth and that was the only thing he could offer her at that moment. The problem was that he wasn’t exactly sure _what_ the whole truth was yet. His feelings for Clary were still there, he knows this to be true. He doesn’t think it would be possible to lose feelings for Clary. Simply put, she is his soulmate, another thing he knew to be true. But after weeks of secret turmoil and war raging inside him, he finally knows something else to be true: His feelings changed. They had morphed, grown, into something else. Something already familiar. It had happened so gradually it was almost imperceivable until it had already happened.

  
Where once existed passion and lust, now is occupied by a need to care for the redhead and a desire to protect her. But it’s not the same type of care and protection that he associates with lovers. No. It felt familiar. And he knew exactly where he had felt this before; Alec and Izzy. He loved them intensely and if needed, he would sacrifice this happiness, even his life for them. He knows he would do the same for Clary as well.   
  
At the time he offered her all the truth and honesty he had. After many questions from Clary that Jace simply didn’t have all the answers too, it was decided they take a break. For Clary to try to process these feelings. And for Jace to figure them out. 

  
And now, here he sits, on that same bed and Clary has that same gentle look on her face. And Jace still isn’t any closer to having the answers she seeks.   
  
“How’re you holding up?” She ventures tentatively, almost a whisper.   
  
“Fine,” he lies.   
  


She looks at him with a sadness in her eyes. “Alright.”   
  
After a moment of awkward silence, mercifully she changes the subject, “So, Simon is tutoring you? When did that happen?” 

  
Jace hesitantly brings his eyes up to meet hers. “Uh, at my last game. Simon was there with Izzy and Alec. He said he could help me out. Honestly, I’m doing pretty shitty in that class so it made sense.”   
  
Clary looks a little surprised. “Oh,” she breathes out. “I didn’t know he actually went. That-that’s...good.” 

“Yeah,” it’s all Jace can come up with. 

“W-Well, I’m glad. Have you, um...have you guys met up yet. You know, to study?” She broaches the subject hesitantly. Everything about this conversation is handled with such fragility you would think that the tension alone could shatter the world. _It probably could,_ Jace thinks. 

“Yeah, on Friday. His mom made Latkes.” Why he is offering up such trivial information he’s not sure, but his mind isn’t exactly focused on the current conversation.   
  
Clary hums thoughtfully. “So...how did that go?” 

Jace looks up at her, more assured this time. He thinks back to a few days ago and can’t help the small smile that forms thinking about the world changing discovery of Latkes. And finding out, much to his surprise, that Simon is actually really fucking funny. He thinks about finding his letterman jacket carefully hung up in Simon’s messy closet and even ‘Lucinda’. _What a stupid name for a minivan._ He chuckles to himself fondly.   
  
“It went pretty well. He didn’t completely nerd-out and annoy me. He was actually able to help me understand some shit. And I didn’t have to kick his ass. So I suppose it was...good.” His smile grows as he remembers just how frustrated Simon would get with him. “Great in fact.”   
  
There is silence between them for a few minutes. Clary is the one that eventually breaks it, “Listen. Jace, can we please talk...about _us_ ?”   
  
He lets out a shaky breath, he knows they can’t ignore this forever. He knows Clary feels that something has changed. She _has_ too. He takes a deep breath as he steels himself for the conversation, rapidly building up walls that Clary herself had broken down all those months ago. 

“Ok,” he nods sternly. “Let’s talk.”  
  
Clary seems slightly off-put by the abrupt change in his demeanour. “Uh, ok,” she says slowly. “Jace, what’s going on? The last couple months it’s like we’ve grown apart. I know, I _know_ , you still care about me. You invited Simon to your game even though I wasn’t going to be there. You apparently accepted his help in Chemistry. Something that is, frankly, way out of character for you. You’re making an effort to bury the hatchet with him and I know you’re doing it because I asked you guys too.” Her lips twitch into a small, fond smile.   
  
“I know you wouldn’t do those things if you didn’t care, Jace. You’re not exactly warm and fuzzy like that.” She looks down at the carpet, no longer able to look at him. “I’m confused by you.”   
  
Jace scoffs and chuckles to himself but there is no humour in it. “You’re confused? Fuck, Clary! You have no idea, _no idea_ , how goddamn confusing it is to have these feelings that are so conflicting. I know I love you, but the thought of being with you...Clary, I-I…” He growls in frustration. He can feel the tears stinging his eyes, threatening to spill once more, but he won’t let that happen this time. Instead he moves to lift her head up by placing two fingers gently under her chin. He forces himself to look her in the eyes as he continues, “Clary, I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. And it’s scary as hell, it always has been. But I-I don’t think I’m _in love_ with you anymore.”   
  
Clary whimpers and yanks her head away from his touch as tears begin streaming down her face. “I don’t know what to do with this.” She whispers, barely audible. 

  
“I don’t either Clary.” His tone is soft, gentle. He hesitantly takes one of her hands between his two large calloused ones. To his surprise she doesn’t pull away this time. She is so small, delicate, _beautiful_ . Not for the first time Jace is mentally kicking himself for not being able to love her the way she deserves. The way he knows he _should_ . And he doesn’t know why, or how, or even when it happened. But it did, and he’s fought it for weeks. He fought himself until he was black and blue on the inside, trying to make himself feel attracted to her like he knows he should. But there is no changing it. Clary is someone he will always love and cherish. _A sister_. 

They sit there for a long time. Jace isn’t sure how long exactly, he doesn’t really care. He’s too drained at this point. Clary’s sobs are the only sound in the room. Eventually she sucks in a sharp breath and clears her throat, pulling her hand away to wipe her eyes before turning to face him once more.   
  
“So, this is it huh?” She looks deep into his bicolored eyes and he sees sorrow, longing.   
  
He swallows and nods sharply. “Yeah, I guess so.” He pauses for a moment before jumping back in, “Clary, I don’t want to lose you. I need you to know that. But I also don’t want to hurt you anymore. I want you in my life. If you’ll have me... as your friend. If you - if you need time, I understand. Just, consider it? Please?” He pleads. 

  
Clary just blinks and stares back, lost in thought. She nods, shakily. “I, uh-” her voice breaks, “I don’t want to lose you either. I think we can be friends. I mean, I’m sure we can. I-I just need some time...ok?”   
  
Jace nods rapidly and allows a hesitant smile to cross his face. “Yes. Yes, of course! Uh, whatever you need.” A thought pops in his brain then, “Uh, can we still like, hang out together at school. With everyone else around I mean?”   
  
“Yeah, yes, as a group sure.” Clary lets out an exhausted sigh. “I guess now we have to let everyone know. I’ve been a crappy friend to Simon lately. Hopefully now he will understand why.” She looks at Jace with consideration. “We should say it was a mutual thing. I don’t want to risk Simon becoming even more protective than he already is if we were to tell him the whole truth. If we are going to be friends that still means Simon is going to be there and you guys should still learn to get along. I’m not putting up with your guys bullshit anymore if we aren’t dating.”   
  
Jace hadn’t quite thought of that. Telling their friends and family they are no longer dating and having to deal with all the inevitable questions isn’t exactly something Jace wants to deal with. The guys on the team aren’t going to understand, they’ll probably be dicks about it. And Simon, well he’s sure Simon is going to be just fucking _thrilled_ ! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once more for all your support, kudos, comments and feedback. It means a lot to me!
> 
> In the next chapter:  
> Enter Magnus, and maybe, just maybe, the birth of Malec ;)


	5. Alec Hates Almost Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon makes a mistake.  
> Izzy kicks, hard.  
> A glittery mystery needs to be solved.  
> And someone has a crush on Alec.
> 
> Yep, still don't know how to write summaries. So here we are lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have some explaining to do. I still am not 100% sure what each chapter is going to be filled with, but I have a much better idea now and I so have a basic story line now. I know, shocker! Still, if you guys have any feedback, or if you have anything you'd like to see happen in future chapters, please let me know and I will do my best to see to it! :)
> 
> Thanks for all the continued support! I am loving this process and loving hearing from y'all. 
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

Simon is  _ not _ thrilled. In fact, he’s kind of freaking out right now. Clary had sent him a very cryptic text just before the lunch bell rang instructing him to meet her in the cafeteria at the table usually occupied by the Lightwood siblings. And occasionally members of both the football and archery teams, but he’s sure Clary wouldn’t set him up for an ambush. Jace on the other hand, well, he’s still not sure. He had a bad feeling about this, and his gut was  _ never _ wrong. Except for, you know, all the times it was, but we don’t mention those. 

Simon makes his way down the main stairwell that leads into the center of the cafeteria. He looks down to the right and he can see Clary and Jace, as well as Alec and Izzy already at the table. He frowns when he notices how anxious Clary is acting. She’s twirling her hair around her fingers in an ‘S’ pattern, a tell-tale sign that she is stressing out about something. Jace stands next to her and he doesn’t look a whole lot better, his normal cocksure persona gone. No trademark smirk. Instead, he just looks exhausted, shoulders slumped downward slightly. No, Simon doesn’t like this one bit.    
  
He makes his way through the crowds of loud teenagers, eyes fixed on Clary. As he gets closer he can see that Clary’s eyes are slightly red and the skin around them is puffy despite the copious amounts of concealer she has used in attempt to hide it all away. And now Simon is truly worried, he can feel his nerves firing under his skin, causing goosebumps.  _ Shit. Shit! This is something big.  _

By the time he reaches the table, in typical Simon fashion, he has devolved into a jittering spaz. His mind is running a mile a minute, firing through all the possible situations and reasons why Clary would have wanted to gather everyone here. Apparently the nerves have gotten the better of him because as soon as he sits down in the spot beside Alec he blurts out, “I swear to Raziel, this better be a break-up or something, because I don’t think I could handle finding out you’re pregnant. I’m too young to be an uncle!” His eyes go wide as dinner plates as soon as the words leave his lips. The same look is mirrored by Jace who now seems to be choking on air.   
  
Clary winces and an involuntary whimper escapes her mouth. She stares at Simon with a hurt look on her face, tears forming behind her lashes. Her bottom lip quivers and the corners of her mouth quirk down. Simon knows he just fucked up and it kills him that he might have just ripped open an already bleeding wound.  _ Oh shit. What have I done? _

Izzy seems to clue in instantly and reaches across the table to punch Simon on the shoulder. Hard. “What the hell Simon!?” 

Alec, who usually oscillates between stoic and apathetic quickly follows up, “Yeah, what is wrong with you?”   
  
Simon’s eyes dart between everyone rapidly before finally settling on Clary again. “Wait...wait- no! No, nononononono.” He’s shaking his head so fast it’s a miracle he doesn’t give himself whiplash. “I-I, shit! I didn’t know! How could I have known!?” The hurt look on Clary’s face breaks him, especially knowing he’s partially to blame for it.    
  
And now he is reminded of his hatred for Jace. Now, he is pissed.  _ Jace!  _ That cocky, narcissistic, blonde lothario! Clearly this is his fault. And to think, he invited him into his house. His mom gave him latkes! Well, never again. Nope.    
  
Simon’s head whips over to stare daggers at the blonde prick and as soon as their eyes meet, he sees red. “You! What did you do?!” Before Jace has a chance to answer, Simon is fumbling clumsily to stand, intent on defending his best friends honor. Alec reaches up and with one hand now on his shoulder, forcefully pulls Simon to sit back down.  _ Note to self: never arm wrestle with Alec.  _   
  
Jace has his hands up in surrender. Simon looks him dead in the eye, searching for something, maybe guilt or shame. He is honestly a little shocked when he finds it in those mesmerising heterochromatic eyes. His anger falters when he finds something else.  _ Sorrow. _ Jace, who is normally so cocky it makes him unreadable, now looks like he is being tormented within the prison of his own mind. No effort has been made to hide his emotions and seeing Jace so raw causes Simon’s heart to throb.    
  
Clary cuts in, making her best attempt to pull herself together, “Simon, calm down! It- it’s not his fault. It was… a mutual decision. We… just grew apart.” She has a look in her eyes that, after years of being her best friend, Simon can recognize her as serious. This does explain a lot. Her recent moody behaviour and wanting to withdraw.  _ Why didn’t she confide in me? _   
  
“Oh hunnies! It’s ok. It happens. And we are here for you!” Izzy has a sympathetic look on her face as she reaches out and takes one of Clary’s hands gently in her own manicured ones. Clary’s expression softens at this and Simon is very thankful.    
  
“What’s this ‘we’ business? I didn’t sign up for any of...  _ this. _ ” Alec deadpans, gesturing to the whole table. 

Before anyone can say anything Simon feels a wicked sharp pain just below his knee. “Ow! What the hell did I do now?!” He yelps.    
  
“Oh, damn! Sorry.” Izzy croons and gives him an apologetic look. “That was meant for Alec.” Her expression shifts back to mild irritation as her eyes dart to her brother. Alec scrambles to get up out of the way in time, knowing what’s coming. He’s too late and now it’s his turn to yelp.  _ Note to self: never kickbox with Izzy.  _

“Hey!” Jace barks in exasperation. “Seriously guys! This hasn’t been easy and we didn’t make this decision lightly.” He looks at Clary, who offers a small nod of support. “We are still friends. So can we all just… I dunno, be friendly?” He sighs deeply. So deeply in fact he seems to deflate and he finally sits down beside Clary, the last of his resolve seemingly crumbling.    
  
An awkward silence falls over the table, and frankly, Simon can’t handle awkward silences. It’s a serious moment, he  _ knows _ this, but it’s  _ Simon _ and he can’t stop the jitters from starting. His eyes dart around and eventually land on Alec’s plastic bottle of water. Without thinking, Simon quickly reaches over and grabs the bottle of water only to hold it up in front of him in a toast. “To friends!” 

Alec looks at him with disgust and snatches the bottle back away from him. “What is wrong with you?” 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The next couple of weeks are…  _ different.  _ Clary doesn’t seem as lost or on edge as before, but she is withdrawn. Her normal bubbly personality subdued. Simon tries repeatedly to drag her out of herself again. But movie nights are now largely filled with Simon’s one sided conversations.  _ Desperate ramblings, really. _ And mostly uneaten popcorn. 

When he first learned of their breakup he thought he might feel relief. Maybe even hope. Hope that maybe now they could go back to being Clary and Simon.  _ The dynamic duo!  _ But instead he feels regret and a little bit of shame for not acting like the good best friend she needs right now. Instead of focusing on being there for her and helping her navigate the emotional minefield in a post-Jace world, he’s been focusing on his secret feelings for her and how their breakup can benefit him. These feelings are made even worse when he thinks of Jace and how kind the guy can be. Sure, he may be a bit of an arrogant asshole at the best of times, but his heart is in the right place. Usually. And seeing Jace so clearly struggling really makes it hit home just how deeply the guy must feel for Clary. Simon gets it, really he does. 

Jace spends most of his time by himself on the practise field or going over plays for upcoming games with Coach Garroway and the team. When he is dragged against his will, courtesy of Izzy, to socialize during lunch breaks, he mostly sits in silence. Apparently brooding is something shared amongst Lightwood men. It’s weird seeing a guy so typically outgoing and charismatic suddenly become so stoic. They have continued their study sessions.  _ Yes, ‘sessions’, not ‘dates’ thank you very much.  _ But the conversation never goes beyond Chemistry and despite Elaine’s offers of various Jewish foods, Jace never stays for dinner.    
  
There has been one strange development that Simon can’t decide how to feel about yet. The two groups have merged together to spend every lunch break together since Clary dropped the bombshell on them. Which Simon has taken to referring to Hiro _ shit _ ma, at least in the privacy of his own head. You can thank Izzy again for this development. She’s the most terrifying person Simon has ever met and no one seemed capable of saying ‘no’ when she insisted Clary and Simon sit at their table.    
  
And here they are, Simon eating his ceasar salad next to Alec, who has taken to pointedly moving his water bottle out of Simon’s reach. Izzy is currently pulling a Simon and rambling on about some tv show about drag queens that she’s been obsessing over. Though he can’t for the life of him figure out what ‘ _ tea’ _ and  _ ‘shade’  _ have to do with a show about drag queens. And he will never be the same after Izzy’s graphic explanation of what  _ ‘tucking’  _ is.

Izzy is excitedly chattering away when a shiny reflection catches his eye at the entrance of the cafeteria. Like a magpie Simon’s head swivels towards the light. He blinks and re-adjusts his glasses, a little bemused by what he sees. What he thought at first might be a disco ball is actually a person. A guy in fact, covered in so many sequins that the sun streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows of the cafeteria causes a dancing light show to reflect around him. It’s mesmerizing, and pretty freaking cool! The guy stops and looks around the cafeteria, no doubt looking for a spot to sit. 

“Who is that dude?” Simon asks absently, interrupting Izzy’s commentary. 

Izzy shoots him a look of annoyance but then follows his line of sight straight to the glittery man. A wide smile crosses her face and she hums approvingly. Izzy smacks Clary’s arm to get her attention and points in the direction of the mystery man. Everyone looks over and it takes no time at all for everyone to catch what the fuss is about. 

“I dunno man. That can’t be comfortable though.” Jace says offhandedly. He nudges Alec who seems too zoned out to notice Jace’s attempt to get his attention. “Alec…” Nothing. “Alec!” He says louder and socks him in the shoulder. 

“Ah, shit Jace! W-What? What?” Alec shakes his head slightly. The guy looks dazed, like he’s just regaining consciousness after being under anesthesia for the last 10 years of his life. Which, after Izzy’s ramblings,  _ fair. _

“You know that guy?” Jace asks, jerking his head towards the human sparkler. 

A light flush blooms on Alec’s pale face. “Huh? What? W-Why would you think I know him?” Simon has never witnessed Alec stumble over his words before. He’s not usually one for conversation but the guy is always so purposeful with his words when he does speak that it amuses Simon to see him seemingly losing his cool for whatever reason.  _ Interesting, we will revisit this later. _

“Well, let’s find out!” Izzy squeals with excitement and claps her hands mischievously. 

“Wait, wait! Izzy no! We don’t even know...” Alec sputters, reaching out to her. Too late, she’s already turned back towards the human disco ball with a big grin and waves her hands to get his attention. Alec slumps back on the bench and slides down under the table as far as his long legs will allow. Which makes for an amusing sight because now he just appears to be the same height as Simon. A moment later the guy notices Izzy’s flailing arms.   
  
He stops and takes a moment to scan the table, seemingly lingering on Alec for a moment before looking back to Izzy and smiling slyly. He then begins to make his way through the crowds toward their table. Next to Simon, Alec lets out a deep groan. 

From afar Simon can tell the guy has his hair gelled up into a fauxhawk and it seems great attention to detail has gone into his outfit.    
  
As he approaches, Simon takes stock of the bedazzled mystery dude. Black Doc Martens standing out starkly against his bright indigo pants that Simon is sure he has to grease his legs to get into. Seriously, he’s never seen pants  _ that _ tight before and for some reason it makes him think about Izzy’s earlier comments about tucking. Shaking off that thought, Simon’s gaze drifts up to the blue sequin dress shirt tucked into the pants.  _ Ugh, there’s that word again.  _ The long sleeves are a different fabric, a very shiny satin in the same color as the sequined torso. Simon is sure the guy has to be breaking some sort of school dress code because every single button is undone save for the two at the very bottom. This causes the guy’s chest to be almost entirely exposed, and honestly, with abs like that,  _ fair. _ The guy also seems to be a big fan of accessorizing because he has on probably 10 different very shiny necklaces of varying length spanning from his collarbones to his bellybutton, and a ring on nearly every finger. Which, he notices, every nail is painted black with what Simon knows (thanks to Clary) to be holographic glitter in the laquer. And now that he has almost reached the table, Simon can see he is wearing jet black kohl liner around his eyes with what appears to be glitter on the inner corners of his lids.  _ Holy shit, the guy looks badass!  _

“Well, hello darlings.” The mystery man purrs in a husky voice as he stops by Izzy, “I hope you don’t mind but you caught my eye and I was quite… curious, to meet you.” He’s speaking to Izzy, but his eyes slide over to Alec as another smile crosses his face.    
  
Izzy excitedly replies, “Oh you little flatterer! Obviously it was  _ you  _ that caught our eyes.” She motions to the table, “Please join us!”    
  
The man takes a quick glance at the table before moving around the opposite side of Izzy, where Alec sits at the end of the bench next to Simon. “I don’t mind if I do, darling.” He drawls. He stops right beside Alec, who at some point has turned as red as a tomato and is staring intently at the food on Clary’s tray. “Mind if I sit here?” The man asks demurely.    
  
Alec’s eyes go wide at the question and after a moment of spluttering he manages an eloquent, “U-uh, um. I-I… there’s no room.” He points out obviously as he is sat at the very end of the bench.    
  
A devilish grin forms on the man’s face. “Oh, darling, it looks like there is  _ plenty _ of room to sit.” His eyes drift down to Alec’s lap and he wiggles his eyebrows.    
  
Alec looks like he is beginning to sweat and he has taken to nervously playing with the skin between his index finger and thumb. He doesn’t respond and Izzy giggles at his obvious discomfort.    
  
The man hums, “Hmm, very well then. But it did look very comfortable.” He winks and makes his way around to sit in the open space beside Clary. He moves with the elegance of a trained dancer and sets his lunch tray down with such grace that Simon finds it utterly fascinating.  _ And enviable.  _ The guy has more elegance in one painted nail than Simon has in his entire body.

Izzy quickly jumps in, “So, what’s your name mysterious stranger? I haven’t seen you here before. Trust me, I would have noticed you.” She says, letting her eyes roam up and down appreciatively.    
  
“High praise coming from a beauty such as yourself.” The man reaches over gracefully and takes Izzy’s hand and brings it to his lips. On the other side of him, Simon can hear Jace groan. The man continues on, “I just transferred here from Edom High to finish out the semester. My name is Magnus,” He glances over at Alec, “but you can call me whatever pleases you.” Alec’s eyes dart away and his previously pink blush grows into a deep crimson. Apparently Alec doesn’t take being flirted with very well.  _ Interesting.  _

  
“Magnus? Really?,” Jace scoffs. “What kind of a name is that?”    
  
“Jace! Be nice!,” Izzy motions to kick him under the table.    
  
“Fuck Izzy! You need to work on your aim!” Simon cries out in pain.    
  
“Oh damn! Sorry again Simon. It’s hard to tell which one of you is which!”    
  
The man,  _ Magnus,  _ shoots Jace a look, “Yes Jack, do be nice.” His words are dripping with condescension. “Oh dear,” Magnus frowns at Jace, “It appears a few stray hairs have broken free. Do you not own a comb?”    
  
Jace instinctively reaches his hands up to smooth his hair back into place, only to find his hair in perfect order. This causes the entire table to laugh, with the exception of Alec who seems to be meer seconds from passing out. Jace huffs indignantly. Simon reaches across the table to highfive Magnus who leaves him hanging with an unimpressed look. 

“Sherlock, is it?” Magnus askes. Simon opens his mouth to correct him but Magnus continues, “you have lettuce on you.” Once again everyone begins to laugh as Simon looks down at himself, and sure enough there it is. He grimaces and picks it off. 

Magnus turns to Clary beside him, “And how about yourself darling, what’s your name?”    
  
Clary offers him probably the brightest smile Simon has seen from her since Hiro _ shit _ ma. “Clarissa, but you can call me Clary, everyone does.”    
  
Magnus hums at this as he takes her hand as he had with Izzy. “Clary. If you don’t mind I think I’ll call you biscuit.”    
  
Clary frowns, confused, “Biscuit?”    
  
He gestures to the biscuit on her tray and Clary giggles. “You know what, I kinda like it.”    
  
Magnus then turns his attention back to Alec across from him. His face seems to have more or less returned to a healthy color but he has somehow slumped down further in his seat in an apparent attempt to disappear from the situation. “And what about you handsome? Got a name?” He purrs flirtatiously. “And perhaps a number?”  _ Oh, this guy is smooth.  _

Alec looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He clears his throat and in a bold move he locks eyes with Magnus. “I-I’m, A-Alec. Uh, Alec Lightwood.” A small, timid smile crosses his face.

“Oh, I am sure there is nothing ‘light’ about it.” Magnus winks. The comment and the gesture causing Alec’s cheeks to flair up once again, “Am I correct to assume Alec is short for  _ Alexander? _ ” he lowers his voice seductively.    
  
Apparently, Alec has completely lost the ability to talk at this point and just nods in confirmation. Izzy must decide it’s time to take pity on him because she interjects, “Alec here is my brother.” She smiles proudly, “As is Jace.” She gestures towards the blonde who seems both pissed off at the new guy sitting at their table, as well as deeply amused by Alec’s discomfort.    
  
A brief look of disbelief crosses Magnus’ face as he glances at Jace. “I should have known you and  _ Alexander  _ were siblings. You share the same gorgeous features.” At this, Izzy’s smile widens as she preens. Alec groans. “It would appear you both stole all the looks in the family.”    
  
Jace shoots him an indigent look, “Hey now! I resent that remark.”    
  
Without missing a beat, Alec murmurs, “No, you resemble that remark.” He says it so quietly Simon almost misses it. When he sees the look of utter betrayal on Jace’s face, he bursts into laughter. Jace huffs again but ultimately stays silent. 

“Jace is adopted but still very much our brother.” Izzy smiles as she clarifies. Magnus seems to understand now and he nods thoughtfully. 

Izzy, Clary and Magnus spend the rest of the break in friendly conversation, Simon occasionally interjecting a quip or two. Jace and Alec have gone back to being the Super Broody Bros; Alec unable to make eye contact with anyone and trying his best to ignore Magnus’ sporadic advances, Jace sits silently with a scowl glued on his face.  _ But hey, at least he isn’t moping anymore. Neither is Clary, come to think of it.  _   
  
A couple minutes before the bell is due to signal them back to class Alec moves to get up. Magnus follows with awe in his eyes as Alec unfolds himself to his full height. “Amazing,” he breathes out, clearly appreciating the sight before him.    
  
Alec’s eyes narrow as he quirks a questioning eyebrow upward.    
  
Magnus offers a warm smile. “The saying ‘tall, dark and handsome’ has never rang more true my dear.” He muses. 

Rolling his eyes, Alec gestures to the rest of the table. “I’m going to head back to my locker.” He braves a look at Magnus, “It was uh… interesting… meeting you.” Alec offers a quick wave as he turns to leave.    
  
“Wait,” Magnus calls after him, Alec stops in his tracks. Magnus turns back to Izzy and the others, “Please excuse me darlings. I too am going to head off. It’s been lovely meeting you all and I hope we can get together again very soon.” He smiles at them before turning his head to glare at Jace. “Jason,” he nods curtly.

Magnus seamlessly stands and looks back to Alec who is standing there, awkwardly staring off out of the tall windows of the cafeteria. “If you don’t mind darling, I’d like to join you.”    
  
“Uh, yeah… ok. Sure.” Alec gulps out. His blush returns as Magnus gently places a hand on his lower back, silently urging him into motion.    
  
“Bye guys! Remember to use protection!” Simon shouts after them, causing Alec to turn and flip him off before disappearing out of sight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are amazing. I just have to start with that. This being my first fic, I didn't know what I was getting into. I still don't fully know what I am doing, but your kind words, feedback and kudos has made this such an enjoyable process. This has made me fall in love with writing and one day, maybe, I might aspire to do something with writing. Who knows. 
> 
> In the mean time, I am loving this. And a lot of that boils down to you guys. So thank you!  
> If you are continuing to enjoy please consider leaving a kudos or a comment. Or both if you're wild and crazy ;)  
> And as always, all feedback is greatly appreciated and taken to heart. It's the only way I can grow and get better. 
> 
> P.S. Next chapter may or may not be some Jimon fluff. ;)
> 
> Anyways, Thanks again!
> 
> Until next time, ciao!  
> -Jessey


	6. Simon Likes Jace?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace needs someone to talk to.   
> The boys have some time to bond.   
> Simon comes to some big realizations.  
> And Simon has some tricks up his sleeve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again!
> 
> Back with another chapter for y'all :)  
> As always thanks for the continued support. I am absolutely loving the comments you guys are leaving and it never fails to put a smile on my face. 
> 
> I wanted to address something really quick. So, full disclosure, I am really bad with technology. Embarrassingly so for a 27 year old. And I am noticing some formatting issues here and there. They are fairly small and easy to miss (I hope), but I am an unabashed perfectionist so I see it all as if it were a neon sign lol. I don't know what happened, I don't know how to fix it. If any of y'all have any ideas on what might be going on and/or how to fix it, please send it my way. I need all the help I can get lol. 
> 
> Anyways, without further ado,   
> Enjoy!

Simon had just tossed his bag into the corner of his room and plopped himself down on his bed, not bothering to remove his converse, when his pocket vibrates indicating an incoming text. He fumbles with the pocket of his jeans as he fishes the phone out. 

**[Jasshole: 3:50pm]**

_ hey. can i come over? _

Simon blinks at the screen for a moment. They hadn’t made plans for a study date today had they? Simon groans when he realizes he used  _ that _ word again. No they definitely hadn’t so why would Jace want to come over? Maybe he wants his jacket back before his game on Friday. That must be it. He isn’t sure why but the thought has him a little disappointed. Suddenly his screen lights up as another text comes in.    
  
**[Jasshole: 3:52pm]**

_ nevermind. just forget i asked. _

_ Huh. _ Now Simon is curious. 

**[Outgoing: 3:53pm]** **  
** _ Sure. No one else is here right now. So we don’t run the risk of an annoying sister barging in while we’re working on Chemistry.  _

Simon sits there for a couple minutes staring blankly at the screen when another message comes through. 

**[Jasshole: 3:55pm]** **  
** _ great. leaving now.  _

And that’s all it takes, 3 words, to trigger Simon’s anxiety.  _ Now?!  _ He’s not sure what he expected but it wasn’t an ASAP kind of thing. In his efforts to get up out of bed as quickly as possible he stumbles over his own feet. Just barely saving himself from landing face down by desperately flailing for the post at the end of his bed. 

By the time the doorbell rings, a mere 10 minutes after Jace’s last text, Simon has managed to get himself changed, his dirty laundry picked up off the floor and a couple scented candles lit that he stole out of Becky’s room. Everytime Jace is set to come over he makes sure to tidy up and spray febreeze in his room, but he may have gone a little too overboard because he’s blown through an entire can already. So candles will have to do.  _ He might be a little neurotic. So what? _

The doorbell rings for a second time when Simon has made it to the front door. He swings it open and Jace is stood before him, in his usual motorcycle gear. It only takes a moment for Simon to notice two things. 1: Every other time Simon has seen him with his helmet off, his hair remains perfect, like it’s been frozen in place with magical hairspray. This time however, his hair is a mess, loose strands falling in his face. It’s incredibly endearing. And sort of...cute.  _ Wait, what? Fucking traitorous brain! _

Shoving that thought away, Simon continues to number 2: Jace looks exhausted. Like he hasn’t slept for 2 weeks straight. And honestly, Simon can’t blame him. He has grey bags under his eyes and his eyelids look like they are weighed down with lead. Jace doesn’t even attempt to put on his cocky persona, nor does he say hello, he just sort of saunters in. 

Simon blinks, still staring at the spot Jace had just stood. He lets out a mildly annoyed sigh and shuts the door behind them. “Uh, hi, make yourself at home.” He rolls his eyes behind Jace’s back. 

“Sorry to just drop in. You don’t mind do you?” Jace says as he takes his shoes off, it’s not really worded like a question. 

Simon has a sarcastic retort on the tip of his tongue when he notices that Jace doesn’t have his bag with him. “Where are your books?”    
  
“Oh, uh, I’m not here for chemistry,” Jace shrugs, his gaze drifting. 

Simon narrows his eyes questioningly, “Ok…” The word drags out as he searches for the next thing to ask. “So, why  _ are _ you here?”    
  


Jace seems to deflate and shakes his head, hair falling in his face again, “I dunno. You know what, this was a stupid idea. I’m just gonna go-” He bends down to start putting his shoes back on when Simon stops him.   
  
“No you’re not,” He reaches out and gently grabs Jace’s arm. He swallows before continuing, “Something’s up. You came here for a reason. So, spill it Herondale.” Simon raises an eyebrow in accusation. 

Jace stands his ground for a moment before relenting, “I honestly don’t know Simon. I-I can’t go to Clary. Alec isn’t exactly good with… feelings. And Izzy will just rub it in my face.” He huffs. 

Simon is struggling to follow and Jace isn’t exactly making a whole lot of sense, “Rub what in your face?”    
  
Jace takes a deep breath, “Coach Garroway is suspending me from the team until after the midterm tests next week. He wants to see my chemistry results before reinstating me.”    
  
Simon’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, “He’s what? But you have a game in two days! He can’t just do that. I-I mean he can. That’s kind of his job, I guess, but… huh?” Simon shakes his head in mild disbelief. “You’ve been doing better in class, I mean, how could you not,  _ I’m  _ your tutor after all.” Simon offers a small grin to Jace, but it’s not well received. Clearing his throat Simon continues, “Ok, so, we need a game plan!” He winces at his own pun as Jace’s frown intensifies.    
  
“Uh huh. Yeah this was a stupid idea.” Jace bends down once again to put his shoes on. Simon quickly darts over and swats the shoe out of Jace’s hand.    
  
“Nononono! I don’t think so. We are going to make sure you ace that midterm and get you back on the team. It’s now my mission to see this happen, or my name isn’t Simon Bunsen Lewis!” He grins widely.    
  
“Your middle name is Bunsen?” Jace makes a face at him, eyebrow quirked up.

Simon’s smile falls, “It was a - it’s a chemistry joke. ‘Bunsen’. As in Robert Bunsen. Oh c’mon Jace! They named the Bunsen Burner after him!” Simon throws his hands up in exasperation.   
  
“I dare you to say Bunsen one more time. Go on, I’ll wait.” Jace deadpans while crossing his arms. His lips quirk up at the corners into a subtle grin, and Simon will take that. _Thank you very much!_   
  
Simon facepalms and sighs heavily, “I can’t get no respect. Not even in my own home.”  
  
“Did you just use a Rodney Dangerfield quote? What year are we living in? 1980?” Jace questions as his grin grows in amusement.   
  
“Oh for - you know who Rodney Dangerfield is but not Robert Bunsen?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, “Just, get upstairs, we’ve got work to do.”  
  
Jace’s smile breaks into a faint chuckle. “I don’t have any of my stuff with me,” His smile stays but his face contorts. He looks unsure, which is not a word associated with Jace Herondale. “I was uh, thinking we could just, I dunno, hangout?”   
  
Simon blinks, “Hangout?” He parrots. 

“Yeah Simon. Hangout.” Jace repeats. “Y’know, like normal people do?”

Simon wasn’t prepared for that.  _ All aboard the anxiety train! One way ticket to Panic City with a stop at Agitation Station.  _ “Uh, yeah. I mean, sure! Hangout! Of course. Yeah, no, we can totally do that. Because we’re buds. Buds hangout. Only, we’re not buds.” Simon scowls at himself as he continues to ramble, “No, we’re not. We - we’re sworn enemies. Yeah. Only we aren’t that anymore are we? Oh god, please stop me! Clary usually interrupts my anxious rants. Once I get going I can’t st-”

Jace puts his hands on either side of Simon’s face, cupping his cheeks. The touch is gentle. Far more gentle than Simon ever thought possible from Jace. It instantly grounds him and he shuts his mouth. Jace is warm and the touch tingles, but it’s so comforting and easy to get lost in. He is horrified to realize his eyes have fluttered shut and he has nuzzled into the touch ever so slightly. A quiet hum of approval leaves his lips. When his eyes snap back open at this realization, he is met with Jace staring back at him with a look Simon can’t quite place. Fondness maybe?  _ No, that can’t be right.  _

Before he has time to spiral further down the anxiety rabbit hole Jace removes his hands and suddenly Simon feels cold. “You talk too much.”   
  


Simon swallows thickly, “I, uh, yeah.”    
  
“So,” Jace looks at him pointedly, “No one else is here?”   
  
Simon shakes his head and does his best to compose himself, “Uh, n-no. Just me. Mom had to stay late at the office and Becky’s at some college party. So uh, just us. You and me. Yep.” He pops the last ‘p’ and rocks on his heels nervously.

Jace nods slowly, “Cool. So, movie?”    
  
Simon perks up at the suggestion. A thought pops into his head and he nods excitedly, “Oh! I’ve got the new Star Wars on my hard drive. I’ve already seen it a few times, but it just gets better the more you watch it.” He suggests with a toothy smile. 

Jace frowns at that and looks away bashfully, “I’ve never seen any of the movies. Never got the appeal.”   
  
Simon lets out a gasp of horror, “Dear lord, it’s worse than I thought!” Mind made up he grabs Jace by the arm and forcefully tugs him up the stairs to his room. “‘Never seen the movies.’ ‘Never got the appeal.’” He repeats mockingly, “Listen here Herondale, we are righting a wrong today. Let it be known that Simon Lewis is corrupting Jace Herondale. You will join the dark side, and you will like it!” He shoves Jace down on the bed before flitting over to his laptop and projector.    
  
“I thought it was Simon  _ ‘Bunsen’ _ Lewis,” Jace teases as he makes himself more comfortable on the bed. Simon turns to shoot him an annoyed look when his brain short circuits. Jace has sprawled out on his bed, propped up in a relaxed sitting position against the headboard. Seeing Jace like this, in  _ his _ bed is enough to make his brain go blank.  _ Why? He still isn’t completely sure, but he’s beginning to put the puzzle pieces together. _ Jace has discarded his leather jacket carelessly on the floor beside his bed, and Jace’s torso is clad in just a white v-neck shirt that is even tighter than the last time he saw him like this. If that is even possible. Once again the tattoos on Jace’s body are faintly visible through the stretched fabric. This time however, Simon notices how the fabric gathers just under his pecs and in the crevasses between his abs. And this,  _ this _ is what makes his mouth go dry.    
  
“What?” Jace asks when he notices Simon has been staring for god knows how long. This breaks Simon out of his reverie and he closes his mouth.  _ How long was my mouth open for?!  _   
  
Simon quickly breaks his gaze and forcefully locks away all the thoughts running wild in his head. “Uh, I-I…” He swallows thickly. “Popcorn!?” He shouts.  _ Smooth.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Jace gives him a look of concern but nods with a smile, “Sure.”    
  
When Simon gets back he finds Jace looking around the room. Something he notices Jace seems to do a lot. This time he is sniffing one of the candles he had lit earlier.    
  
“Please, get closer. I’d love to see you turn into the Human Torch.”    
  
Jace jumps and whips around to see Simon with a huge bowl of popcorn in his hands. “Nah. I’m hot enough already as it is.” He shoots Simon his cocky grin. “The candles are a  _ romantic _ touch though. Did you do this for me?”    
  
Simon can feel the heat creeping up his neck and he rolls his eyes. “Shut up. With the amount of hairspray you use I’m surprised you haven’t already caught fire.” He plops down on the bed and puts the popcorn in the middle. “Ready?”    
  
Jace nods and lays back down on the other side of the bed.  _ Clary’s side,  _ his brain supplies. For a second he stares at Jace again. He’s not sure what compels him, but once again his body betrays him and before he can do anything about it his hand is brushing a fallen strand of hair off of Jace’s forehead, tucking it behind his ear. Just as he thought, Jace’s hair seems impossibly soft and for a millisecond Simon is hit with the urge to bury his hands in it. It would be a shame if it ever did catch fire. It’s only when he realizes that Jace isn’t pulling away that he freezes.    
  
“Simon. The movie?”    
  
Simon removes his hand quickly. “Oh, yeah. Right. Um, buckle up!”   
  


* * *

Simon made the executive decision that they needed to start with the original movie because Jace had never seen any of them. It’s the  _ only _ way to watch them really. It takes them over 2 hours to get through it all because Simon had to pause every time Jace asked a question or made a snarky comment about the 1970’s special effects. Normally he would find this infuriating, but he’s seen the movie enough times, and Jace seems legitimately interested, although deeply confused and Simon finds it all incredibly endearing. By the end of the movie Jace has even more questions and Simon decides it’s best that they watch the next one.    
  
It’s just after 11:00pm when they finish the original trilogy. Eventually Jace’s constant questions became less and less frequent and Simon could tell he was really getting into it. Some time during the second movie they had ordered pizza, only venturing out of the dark room to get it from the delivery guy.    
  
“So that was… something.” Jace offers. “What was with the incest story line?”    
  
“Oh, it’s definitely problematic.” Simon laughs.    
  
For a while there is a silence between them, they just lay there. They stay there like that for a few minutes until Jace finally breaks the silence.    
  
“You should go for it.”    
  
Simons brows knit together in confusion, “Go for what?”   
  
“Clary,” he replies simply, turning to make eye contact with Simon.    
  
Simon takes in a sharp breath, but it doesn’t go down right and he ends up coughing. Eventually he’s composed enough to continue, “I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” His voice comes out strangled.    
  
Jace offers a small smile, but it’s a pained one, “Yes you do. Simon, I’ve seen the way you look at her. You like her. So, go for it.” He says it like it’s the simplest thing on Earth.    
  
Simon whips his head side to side, “No, nope. No. You guys  _ just _ broke up. I-I can’t do that! I’ve been a shitty friend lately and that would be a dick move. Besides, she’s my best friend. And that works. It works for us. We could never be more, it would ruin things.” He frowns.    
  
Jace looks him straight in the eye, “Do you love her?”   
  
And that’s a question he’s been asking himself for years. When Clary and Jace started dating and it appeared that it could be a serious thing, Simon kind of gave up. He knew he couldn’t compete with Jace, so why bother? Simon was no competition. Up until this very moment he hadn’t really let himself think about the possibility of being with Clary anymore, not seriously anyway. Looking into Jace’s eyes in this moment he thinks of Clary, tries to put a name to what he feels for her. It is love. He’s certain of that. But as he stares into Jace’s gentle eyes he comes to a realization. 

“Yes,” Simon answers honestly, “But, I’m not  _ in love _ with her.” And if he wasn’t certain of this before, the power of saying those words out loud solidifies the truth. The words come out so honestly and he finds them so easily that it seems almost unthinkable that the opposite was ever the case. 

“Oh.”

A smile slowly crosses Simon’s face, “Yeah, ‘oh’.” And suddenly he is giggling. He’s not sure why, but honestly he gave up trying to make sense of why his body does anything long ago.    
  
A silence falls over them again and they turn to lay on their backs. Staring at the ceiling. Simon’s not sure how much time passes but eventually he hears Jace yawn.    
  
“I should get going.” Jace’s voice is gruff and the exhaustion seeps through every syllable. “It’s getting late.” He doesn’t make any effort to move however.    
  
“You could stay over.” The words leave Simon's mouth before he has a chance to process them. He freezes.    
  
Simon can feel Jace turn to look at him, but he can’t find the courage to look back. “I want to.” Jace whispers, quiet and unsteady. The admittance makes Simon’s heart skip. Jace clears his throat, “But it’s a school night, I don’t wanna get up early just to head home and change before class.” And with that he is moving to get up.    
  
“Makes sense.”   
  
Jace slips his jacket back on and Simon secretly mourns the loss of the white v-neck.  _ Something else to add to the growing pile of things to unpack. Sure why not!  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Thanks,” Jace blurts suddenly. “For being a friend. For the movies, the pizza. Just, yeah.”   
  
Simon smiles at him, a little shocked to hear an actual ‘thanks’ from  _ the _ Jace Herondale. “You’re, uh, welcome.”    
  
Once they are back downstairs and Jace is putting on his shoes Simon has a thought.    
  
“Hey so, maybe a sore subject, but I have a gig at Java Jones on Friday, and I was thinking… you know, since you no longer have a game that day, well I was thinking you should come. We could come back after and work on that chemistry game plan.” Simon swallows his nerves. “I-If you want. If not that’s cool too…”   
  
Jace blinks at him for a second before a smile breaks on his face. “Sure, sounds fun. I’ll be there.”   
  
“Oh. Yeah, cool. Cool.”  _ Yeah not playing it cool.  _   
  
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again Si.” Jace gives him a three-finger salute and then he’s gone. 

When Simon is back in bed that night he goes through the events of the evening. Daring to unpack all the baggage he’s tried to store away over the last few weeks. He rolls over and stares at the spot Jace was once laying. He reaches for the pillow Jace used. Holding it in his arms for a moment, he hesitantly brings it to his nose and inhales.  _ Musk and vanilla _ . The same scent that’s on the letterman jacket still hung in his closet. The smell is unmistakably Jace and it’s undeniably comforting. 

He realizes two things that night. Two things that shake him. The first thing is he isn’t in love with Clary. He’s not sure when that happened, but it did. And instead of feeling lost like he thought he might, instead he feels overwhelming relief. And up until tonight he’s never even considered the possibility of loving someone else. 

The second realization is almost just as surprising to him. He’s actually grown fond of Jace. He wouldn’t say they are exactly friends, yet. But they aren’t the sworn enemies they once were. And now that Simon isn’t hung up on Clary anymore the jealousy is gone. Shockingly the more he talks to Jace the more he  _ wants  _ to talk to Jace. He likes making Jace smile, making him laugh. He wants more of that. 

It’s in this moment he makes a commitment to himself. Not only is he going to make sure Jace passes his midterm so he can be reinstated with the team, but he is going to do everything in his power to be a good friend to Jace Herondale, for real. And he has a few tricks up his sleeve. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! 
> 
> Did y'all enjoy their little movie night? I know I did! These silly boys, they need to get a clue, and fast! Or else I'm gonna rage at them myself. 
> 
> Anyways, as always thank you for any and all comments, kudos, feedback, etc... It means the world to me!   
> Please consider leaving a comment with feedback on what you liked, what you didn't like, what worked, what didn't. Or let me know what you'd like to see in future chapters :) This is the best way for me to learn and grow and get better. 
> 
> Until next time, Caio!  
> -Jessey


	7. Jace Hates Ducks. Or. Simon Likes Jace PT:2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Determined to forge a deeper friendship with Jace, Simon shows up with a surprise for him. During an evening together laughs are shared, secrets are discovered, a confrontation is had and one very important realization is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! 
> 
> Sorry I've been a couple days behind posting this, but I tried to make up for that with the sheer length of it. That's right, this bad boy is nearly 6200 words of pure Jimon adventure! 
> 
> Trigger Warning: At one point Simon is nearly assaulted. It's a quick scene and not very in depth, but I feel the need to place a trigger warning just in case. 
> 
> The vase majority of this chapter is fluff with a few little discoveries peppered in along the way. 
> 
> As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support on this fic! Going into this, especially being my first fic, I never thought I would get this far. But y'all keep me motivated to keep going and see where this goes. So thank you!
> 
> Now, without further ado, Enjoy!

Jace is deep in thought. He knows he should be studying but all he can think about is the events of yesterday. His conversation with Coach Garroway, more of a lecture really. Despite Jace’s improvements in class, all thanks to Simon, Mr. Rey was still not happy. He knew there was nothing he could do or say to change the coach’s mind. Why bother, he knew he fucked up. In fact, he’s been doing that a lot lately. Just one big cluster fuck of mistakes, poor decisions and hurt feelings. There are only so many times he can chastise himself before he’s been worn raw. Then there was the human rhinestone,  _ Magnus.  _ The guy had crash landed into their lives and seemed hell bent on antagonizing Jace. Magnus is all sass and show, sarcastic quips and good looks.  _ Sound familiar?  _ Yeah, that’s basically Jace’s M.O. He does find endless amusement in watching the guy flirt relentlessly with his brother, however. Poor Alec doesn’t even know what hit him. Or hit  _ on _ him in this case.    
  
Chuckling to himself, his mind drifts to Simon. Mother of God the guy doesn’t know how to shut up, and his awkwardness is potentially the most cringe worthy thing Jace has ever experienced.  _ Except maybe watching Luke and Leia kiss. That’s just fucked up.  _ But the dork has grown on him. Simon used to be abrasive and guarded. Hovering around Clary like a lost puppy, and as misguidedly protective as a chihuahua.  _ Goddamn annoying is what it was.  _ But ever since they began this whole tutoring arrangement, Jace has started to see another side of Simon. A whole different person really. He’s surprised, pleasantly so, to find that he kind of likes the guy. As hopeless as he is. And honestly, Jace has really started to enjoy spending time with him. Likes seeing that stupid toothy smile and hearing that dopey laugh of his. The nerd has a certain charm to him, which is surprising as hell. The thought makes something inside him warm fondly.    
  
Almost as if his thoughts summoned him, Jace’s phone begins to vibrate with an incoming call on his bedside table. He lazily rolls over and looks at the lit screen. The caller ID reads “SIMON SOLO.”

  
“What do you want Lewis?” Jace says shortly, answering the phone.    
  
“Ayeeeeeee! Jace, my man! Wuzzup?” Simon sounds weirder than usual. 

“I’m not ‘your man’. Also, I’m hanging up now.” Jace pulls the phone away from his face and is about to do just that when Simon screeches frantically.    
  
“Waitwaitwait! Don’t hang up man.” Jace brings the phone back to his ear, rolling his eyes in the process. “I saw that eye roll,” Simon adds.    
  
Jace’s eyes narrow and he takes a moment to look around his room suspiciously. “Where the fuck are you Si?”    
  
He can hear Simon chuckle on the other end. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”    
  
“Yeah, I’m calling the cops now. Goodbye,” Jace deadpans, but doesn’t pull the phone away this time. Silence fills the call for a moment.    
  
“Ha!” Simon calls out, “I knew you wouldn’t do it.”   
  
“Did you just call my bluff?” Jace asks incredulously.    
  
“Yup. Sure did.” Simon sounds way too smug. “Anyway, what are you up to?”   
  
Jace doesn’t know where this is going, and he doesn’t like it. “If you could see me wouldn’t you already know?” There’s a silent pause before he continues with a sigh, “Nothing. I’m doing absolutely fuck all. Why does it matter?”    
  
“Nothing huh?” Simon ignores the question. “Well in that case, buckle up buckaroo the party train is coming for you!”    
  
Jace is thoroughly confused now. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Suddenly the world's most obnoxious horn sounds from outside his bedroom window. It’s a sound he embarrassingly recognizes. “Oh no,” Jace mutters to himself. 

“Oh ho ho yeah!” Simon cheers over the phone.    
  
Jace bolts out of bed and in a moment he is ripping the curtains open. He groans when he sees a far too enthusiastic Simon waving like a lunatic standing next to ‘Lucinda’ in the driveway. Jace lets his forehead fall against the glass. “Did you really stick a Dukes Of Hazzard horn in your van?” He asks, he already knows the answer.    
  
Simon’s toothy smile grows, clearly pleased that Jace gets the reference. “Sure did!”    
  
Jace takes in a deep, calming breath, gathering what little patience he has left in this world. “Why are you here Simon?”

“I’m glad you asked! I’m taking you out. We can let the studying wait another day. For now, we par-tay!” Jace cringes at Simon’s phrasing, but he can’t help the chuckle that escapes him. “Now get in loser, there’s fuckery afoot!”    
  
“Nope.” Jace hangs up abruptly and draws the curtains shut again. He is half way back to his bed when Simon blasts the horn again. He stops dead in his tracks.  _ Ignore it Herondale.  _ Jace wills himself into motion again. He takes one step before the horn sounds again.    
  
Without notice Alec barges into his room, clearly perturbed by the ruckus happening outside. “Who invited nerdferatu?” He asks flatly. 

Alec’s dressed nicer than Jace has seen him in a long time, clean dark denim jeans and a nice navy button down which Alec appears to have been in the middle of buttoning up when the horn sounded.    
  
Jace shrugs noncommittally. The shrug is interrupted by another sounding of the horn and both boys shudder at the noise.    
  
Alec pinches the bridge of his nose, “You know what, it doesn’t matter. Just, get rid of him.” With that he turns and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.    
  
The horn blasts one more time and Jace stomps back over to the window to see a very pleased Simon with one hand held over the steering wheel as if testing Jace.  _ That’s enough of this.  _ He throws open the window. “Ok, I give! Just.. Jesus Christ, stop!” He yells, “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” He doesn’t wait for a response, just slams the window shut, shaking his head. He swears he can hear Simon’s witch cackle through the glass. 

He takes a couple minutes to calm down before dragging himself downstairs. He rounds the corner to the kitchen and is met face-to-face with none other than Simon. Jace has nerves of steel, but he can’t help himself jumping 3 feet in the air. “Ahh holy fuck! How the hell did you get inside?!”

“Calm down big bro. I let him in.”  _ Fucking Izzy. Of course.  _ _  
_ _  
_ She pops up from behind the open refrigerator door like a whack-a-mole.  _ If only I had a mallet.  _ “I couldn’t just leave him outside like a stray dog,” She grins. “Plus I’m sure one more honk of that horn and the neighbours would’ve made a noise complaint.” 

Simon has a shit eating grin on his face and as annoyed as Jace is right now, he can’t help but ease up seeing him smile. He clears his throat and takes a step back when he realizes they are still basically toe to toe. Jace looks over and sees Izzy smiling at them mischievously.    
  
“What are you doing in the fridge Izzy?” He asks pointedly. Izzy is a lot of things, but talented in the kitchen is not one of them. She once made chicken cordon bleu for the family that came out of the oven atomic pink. Two stomach pumps later and an overnight stay in the emergency room for Alec, and it’s become an incident no one will let her live down as the day she nearly committed manslaughter.    
  
“Relax. I’m just getting a glass of water.” She sticks out her tongue indignantly. “See you later Simon.” And with that Izzy struts away.    
  
“FYI, don’t eat anything Izzy cooks. Ever. I won’t give you the details, just trust me on this one.” Simon cocks an eyebrow but doesn’t question it. 

“So,” Jace clears his throat again. They are still standing unnecessarily close. It stifles his breath a little, but he can feel the heat radiating off of Simon and that combined with his goofy smile glues Jace in place. “What’s this about a party?”

Simon’s smile grows even wider, “Oh yeah! So, I was thinking, we need a night out right?” Jace opens his mouth to say  _ ‘no’ _ , but Simon continues before he has the chance, “Right! Leave the worries behind man. Ol’ Simon’s taking you to the Fairground!” He’s so excited and pleased with himself that he’s practically vibrating on the spot. Jace draws his gaze to meet Simon’s. The younger boy’s eyes are practically twinkling with excitement and any protest that was on the tip of Jace’s tongue dies instantly.    
  
“I don’t like clowns,” is all Jace says. 

“Dude, I don’t blame you. I’ve never been the same since I watched ‘IT’. Not the new one though, the original. Tim Curry is freaking terrifying man!” Simon shudders visibly. “Anyway, you ready?”   
  
“Ready for what?” Alec’s voice carries forward before he makes an appearance around the corner, looking completely unimpressed.    
  
“Oh hey Aspen!” Simon greets him with an enthusiastic wave, causing Alec to frown.   
  
“Aspen?” Alec glares at the bespectacled boy.   
  
“Oh yeah, it’s what I’ve decided to call you now. Aspen. Y’know, like the tree?” Simon smirks at him. 

Alec looks so fucking confused, and honestly so is Jace.  _ What is happening? _

“Why?” Alec asks suspiciously. 

“Because you’re as tall as a friggin’ tree man!” Simon supplies, like it’s the most obvious thing. And really, it does kind of make sense. “A tree that a certain human disco ball would like to climb.” Simon adds cheekily, waggling his eyebrows.    
  
Alec’s face instantly drops as he begins to blush profusely causing Jace to break out into laughter. “Don’t,” Alec sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Don’t ever call me that again.”    
  
“C’mon man! It’s a good nickname! Plus, you know I’m right” Simon must have some big balls or a death wish because he punches Alec in the arm and smiles playfully as if to emphasize his point.    
  
Alec jerks away and scowls at him in a mix of shock and disgust. “Why are you like this?” He deadpans. Jace wipes a tear from his face as he continues to chuckle. Alec, clearly done with this whole encounter, just stares daggers at both of them. “Screw you both. I’m heading out anyway. Don’t wait up.” He turns on his heel and leaves the way he came. 

“Bye Axelwood!” Simon calls out.

Once he’s out of earshot, Jace and Simon look at each other and that’s all it takes for them both to crumble into laughter.    
  
“So,” Simon begins, fighting to control his giggles, “we should get going.” Jace nods, grin plastered to his face. 

The two of them make their way out of the house and out onto the driveway. Simon, clearly anxious to get going, makes a beeline for the van.    
  
“Oh no, I don’t think so,” Jace scoffs, turning towards the garage. “We’re taking the bike, I’ll get you an extra helmet.”

Simon involuntarily makes a panicked noise, “Uh, no offence Jace, but I don’t exactly trust you, or the bike. Or you on a bike. Or me on a bike with you. Any combination of the above really.”    
  
Jace stops and looks at him with a hurt expression. “Well, full offence Simon, I don’t exactly trust… that.” He gestures to the van.    
  
“Oh, I assure you, Lucinda is reliable and trustworthy! She rides like a dream.” Simon slaps the hood to help make his point. 

  
Jace, not one to pass up an opportunity to mess with someone, sees his chance to screw with Simon a little. A smirk slowly forms on his face. “I’m sure she’s one hell of a ride.” His voice drops seductively as he saunters over to the van, stopping in front of the grille. “Isn’t that right baby? I’m sure you just love it when Simon’s inside you.” He’s speaking to the van directly now, but he’s starting right at Simon, holding his gaze the entire time. Jace begins to grind his hips slowly in the direction of the vehicle. He notices Simon’s throat bob as the younger boy turns red. 

Encouraged by this reaction, Jace continues, “I bet Simon drives you hard doesn’t he? What’s that? Oh he does, does he? Oh, he doesn’t change your oil? That’s nasty! I bet you like it nasty huh?” Jace smacks the hood this time and Simon is now the exact color of a tomato and he’s chewing his bottom lip,  _ hard _ . It’s a look that Jace is deeply pleased to have caused.    
  
“O-Ok, alright, that’s enough!” Simon screeches. “P-Please stop defiling Lucinda! She’s a classy lady!”    
  
Jace laughs and turns his attention back to the van. “I gotta go baby. I’m sure Simon’s a good ride, but I’m better. I’ll call you.” He winks.    
  
“You’re n-not allowed within 5 feet of her anymore. I-I’m going to have to take her to the car wash after that display. And possibly beach my brain.” Simon laments.    
  
“What a shame. Whatever will I do now that I can no longer be with my one true love?” He smiles coyly at Simon and chuckles at the younger boys growing agitation. “Glad to be of service.” With one last swish of his hips, Jace blows a kiss to the van and then is off to the garage to grab an extra helmet. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Simon is shaken and disturbed.  _ And maybe a little turned on.  _ Jace’s little mating dance was… well it was something. And now he has to get on the back of a motorcycle with him.  _ This is how I die. Yep, this is it.  _   
  
Jace hands him the extra helmet. Simon watches in mild fascination as Jace effortlessly mounts the bike and slides the helmet over his blonde hair. In a few moments Simon is going to be on the back of the bike with Jace. Simon swallows dryly as a mild panic creeps over him, freezing him in place. Jace must see the apprehension in his eyes because he reaches out and takes the helmet from Simon. And for a moment he thinks that maybe Jace is taking pity on him. He’s wrong of course. Instead Jace carefully removes his glasses and guides the helmet on Simon’s head. Once in place he slides the glasses back on Simon’s face, the rough skin on his fingers grazing SImon’s skin resulting in goosebumps. 

  
“Get on,” Jace commands. He doesn’t give Simon a chance to object as he flips down his visor and puts the key in the ignition.    
  
Once again Simon’s body betrays his wishes and obeys Jace’s demand. Simon tries,  _ God knows he tries,  _ to hop on the bike gracefully. But in his panicked state he swings his leg over, kicking Jace in the side in the process. “S-Sorry! Sorry!” He stammers. Jace just shakes his head. Trying to balance himself, Simon scootches forward a little bit and wiggles his butt in an attempt to find a good sitting position. He fumbles a little bit but he eventually settles in.  _ Add ‘ability to make getting on a motorcycle awkward’ to my list of hidden talents.  _   
  
Jace, who has just been silently chuckling to himself, must sense Simon calm a bit because he turns the key and the engine roars to life. Simon wasn’t prepared for that and he jumps at the unexpected noise and vibration. “Shit!” he mutters to himself.  _ This really is how I’m going to die. On the back of a motorcycle that isn’t even moving yet. Of course that’s how I go.  _ Suddenly Simon is questioning if being friends with Jace is worth it. __

Jace, the smug bastard has the audacity to laugh. He turns his head and lifts his visor for Simon to see his cocky grin.  _ If he wasn’t so beautiful when he smiles I’d smack that smirk off his face.  _ “You good?” Jace asks.    
  
“Just peachy!” Simon replies sarcastically.    
  
Jace nods, “Good. Now hold on.”    
  
Simon looks down at the bike for something to grab. “To what?”   
  
Jace huffs out a laugh at Simon’s obliviousness. “To me, duh.”   
  
Simon’s eyes widen comically.  _ Of course, that would be logical. That is how a passenger rides a bike after all.  _ How could he overlook this? His panic grows as his heart begins to race.  _ Be cool Simon.  _   
  
Simon nods and awkwardly wraps his arms around Jace’s chest. “Like this,” Jace says, taking hold of Simon’s hands and guiding them down to his waist. “Now lean into my back and hold tight to me ok?”    
  
Nodding again, Simon takes in a shaky breath as he scootches even closer behind Jace. His chest pressed firmly against the taut muscles of Jace’s back. Simon tries not to focus on the heat being exchanged between their bodies and instead focus on his hands. This is of course the wrong choice _.  _ Jace placed his hands low over his abs and Simon can feel every peak and valley of his unfairly toned torso. He is glad for the helmet and visor now, this way Jace can’t turn back and see how his eyes flutter closed, fixated on the feel of the body underneath his hands. If Jace notices Simon squeezing subtly he doesn’t say anything.    
  
“Ok good,” Jace says simply, and then they’re off. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The smell of popcorn, mini donuts and cotton candy wafting through the air hits Simon as soon as they arrive at the fairgrounds. The sun is getting low in the sky but it’s still fairly light out for an evening in early May. Despite this the lights on the rides and amusements shine bright. Loud music and carnies yelling at passersby echo into the ether.    
  
Simon may have fumbled with the grace of a newborn giraffe getting off the motorcycle, but once he found his footing he took in the scene before him. His eyes wide with wonder and excitement. It’s not his first time at the fair, far from it, he might as well have a season pass, but the carnival lights, the sounds, the imagery never fail to trigger his childlike awe. A smile quickly forms as he begins to grow antsy waiting for Jace to lock their helmets away.    
  
“Ok, we’re here. Now what?” Jace asks once he has finished locking up. 

Simon bounces on the balls of his feet giddily. “Well, I was thinking we could get a bite to eat. Oh! Maybe some trashy fair pizza or something. Then, we could browse the vendor shops for a while. There is a petting zoo too. We could pet some goats! Did you know goats have horizontal pupils? First time I noticed that I nearly shit myself! Uh, then we could play some of the games on the midway. Of course they’re rigged so we probably won’t win anything, but it’s still fun trying. Hopefully the carnies don’t yell at me again, they always do that. I guess there’s something about me that makes people just wanna scream. And oh, oh God, I’m rambling again aren’t I? Shit shit… I-”   
  
Just like the first time, Jace gently places his hands on either side of Simon’s face. It’s just as effective at calming him and stopping his rant as before. Simon sighs contentedly as Jace’s warm palms brush over his skin. He gives up trying to resist the urge to lean into the touch, allowing himself to nuzzle closer.  _ He deserves nice things, ok? They’re at the fair. It’s magical damnit! _

  
“Th-thanks,” he breathes out.    
  
Jace smiles warmly, “Don’t mention it.” He slowly drops his hands back to his sides and Simon has to hide a look of remorse at the loss of touch. A look of worry flashes across Jace’s face and he raises an eyebrow. “Are you nervous?” 

Simon furrows his brow, shaking his head, “Uh, no. Why?”   
  
“You were rambling, I thought you only did that when you were nervous?”   
  
Simon nods in understanding, “Oh, yeah. I ramble when I’m nervous, but I also ramble when I’m really excited too. Or when I’m really happy. The words just come out like vomit.” 

  
Jace hums, “Hmm, well you do it a lot.”    
  
“I- yeah.” Simon swallows before changing the subject. “Anyway, let’s go! I wanna get some food, buy some overpriced crap I don’t need and pet some freaky-eyed goats!”    
  
Jace huffs out a quiet laugh, “Sure. Lead the way.” 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


After scarfing down a couple slices of terrible fairground pizza,  _ (which seemed to be just microwaved cardboard with pizza sauce on it),  _ they browsed through some vendor shops. Jace had tried to talk him out of buying a cheesy oversized cowboy hat with a knock-off  _ ‘Batman’ _ symbol emblazoned on the front. But Simon could be a smooth talker when he wanted to be and in the end he walked out with a very satisfied grin on his face, cowboy hat on his head and a matching knock-off  _ ‘Robin’ _ hat on Jace’s. After that, it was off to the petting zoo. Simon vibrated with anticipation as the goat paddock came into view. Jace had nearly fallen on his ass laughing when one of the goats Simon was attempting to take a selfie with spat on the younger boy just in time for it to be caught on camera. That had been enough goats for one day and Simon decided the rabbit exhibit was probably a safer bet.    
  
Simon was busy admiring a particularly rotund rabbit when a loud shriek rang through the building. Whipping around, he searched for the origin of the noise. His eyes darted around momentarily but it didn’t take long before they fell upon the source. Jace had apparently grown bored of the oversized rabbits and wandered further into the building until he unwittingly came across the duck and chick exhibit. The buff blond was trudging quickly back to Simon, face red with embarrassment and horror, body tense. He didn’t even look Simon in the eye as he stormed past him on his way to the exit.    
  
“Let’s go. Now!” Jace roared, leaving no room for argument.    
  
Back outside the building Simon reached out and placed a hand on Jace’s bicep to stop his pace, gently spinning him around to make eye contact.    
  
“What was that all about?” Simon asked quietly.    
  
Jace relaxed slightly at the contact, but he refused to meet Simon’s eyes for more than a second. He muttered something under his breath but Simon couldn’t make out what he said over the cacophony of noises surrounding them.    
  
“What?” Simon questioned.   
  
“I said,” Jace huffed out a deep sigh, “Idontlikeducks.” Jace quickly looked away, cheeks ruddy.    
  
Simon just blinked. Once, twice, before the words settled in his brain. He tried to stifle a laugh, lord knows he tried but it just came out his nose in a rather uncivilized manner. The crude noise was all it took to set him off completely. Simon’s body shook ungainly as he broke into laughter.  _ Jace Herondale, scared of ducks?  _   
  
“Are you done?” Jace barked indignantly.    
  
Simon took off his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes and he tried with valiant effort to suppress his giggles. He tried to make a noise of affirmation, but it came out a mix between giggle and whimper. Sucking in a deep breath he steadied himself.    
  
“Mhmm,” Simon hurried out through tight smiling lips. It was all he could manage without risking further offence to Jace.    
  


Jace narrows his eyes at Simon and without further warning stomps off towards the midway in a huff, grumbling something that sounded a lot like ‘fuck ducks’ to Simon. 

A few minutes later they were walking along the midway gawking at the various games available to them. Naturally every stand they passed had a carnie stationed trying to entice them into spending their money for a chance to win a prize. And naturally every one of them had yelled at Simon specifically when they silently kept walking on.    
  
Eventually they settled on Balloon Pop at Simon’s insistence due to its status as the quintessential carnival game, at least in his own mind. Simon had gone first and made an admirable attempt to pop them all but ultimately failed to pop more than 3.    
  
“I swear they don’t fill the balloon’s with enough air to pop.” Simon muttered under his breath. Next it was Jace’s turn and after resetting, the carnie handed him the darts.    
  
Simon watched in awe as Jace took aim, pulled back and let dart after dart fly, each one hitting (and popping) their intended targets. Simon was gobsmacked.    
  
“Dude, what the hell? How did you do that?” Simon demanded an explanation.    
  
Jace’s trademark smirk made an appearance as he picked out a prize, a small stuffed rabbit which he gives to Simon.  _ ‘For safekeeping’ _ . Jace leans in close to whisper for only Simon to hear. “I’ll let you in on a secret, but you can’t tell anyone ok?” Simon nodded rapidly, eagerly awaiting the answer. “Ok…” Jace leans in further, his lips brushing the outer edge of Simon’s ear, causing the younger boy to shiver involuntarily. “The secret is…” he drops his voice lower, “I’m awesome.” Jace pulls back and chuckles.    
  
“Ha fucking ha!” Simon says sarcastically. “Ok, c’mon, next game.” 

They play a few more games, Ring Toss, Milk Bottles, Whack-A-Mole, all with similar results, Jace usually besting Simon but not achieving the same success as Balloon Pop.   
  
“Oh look, the perfect game for you,” Simon grins impishly as he points to a small game to their right. Jace looks over and a wash of red floods his face instantly. _‘Duck Pond’_ the placard reads. Simon’s in tears, laughter wracking his body as Jace storms away again in response.   
  
They are rounding a corner in the direction of the amusement rides when something glittery catches Simon’s eye in the direction of the Ferris Wheel. Looking up, he catches sight of Magnus at the top of the ride. True to form he seems to be dressed in yet another all sequin ensemble, catching and reflecting the multitude of rainbow lights flashing around the fairgrounds. The lightshow is almost enough for Simon to miss the movement directly beside Magnus on the two-person chair, almost _._   
  
“Oh,” He whispers quietly in surprise. Sat beside Magnus, with his arm draped around him is none other than Alec, looking happier than Simon has ever seen him. In fact he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Alec actually smile before, nothing more than a smirk anyway. Certainly not the crooked toothy grin he’s wearing at the moment sat next to Magnus. _And the plot thickens._

The boys are laughing at something and Alec curls in closer to Magnus. The darker skinned boy takes Alec’s hand in his own, stroking a manicured thumb across the back of his knuckles. And suddenly Simon feels like he is intruding on a very private, yet also daringly public moment. Seeing the two of them so content, so comfortable in each other's presence, it brings about a feeling of longing deep down in the pit of Simon’s stomach. He must be staring quietly for a moment too long because Jace’s voice rings out.    
  
“What?” Jace asks curiously as he tries to follow Simon’s gaze.  _ Fuck, Jace can’t see this, think fast Lewis!  _ _  
_ _  
_ “Think fast!” He yells at Jace before launching the stuffed rabbit at Jace’s face. True to form Simon is a lousy shot and way off the mark forcing Jace to sprint ahead and catch the stuffed animal with effortless grace.  _ That shouldn’t be as impressive as it is.  _ _  
_ _  
_ Jace smiles, another one of his cocky grins, as he strolls cooly back to Simon. “If you wanted to see how well I can catch, you could have just asked.” He drawls out. Simon swallows thickly. The phrasing, though probably innocent enough to Jace, conjures other thoughts in the dark parts of Simon’s brain. 

“Shut up,” Simon manages to squeak out. Clearing his throat he continues, “C’mon, I’m craving some of those mini donuts.”    
  
  


* * *

  
  


“I’ve gotta piss like a racehorse. I’m gonna find a bathroom,” Jace says bluntly.    
  
Simon cringes at the choice of words, “Charming,” he mutters as Jace trots off.    
  
A couple minutes later he is standing aside, waiting for their two orders of mini donuts to come up, when his eyes are suddenly covered by hands.    
  
“Ew Jace! Fucking gross, please tell me you washed tho-” His words die as he whips around to confront Jace but instead he is face to face with a grinning blonde girl. His heart drops into his stomach.  _ Heidi.  _   
  
“Who’s Jace?” She questions pointedly.    
  
Simon chooses to ignore the question and takes a couple cautionary steps back, attempting to gain some distance between himself and the girl.    
  
“W-What are you doing here Heidi?” He asks, carefully diverting the conversation away from her previous question.    
  
Her eyes flash and her grin grows dark hearing Simon’s voice. “Oh, you know, I talked Raphael into coming. I saw you standing here and of course I just  _ had _ to come say hi, so I asked him to go get me some cotton candy. Gives me some alone time with you.” She looks him up and down and stalks forward predatorily, closing the distance between them.    
  
Simon takes another step back and he bumps into the mini donut stand. The cowboy hat falls backwards, held on by only the strap around his neck. With nowhere else to go he freezes.    
  
Heidi leans forward, mere inches from his face, further closing any distance between them “You know, I could always ditch him and we could have some fun on our own.” She says coyly, a wicked edge to her tone.    
  
“Uh, n-no thank you! I’ve told you before I’m n-not interested Heidi.” Simon stutters out. His eyes dart around, searching for a quick exit, but Heidi boxes him in with a hand against the stand on either side of his body.    
  
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” She purrs as she leans closer, bringing her face to his. A broken whimper escapes Simon’s throat when she places a hand on his waist, drifting down, dangerously close to her intended target.    
  
“What the fuck is going on!?” They both jump and Heidi pulls away, turning to face the voice.  _ Jace. _ _  
_ _  
_ Jace has a dark glare set on Heidi and he takes a step closer, forcing her to retreat further away from Simon. 

“I said, What. Is. Going. On?” Jace repeats, slower, louder and more insistent this time.    
  
“Oh, my  _ friend _ and I were just having a little chat. Weren’t we?” She looks at Simon expectantly. 

“I-I-I-” Simon is shaking now, with adrenaline but also with relief. 

Jace closes the gap between them and he places a gentle hand on Simon’s arm while keeping his eyes cautiously trained on Heidi. Simon’s trembling lessens at the warm touch but it does nothing to slow his racing heartbeat, battering his ribcage.    
  
“I think the conversation is over. You should leave.” Jace’s words are laced with venom.    
  
Heidi scoffs as she rolls her eyes, “Yeah? And who the hell are you?”    
  
“I don’t think you heard me,” Jace spits, “leave, now. Before I fucking tell security about your wandering hands. Hmm?”    
  
Her mouth drops open, making an indignant sound. “As if they would believe you!”

Fury flashes in Jace’s eyes and he locks his gaze with Heidi’s, tempting her to challenge him. “Try me.” He mutters gruffly.

They stay locked in a stare down for what seems like an eternity before Heidi finally relents. “Fine, but don’t think for a second that this conversation is over.” She locks eyes with Simon like a tiger stalking its prey before she huffs, taking her leave. 

As soon as she is out of view Jace pulls the still trembling boy into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms protectively around his shoulders. The moment Simon feels Jace’s strong arms cocoon around him he lets out a deep sigh of relief, then the sobs start, his eyes fill with tears as the rush of fear and adrenaline begin to burn off. Jace buries his nose in Simon’s messy brown hair and hushes the boy, whispering reassuring phrases. One hand rubs soft comforting circles into Simon’s back. They stay there like that until their names are finally called for their order. Jace instructs the guy behind the plexiglass to just leave the orders on the counter before returning his attention back to Simon. They don’t break apart until the sobs subside and Simon’s heart rate calms.    
  
“Thank you,” Simon whispers, barely audible. He can't bring himself to meet Jace’s eyes. 

Jace nods, “Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

  
  
They were outside of Simon’s house, Jace insisted upon following Simon home after picking up the van. The ride back had been uneventful and Jace had been kind enough not to ask about Heidi, to which Simon was very thankful. Right now he just wanted to forget his history with her, curl up into a ball in his bed and sleep for 5 lifetimes.    
  
“Here,” Jace pulls the stuffed rabbit out of his back pocket and shoves it into Simon’s hands. “I thought you could use him more than I would. If you need comfort and I can’t be there, well, at least he can be.” Jace smiles warmly.    
  
Simon takes the rabbit, and his heart swells when he finally brings his eyes to meet Jace's for the first time since before Heidi had come along. The gesture warms him from the inside out and his heart thuds hard in his chest. “Thank you, for everything Jace. I, uh, I don’t know what to say.”    
  
Jace gestures to the rabbit, “You should name him,” Jace suggests.    
  
Simon thinks for a moment before the corners of his lips quirk up. “I think I’ve got it.” Jace raises his eyebrows in expectation.    
  
“Duck!” Simon exclaims with a wry smile. Jace cocks his head in confusion before it clicks.    
  
“Fuck you,” He says, but there’s no malice in it. He chuckles at Simon’s choice of name.    
  
They stand there in silence for a few moments before Jace suddenly darts forward, throwing his arms around Simon in the process. Simon melts into the embrace and lets himself inhale the sweet vanilla scent and musk that is completely unique to Jace, allowing himself to be comforted by it. He sighs, both from exhaustion and from contented bliss. Then Jace does something that makes his heart race, he pulls back slightly, cupping Simon’s cheek with one hand. Jace’s thumb ghosts over his cheekbone, his touch so gentle it barely registers on Simon’s skin. The blonde’s eyes are darting back and forth between Simon’s, as if searching for something. He must find whatever he’s looking for because he slowly leans in and places the lightest of kisses on Simon’s forehead. It lasts a fraction of a second, but the sensation lingers and it makes every cell in his body hum.    
  
Jace pulls away abruptly, clearing his throat as he composes himself.    
  
“Take care of yourself ok Simon.” The younger boy nods in affirmation. “Good, I’ll uh, still see you tomorrow. At school and at your show. I’ll make sure to steal some pom-poms from the cheer squad.” Another warm smile makes its home on Jace’s face.    
  
“Yeah, that uh, that sounds good.” Simon squeaks out. “Ride safe.” 

Jace climbs on his bike but hesitates for a moment, “Oh and Simon. Thank you, I had a great time tonight. Y’know, despite everything.” He offers Simon one last smile.    
  
Simon nods and waves Jace off. He slowly drags himself to bed, not bothering to change out of his clothes, tossing the cowboy hat on his desk.    
  
He’s not sure how long he lays there for, lost in thought, it could be hours, days, mere minutes. He pictures Jace’s face earlier that night, that cocky smirk as he popped every balloon, his face red with embarrassment as he fled the duck exhibit, the hateful glare as he confronted Heidi. He can still feel the warmth of Jace’s body as he wrapped him in that protective embrace. Can still feel the lips, like fire, on his forehead. Then he sees Magnus and Alec on that Ferris Wheel together and suddenly it's all too much for Simon. His mind is spinning, lost in a whirlpool of thought. Feelings and desires he had been pushing to the far outer reaches of his mind come rushing forward, breaking through the walls Simon had been building both consciously and subconsciously over the last few weeks. It takes his breath away and his nerves tingle under the surface. With his heart and mind racing a realization hits him like a Mack truck. 

_ I’m totally gone for Jace. Jace fucking Herondale.  _

  
Simon isn’t sure when it happened, it doesn’t really matter when. Doesn’t even matter how.  _ It happened.  _ Tears spring behind his lashes as the thought overwhelms him. He brings Duck to his chest and he curls around the stuffed animal for comfort. He finds that comfort, back in Jace’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS! Dumb boy isn't so dumb anymore! Progress is being made, slowly but surely. I never intended for this to be a slow burn, but alas, here we are! I promise things will start moving faster for these boys from now on. How fast, I'm not sure yet, but it will be faster!
> 
> Just a heads up, with quarantine being lifted where I live, I have been recalled back to work full time, which means no more working from home and not as much opportunity to get writing done. So going forward uploads may be a bit more spread out. I am still going to aim to have a new chapter every week, but I make no promises. Just know that I have no intention of giving up on this fic. In the words of Shania Twain: "I Ain't No Quitter"
> 
> Now, as always, I ask that if you feel so inclined, please feel free to leave a comment or a kudos. The feedback and support is so appreciated and I thank you! 
> 
> Until next time, Caio!  
> -Jessey


	8. Simon Loves Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a much needed heart to heart with Clary before getting ready for his performance at Java Jones. Anxiety runs high as Simon makes the quick decision to be honest the best way he knows how, through music. Meanwhile Jace is concerned with Simon's behaviour until Simon helps him find his own honesty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! 
> 
> It's good to be back with another chapter! I have to be honest, I wasn't sure if I would be able to get another chapter written and uploaded within the week, but by some magical miracle, here we are! 
> 
> This one came surprisingly easily, and I have to toot my own horn for a second: I am super happy and proud with how this one turned out. 
> 
> PS. The song Simon sings in this chapter is “Honest Man” by Ben Platt. I suggest y’all check him out if you haven’t already! 
> 
> So without further ado, enjoy!

“Ok, wait. Let me get this straight. You’re...not?” Clary looks at him carefully. Simon groans at her pun but shrugs in reply. “And you...you like Jace?” Her narrowed eyes are answered by a sheepish nod from Simon. He tries to hide the blush creeping across his face behind his coffee cup as he takes a well timed sip.    
  
Simon had panicked and skipped out of chemistry when he realized, almost too late, that he would be seeing Jace again in class. And that was  _ far _ too soon for Simon’s liking! The events of yesterday had kept him up most of the night tossing and turning. At first he couldn’t get the feeling of Heidi’s hands on his body out of his head. It made his stomach turn. He felt dirty, the kind of dirty that made him want to get in the shower and rub himself with soap until his skin was red and raw. But those thoughts were quickly overshadowed by those of Jace and how angry the blonde had been when he caught Heidi cornering him. How Jace had comforted Simon in the aftermath without a second thought, as if it was the most natural thing to do. The thoughts of Heidi’s hands all over his body were replaced with thoughts of Jace’s hands. Thick, meaty, slightly calloused from years of football, but also impossibly soft and so, so gentle. The way he had used those hands to cup his jaw in an effort to ground him. Those hands clung tight to the back of his shirt as if Simon might float away as Jace enveloped him in a warm embrace. Simon couldn’t stop himself from thinking of those hands elsewhere on his body, how those hands might feel. The startling thing was that Simon didn’t want to stop those thoughts. So he didn’t. The events of yesterday and the realization that came afterwards flooded his mind all morning. And in true Simon Lewis fashion, his anxiety took over and before he knew it he was here, sitting in Java Jones with Clary, having dragged her along without complaint in a frantic state, pouring his heart out to the only person he trusted enough to do so.    
  
“I’m sorry, bare with me here. So you took Jace on a date-”    
  
“Not a date!” Simon interjected.    
  
“Right,” Clary continued, “you took Jace on ‘not a date’ to the fair. He basically knight-in-shining-armoured you from Heidi, which, gross by the way. And now you’re, what? Gay?”

“I-I,” Simon shugged, “I don’t know. I don’t think so? I mean, I’m attracted to girls. I’ve never thought of a guy before, but... _ Jace.” _ He says Jace’s name with such fondness that Clary can’t help but smile at her best friend. Simon clears his throat, feeling his face warm. “I guess I’ve been thinking about him for a while now. Not, uh, normal friend thoughts, but I just ignored them.”   
  
“Until last night?” Clary supplies. Simon nods again.    
  
“Until last night,” he agrees. “I- God, Clary, I don’t know what it means! I-I-I don’t know if I’m gay now. I don’t think I am. Bi maybe? Pan? I’ve never considered it before. I’ve never had too!” Simon is shaking slightly from the adrenaline and anxiety that makes up 90% of his current existence, the other 10% are thoughts of Jace.  _ Ok, maybe lately Jace takes up approximately 100% of his thoughts.  _

He takes a deep breath in and holds it for a few seconds before letting it out. “I’m just Simon ok. Nerdy, awkward, can’t shut up, Star Wars addicted, trips over his own two feet, hopelessly attracted to a dude for the first time...Simon.” 

Clary reaches across the table of their corner booth and grabs Simon’s trembling hand. He looks up at her and is met with that warm smile of hers that he’s become so familiar with over the years. “Simon, it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to. You’re still you. Who you happen to be attracted to doesn’t change that. Whether it’s a girl, guy, alien, unicorn-”   
  
“Gross.” Simon laughs weakly.    
  
“You know what I mean. You are still you, my best friend. I love you Simon.” She squeezes his hand and the corners of Simon’s mouth quirk up a little in response. “Although,” Clary continues, “I have to admit, it’s a little weird that my best friend is into my ex-boyfriend who used to be your arch nemesis. It’s progress I guess. I did ask for you guys to learn to get along. You just took it a step further. But you know, it kind of all makes sense now that I’m thinking about it.”   
  


Simons brows furrowed in confusion, “I don’t know what that means.”   
  
Clary grins, “You will,” she says cryptically, letting go of his hand after one last squeeze. 

Simon takes another sip of his coffee before continuing on. “What am I supposed to do? I mean, I’ve just realized that I like a dude, not just any dude,  _ Jace.  _ He’s my friend, or at least I think he is, it’s still confusing. Anyway, I promised I’d help him with chemistry and make sure he passes midterms next week. I share a class with him Clary! He’s around all the time now, I can’t just avoid him! I-I don’t think I want to avoid him.” Simon looks at her pleadingly, “what do I do Clary?”   
  
Clary hums in consideration, “You do nothing,” she says simply.    
  
Simon shakes his head, “I can’t just do nothing! How am I supposed to act around him now? Things have changed now.”    
  
“You act like you did before. By the sounds of it you’ve been slowly falling for a while now, just because you’ve finally come to this realization doesn’t mean anything changes. You’re still friends, you still tutor him. Besides, you never changed how you acted around me.” Clary grins knowingly. Simon chokes on air at her words. Before he has a chance to question her, Clary continues. 

“Come on, enough with the panicking already! Put on your big boy boxers and let’s head back. You have a show to get ready for.”   
  
Simon’s eyes go wide.  _ The show, the goddamn show. Jace is going to be there, probably front row and center like always. Maybe even with freaking pom-poms. Damn, damn, damn!  _

“Stop it!” Clary scolds, bring Simon back to reality. “Stop that right now, I know you Simon. Stop freaking out. You’ll play one note and you’ll forget about everything else, this will be your escape.”    
  
She’s right of course, she always is. Simon takes in another steading breath. “Nothing changes,” he says to himself. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_ This is your element Lewis. You are a badass with a microphone. You got this! Make this crowd your bitch! Oook too far. _   
  
Simon has calmed down somewhat since his talk with Clary. She was right, after all _ ,  _ and this was his happy place, the stage, the crowd, the music. He busies himself with setting up his equipment on the small stage tucked into a corner of Java Jones. The booth he had shared with Clary earlier that day just a few feet away. That same booth is occupied once again, by Clary. Only now she is joined by a very enthusiastic Izzy who gives Simon a thumbs up as he catches her glance. Next to her is Magnus, looking cool as ever with his hair spiked to perfection, streaks of navy running through it and tasteful makeup to match. Simon is somewhat surprised to see a very bored looking Alec also in attendance. Alec seemed like the kind of guy that probably didn’t even like music.  _ Absolute madness! _

Simon catches the girls laughing at a joke Magnus appears to have made and he sees Alec crack a rare smile, a fondness in his eyes as he looks at Magnus. Alec probably thinks he’s being stealthy about it, shooting quick sideways glances in Magnus’ direction but Simon notices it. He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face as he thinks back to the two boys on the Ferris Wheel, how happy and comfortable they both looked in each other's company, with no one else around to see. Except, Simon had seen it, and he wanted that for himself. His grin falls when he doesn’t see Jace at the booth. Simon hadn’t seen him since they had hugged the night previous and although he was anxiety ridden all day at the thought of seeing him again, he finds himself disappointed not seeing Jace amongst their friends. God he wants to see him. His perfect blonde hair, crooked smirk, beautiful mismatched eyes, Simon wanted to see him so badly it hurts.    
  
“Hey guys! Thanks for coming,” Simon greets his friends with a small smile after he’s finished setting up his equipment.    
  
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world Shmuel,” Magnus smiles. “Always happy to support a starving artist.” 

  
Simon has moved to sit in the spot beside Alec. “Uh, yeah. What he said,” Alec murmurs half-heartedly.    
  
“C’mon big bro! Be a little more enthusiastic will ya?” Izzy moves to kick him under the table but Simon’s gotten wise. He slides away quickly as Izzy’s heeled boot connects with the bench seat, directly where Simon was just sitting.    
  
“Huzzah!” Simon exclaims triumphantly. “I’ve mastered the skill of evasion,” he grins proudly at Izzy, who appears to be about to say something.    
  
He jumps when he suddenly feels warm arms wrap around his shoulders from behind. He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. Simon knows the feel of those arms around him now, he can recognize the comforting scent of musk and vanilla anywhere. 

“Oh Jesus!” Simon yelps.    
  
“No, Jace, but close enough,” Jace chuckles. “So, evasion huh?” Jace says against his ear as he gives Simon a gentle squeeze. “Is that why you weren’t in class today?”   
  
Goosebumps form on Simon’s skin from the feel of Jace’s breath on his ear. He can feel the treasonous flush bloom across his face. “Oh, uh, n-no!” He stammers out clumsily. “I was uh, I needed to, I mean I had to…” Simon’s cheeks flare as he listens to himself bumble. He turns himself around in Jace’s arms and suddenly they are nose to nose. Simon’s heart rate picks up instantaneously, pounding hard against his ribcage. He’s never seen Jace’s eyes quite this close up before, the blue is exquisite, sparkling like the noon-hour sun reflecting off cresting ocean waves. The brown section of his left eye is like chocolate confection, and Simon finds it all delicious.  _ Send 911! We have an emergency! Heart attack imminent. Clean up on aisle 1 because I think I just flooded my basement. _

The boys seem to realize their close proximity at the same time as they both take a step back in unison. Clearing his throat, Simon tries to continue, fumbling his words, “I-I just wanted to get some practise in for the, uh, for the show. Mhmm, yep.”  _ Smooth Simon. Like sandpaper. _   
  
Jace’s grin grows as he watches Simon fumbling awkwardly. “Relax Simon. I’m not Mr. Rey, I don’t care if you decided to skip class for once,” he chuckles. “Although, I wish you would’ve told me you were gonna skip, it was boring without you.”

The heavens must take pity on Simon because at that moment one of the baristas, Maia, pops up to let him know that he is on in 15 minutes. The cafe is steadily filling to capacity which is a great sign for his set. The more the merrier really. When he is on stage Simon feeds off of the crowd's energy and it gets him pumped. This time though, all he can think about is the fact that Jace will be in the crowd, sitting just feet away, close enough to touch if he wanted to. Sweet heaven almighty, he wants to. The thought makes his anxiety skyrocket and he can’t stop the involuntary jitters that begin to wrack his body.

“Uh, thanks,” Simon nods at Maia and clears his throat as he turns back to his friends. “That’s my cue,” he squeaks.    
  
“Break a leg!” Clary says gleefully.    
  
“Oh yes, that would be entertaining indeed. In fact, don’t hold out on us, break two. I may even be inclined to tip if you do,” Magnus quips. Beside him Alec tries half-heartedly to suppress a snort of laughter causing him to choke and cough.    
  
“You guys are the worst,” Izzy says, shaking her head. “Don’t listen to these assholes Simon, you’ll be great!” She smiles warmly.   
  
Simon swallows thickly as Jace pats him on the shoulder reassuringly, unfortunately it has the opposite effect on Simon. “She’s right,” Jace says, “you’re always amazing up there. No matter what happens we’re here for you Si.” Jace smiles warmly, his eyes gentle.    
  
“T-thanks,” is all Simon can manage to get out without shattering to pieces. “I’m, uh, gonna finish getting ready,” he gestures vaguely over his shoulder with his thumb. “Enjoy the show.”  _ At this rate the only show they’re going to get is a smoke show because I may spontaneously combust.  _ _  
_ _  
_ Simon is pacing the small room behind the stage used for storage that doubles as a makeshift dressing room. He isn’t even sure why he’s so nervous about this performance. He’s played this venue before. It’s small, intimate really, but he’s always been well received here. He’s played these songs before. And he’s played in front of Jace before. But with Jace in the crowd, this time the words to the closing song mean something different to Simon. It’s a song originally written with Clary in mind. Back then it had been a way to vent his frustrations and air out his feelings of unrequited love. It had been maddening but cathartic. But now, it might seem crazy, but now the lyrics fill Simon’s heart with hope. The longing is still there, the element of unrequited love still rings true, and Simon is sure he’s setting himself up for more misery, but his traitorous heart overflows with hope. A fairytale dream of what could never be between him and his  _ very straight _ friend. His proverbial knight in shining armour.    
  
Shaking, Simon leans back into the wall and lets his head fall back with a ‘thunk’. He blinks as his mind races. Distantly he hears a knock on the door and Maia gives him the 2 minute call. He closes his eyes tight, trying to ground himself, something he’s failing at miserably. Lately it seems like the only thing that can calm him down and put him at ease is Jace. Jace, the exact reason for his current freakout.    
  
Simon opens his eyes and scans the room, desperate for something to ground him. Then his eyes fall upon the white embroidered letters. Pushing himself off the wall on shaky legs, he makes the couple small steps it takes for him to be able to reach out for the jacket. He’s not even sure why he brought it with him in the first place. Gripping the fabric tight, he brings the jacket up to his nose and hesitantly inhales. The scent has almost completely dissipated, but it’s there, faint but unmistakable. A calming wave washes over him as he exhales. Without dwelling on it, he puts the jacket on, grabs his guitar and makes his way to the stage. 

* * *

  
  
Jace can’t help the dumb smile that forms on his face when he sees his friend appear from the backroom. He instantly notices he’s wearing his letterman jacket. Seeing him in it again makes his heart swell. Simon seems less panicked than he was a few minutes ago. He could feel how tense Simon was when he had hugged the guy. It seemed strange. Simon was a lot of things, and typically anxiety ridden was among those things, but Jace has seen Simon play before and that’s where the guy was most comfortable. It was one of the things Jace found most fascinating about Simon. He could be awkward and nerdy and a total klutz off stage, but then completely transform the second he took hold of his guitar. On stage he was in control, cool, charismatic even. But earlier Simon seemed almost terrified, he could see it in his eyes. It didn’t sit well with Jace and honestly he was a little concerned. He wanted to take away any insecurities or worries he might have. Simon was too good. He didn’t deserve to have those feelings.   
  
Jace was so lost in thought he didn’t hear Clary at first.

“Jace? Jace!” She tried to get his attention. It took Alec elbowing him in the ribs before he finally came back to reality.    
  
“Huh?” Jace grunted dumbly. 

“Where did you go just then?” Izzy asked curiously with narrowed eyes. Jace noticed everyone was looking at him expectantly. Apparently he must have checked out for a while.    
  
“Just thinking about midterms,” he lied. Izzy gave him a look that said ‘ _ I’m not buying your bullshit.’  _ But luckily she didn’t press the matter.    
  
“Oh,” Clary said, “he’s about to address the crowd! Yeah Simon!” She exclaimed happily as Simon finally took the stage. The crowd began to clap as they welcomed Simon on stage. Jace was actually pretty impressed with how packed the place was actually. Some people weren't really paying attention but it seemed like most of them were here with the intention to see Simon play.    
  
“Thank you, thank you!” Simon said into the mic as he waved to everyone. “You’re far too kind.” Simon smiled. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here but I already see some familiar faces.” He pointed at someone closer to the entrance of the cafe that Jace couldn’t see and waved. “And I’m seeing some new faces. Thank you for coming. I hope you guys have a fun evening and enjoy the music!”    
  
Jace, Izzy and Clary all whooped loudly for their friend as Alec groaned next to Jace at the spectacle they were making. Magnus just chuckled as he patted Alec’s hand, causing the raven haired boy to blush. “Alright, that’s enough from the peanut gallery.” Simon laughed into the mic as he met their eyes.    
  
“C’mon  _ ‘nerd hot’ _ , serenade us,” Izzy quipped back.    
  
“What do you think I’m trying to do? Shush and let me serenade you dammit!” Simon joked and the crowd chuckled lightly at the banter. “Anyways, without further ado, enjoy!”    
  
Jace had almost forgotten just how much stage presence Simon has. The moment he started strumming the guitar and the first notes danced across his tongue Simon had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. This was his house now. He commanded attention and everyone was hooked. He didn’t need flashing lights or smoke machines or choreography. Simon’s voice, the mastery of his instrument, his lyrics, his  _ passion _ , that was all it took for Jace to be mesmerized.    
  
Simon had played through four songs to a rapturous response from the crowd.    
  
“Thank you! You have been a great crowd to play for. Thank you for coming out tonight and supporting little ol’ me.” Simon said. “This last song was originally written about a close friend of mine,” he said, looking down at Clary who smiled warmly at her best friend. “But recently, it’s taken on a new meaning for me. I’ve made a big realization recently, so I’ve, uh, changed a couple lyrics to reflect that. Anyway, this is the last song. It’s called  _ ‘Honest Man’ _ . I hope you like it.”   
  
The crowd clapped for him again as he appeared to gather his composure. It was the first time since Simon had taken the stage that Jace caught a brief glimpse of any nervousness. Simon moved to sit at the keyboard for the first time that evening. He closed his eyes as he began to play the first few keys. Jace saw him inhale deeply before his lips met the mic.    
  
_ “There's something about you in the moonlight _

_ But your eyes go so well with the day _

_ You won't let go of your layers _

_ But your power can strip me away _

_ It's easier for us to hide _

_ If you come out then so will I _

_ Promise that I'll meet you halfway _

_ Cause I see every part of you _

_ And I can tell you see me too _

_ By the way that you say my name” _

The music and the lyrics are familiar to Jace. He has heard Simon sing this song once before. It had been the first show that Clary had brought him along to when they had first started dating. It was this song that grabbed Jace’s attention originally and actually made him see Simon for the artist he is. He could hear the passion in his voice, the longing in his lyrics. The song was beautiful. Once again Jace got lost in the music and he almost didn’t catch the subtle change in the lyrics. It was Clary’s sharp intake of breath that made him clue in. 

‘ _ It's easier for us to hide _

_ If you come out then so will I _

_ Promise that I'll meet you halfway’ _

Jace isn’t quite sure what these new lyrics mean. It confuses and intrigues him. Simon sings the new lyrics with such conviction that it makes Jace wish he knew what Simon was thinking in that moment.

_  
_ Simon had his eyes closed for the whole song so far, seemingly focused on the words. When his eyes eventually open, they immediately meet Jace’s and lock on. Simon’s eyes are filled with longing. It makes a shiver run down Jace’s back and his heart skips a beat.  _ What the hell?  _

Simon’s eyes seem to plead with Jace as he launches into the chorus.

_ “I am an honest man _

_ Why can't you take my hand _

_ I'm not what you planned _

_ But I'm a safe place to land _

_ I am an honest man” _

Jace is struck with emotion as he watches in awe as his friend pours everything he has into the words.  _ His friend. _ The words don’t seem to sit right with Jace any more. Here Simon is, singing fervently about honesty. And if he’s honest with himself, the word ‘ _ friend’ _ never really did seem to sit right when applied to Simon. He’s always been something else, something  _ more. _ But Jace isn’t sure he’s capable of unpacking what that might mean.

_ “You're so afraid of tomorrow _

_ So you build your walls of today _

_ You won't believe that you're ready _

_ But I'd never lead you astray _

_ It's easier for us to hide _

_ If you come out then so will I _

_ Promise that I'll meet you halfway _

_ Cause I see every part of you _

_ And I can tell you see me too _

_ By the way that you say my name _

_ I am an honest man _

_ Why can't you take my hand _

_ I'm not what you planned _

_ But I'm a safe place to land _

_ I am an honest man _

_ See me as I am _

_ Show me that I can _

_ You make me an honest man” _ _  
_ _  
_ Simon is singing the song directly to Jace now, neither one of them breaking eye contact with the other. The words are swirling in Jace’s head. Circling round like a whirlpool. 

_ ‘You're so afraid of tomorrow _

_ So you build your walls of today _

_ You won't believe that you're ready _

_ But I'd never lead you astray’ _

  
These are the lines that repeat in his head until something clicks. Jace has been afraid. Afraid to let his walls down. Afraid to let himself feel what deep down he knows he feels. He’s been trying to lock any undesirable thoughts away the second they make their presence known. He tried to continue to love Clary. He fought for it, he fought himself because of it. Beat himself up over it until his soul was black and blue. He just couldn’t do it. Clary couldn’t break down his walls completely. But then Simon had come along and had somehow done the unimaginable. He had broken through those walls as if they were made of tissue paper. Simon, with his propensity to talk too much, with his obscure references that somehow Jace just got, with his dorky sense of humour, with his crazy bushy eyebrows, fluffy hair and adorably dopey lopsided grin. With his kind heart and warm eyes that Jace always finds himself getting lost in.    
  
Simon had figured it out before Jace. Simon’s  _ ‘big realization’  _ was Jace’s.    
  
_ Fuck. Fuck! No, this can’t be happening. It’s not true if you don’t say it. Lock it away. _ _  
_ _  
_ But here was Simon. Pleading for honesty. Jace was afraid of his own honesty and Simon seemed to see right through him. He couldn’t do this, not now. Not ever. He can’t be here.   
  
So, as his friends and family called after him, he got up and ran. Full on ran. Leaving a dumbstruck Simon on stage in the middle of his song. Jace never heard the last verse. He didn’t see the look of devastation on Simon’s face. He didn’t look back and see the tears in Simon’s eyes. He just left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well damn, it would seem we just hopped on the angst train. I have to admit, I have no idea how well I can write angst yet. I'm usually more humour and fluff based, that's where I think my strengths lie. But I want to get better, try new things and explore new horizons! So we shall see how this goes haha. 
> 
> As always, thank you, thank you for your continued support on this fic. It's been so great to see such an amazingly positive response to it, and it's been very much appreciated that I've received some really awesome and constructive feedback! I live for that shit, I die for that shit! 
> 
> Please, if you feel so inclined, consider leaving some kudos and/or a comment letting me know what you thought of the chapter. What you liked, what you didn't, what could have been handled better, or even what you'd like to see in future chapters. 
> 
> Y'all are awesome, and thank you for welcoming me into the world of fan fiction with such open and accepting arms! Lot of love from me to you!
> 
> Until next time, Caio!  
> -Jessey


	9. Jace Hates Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary and Magnus try to console a hurt and confused Simon.   
> Jace doesn't deal with feelings well and struggles to accept the realization that he might just have a thing for Simon.   
> A steamy shower makes everything better and worse at the same time.   
> And a protective Izzy shines some light on the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Long time no see! I am sorry for the delay in posting this. 2 weeks is a long time and I am sorry. It's been a lot harder to find time to write lately and I apologize. I am still going to aim to post weekly but I am thinking that going forward it's more realistic that new chapters go up every 2 weeks. It's just easier that way after being recalled to work now that British Columbia has more or less reopened from quarantine. Imma try my darnedest! 
> 
> So, confession time, this chapter went NOTHING like how I originally planned it. And I dunno how I feel about it. But it makes writing future chapters a little easier I think. So we shall see how that goes. Wish me luck lol. 
> 
> Also, a heads up, that some mild smut lies ahead in this chapter. This also wasn't planned for this chapter, but here we are lol. 
> 
> Finally, a quick thank you to all of you who have left wonderful comments and continue to enjoy this fic. I am so grateful and so humbled! So thank you!
> 
> Anyways, without further ado,   
> Enjoy!

Simon watches with tears blooming behind his lashes as Jace disappears through the doors of Java Jones. He stares, fixated on the spot where Jace had last been. Simon must finish the song on autopilot because suddenly applause breaks out around him. Smiling weakly he bows and thanks the crowd before hastily retreating to the makeshift dressing room.   
  
He shuts the door and falls back against it. _Everything is ruined._   
  
Why did he sing _that_ song? What is wrong with him? It hadn’t even been a full day since he realized his attraction to Jace, or even that he might be attracted to guys in general. Yet, here he was basically coming out to everyone via song and especially declaring his feelings for a dude, his friend, _Jace._ That part had felt good, liberating actually. It felt right. Staring into Jace’s eyes as he sang those words felt _right._ It filled his heart with hope as he locked eyes with him, Jace refusing to break their stare. It made his heart race and heat spread throughout his body. For a moment, one precious moment, Simon thought that maybe, just maybe, Jace might feel something too.   
  
But then Simon watched helplessly as Jace’s eyes grew dark before the blonde had abruptly broken off eye contact and ran out the door. Just like that any hope Simon might have had was gone. Jace was gone.   
  
His head falls back and hits the door. In typical Simon Lewis fashion he had gone and fucked up a good thing. There is no doubt in his mind that it was indeed a good thing. He felt a connection with Jace that he had never felt with someone before, not even Clary. Like an indescribable pull, something electric. The way Jace would look at him, touch him, hold his face so tenderly to calm his panic ridden mind. Jace already knew the tells of his anxiety. He already knew what Simon needed in order to ease his worries and calm his thoughts. Jace seemed to know him already; to see right through him. Jace just _got_ him, even his wild references.   
  
He’s not sure how long he has stood there for, but his tunnel vision widens as he is brought back to the small room by a quiet knock on the door.   
  
“Simon?” Clary’s voice is gentle. “Simon can we come in please?”   
  
Simon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before standing up. He wipes away the tears that seem to have been streaming down his face before he opens the door. He’s a little surprised to see Magnus standing beside Clary.   
  
“Oh Simon,” she says before her arms are wrapped firmly around him. Simon stands with his arms at his sides for a moment before finally hugging her back, grasping tightly at the back of her shirt. He buries his face in her hair and squeezes his eyes closed. They snap open a moment later when he feels another set of arms drape around them. Magnus offers him a reassuring smile and honestly Simon was not expecting that either.   
  
They all pull apart after a few more moments and it’s Magnus who speaks first.   
  
“While I'm a little disappointed by the utter lack of broken limbs, I must applaud you on a very impressive performance.” Magnus smiles at him warmly. “I see now what all the fuss was about.” Simon smiles back at him in weak appreciation. 

“I should also salute your courage. It takes a lot of bravery to do what you did, and you did it with undeniable style. Welcome to the rainbow family!” Magnus’ smile grows.   
  
“Uh, thanks?” Simon replies hesitantly. 

Magnus clears his throat as he makes a vague gesture at nothing in particular, “So, Jason hmm?” He asks knowingly. Simon’s face flares red instantly.    
  
“Uh, it’s um...that obvious huh?” Simon squeaks out. 

Clary and Magnus nod in unison. “Oh my dear Seamus, yes. Though, I suspect Alec may have missed the cues. I fear the Lightwood boys are a little… dense when it comes to the obvious.” Magnus says, a sly grin on his face. Beside him Clary nods her agreement.    
  
Simon lets out a pained sigh. “What the hell am I going to do? Jace must hate me! You saw his reaction, he just ran. Booked it! No ‘later nerd’ or anything. He looked pissed.” Simon swallows, remembering the look on Jace’s face when realization had hit the older boy. “He...he looked sick, like, like I made him sick.” Tears are beginning to pool again, threatening to break beyond his waterline.    
  
Jace was disgusted by him, disgusted by his confession. He hadn’t been able to look at Simon a moment longer, and then he had left. Surely Jace wouldn’t ever want to see him again. He won’t be able to continue Jace’s tutoring, or help him get back on the team, or go to another game, or watch another movie with him. He’ll never be able to look into those mismatched eyes again, to feel Jace’s rough but gentle hands caress his face. Shame and panic begin to grow in his stomach, making it harder to breathe and his heart rattles in his ribcage.    
  
“I’m going to have to move to another town. Oh god, I’m going to have to change schools. I’ll probably have to change my name. Simon Lewberger just doesn’t have the same ring to it.” He looks at Magnus with wide, frantic eyes, “I’ll need your help creating an alias. Oh god, oh god, I might have to dye my hair!” His eyes dart around the room as he continues his rant, not stopping to take a breath. “Maybe I’ll become a redhead. Yeah...yeah! Oh god, what if I end up looking like Carrot Top?” He glances apologetically at Clary, “no offence.”    
  
Simon knows he’s ranting again.  _ Simon Lewis ramblings; Trademark. Maybe that will be the title of his autobiography.  _   
  
He can’t help but think that right about now Jace might take his face between his large warm, rough palms to calm him down. Only Jace isn’t here right now and Simon will never get to experience that feeling again. His blood runs cold as he silently mourns the loss.    
  
“Simon stop.” Clary reaches out and places a firm hand on his shoulder. It’s not quite as instantly effective as when Jace does it but it does help to ground him back in reality. He stills at the touch and squeezes his eyes shut tight. Simon cocks his head downward and buries his nose in the letterman jacket. Inhaling deeply, he holds the air in his lungs until it becomes too painful, relishing the scent that has become synonymous with Jace. He forces the air out in a huff and he does feel his anxiety ease off slightly, enough for him to think a little more clearly. 

“Listen, you don’t know that any of that is true. There is probably a simple and innocent explanation why Jace left like he did. Jace...well he’s a bit oblivious, trust me on this. He probably just realized he forgot to pick up hair gel or something.” Clary attempts to lighten the mood. It does work a little and Simon can’t help it as the corners of his lips twitch upwards. Clary notices him relax slightly and she smiles back at him. “No matter what, I am always going to be by your side Si. After all these years, you know I’m always in your corner right?”    
  
Simon knows she is. She always is. He lets out another shaky breath and nods in response as he feels the adrenaline and anxiety begin to wash off of him.    
  
Magnus hums, “I certainly won’t allow you to make such a heinous mistake such as dying your hair. At very least not red. No offence, Biscuit.” Clary shrugs. “Purple!” Magnus declares suddenly. “Yes, purple should suit you nicely. It’s one of the colors of the rainbow after all. Quite fitting if you think about it.”    
  
All Simon can do is narrow his eyes in disbelief.  _ What is going on? _

Clary leans in towards Simon and lowers her voice to a stage whisper, knowing full well that Magnus can hear her, “I think that’s his way of declaring his loyalty to you.” 

Magnus frowns, “On second thought, dye it red. Dye it yellow. Shave it off for all I care.”    
  
Clary and Simon raise their eyebrows in unison and suddenly they are giggling uncontrollably as the last remnants of unease fades. Magnus huffs indignantly before eventually letting a grin cross his face. For a second Simon lets himself smile. 

* * *

Jace throws himself at one of the practise dummies. He’s panting hard and dripping with sweat. His normally tamed hair is wet and messy, falling into his face and sticking to his forehead. He hasn’t pushed himself this hard in months. It’s the only thing he can do to keep his mind from running wild, from hearing Simon’s melodic words play in his head on repeat. Shaking his head he resets, backs up, and hurls himself forward into the dummy, tumbling to the ground hard. Picking himself back up he revels in the pain coursing through his body. Split and bruised skin, weeping blood and covered in soil. He hasn’t bothered putting on pads or gear, he needs the pain. Needs it to distract him from thoughts of a certain brown haired nerd.    
  
He’s been at this for over an hour already and he’s exhausted. Every cell in his body feels as if it’s been doused in jet fuel and set on fire. Continuing to run through his practise routine he focuses on the burning in his lungs, on the tearing of his muscles. It’s almost liberating.  _ Almost.  _

No matter how hard he pushes himself, he can’t keep the words out of his head for long. He winds up for one more charge, and launches. He makes it three steps before his body decides it can no longer endure the punishment and his legs give out under him. Stumbling, he falls to his knees in the dirt, feeling them split as they make contact with the ground below. He winces at the pain and gasps desperately for oxygen.    
  
“What the hell are you doing?”    
  
The scolding voice might have started Jace if he still had enough energy to jump, instead all he can manage is a pained huff, sounding far too similar to a whimper for his liking. Shame washes over him as he drops his head completely, not able to look up at his brother.    
  
It takes a couple moments before he catches enough breath to reply. “What are you doing here Alec?”   
  
Alec drops to the ground beside his brother, crossing his long legs in the grass. Alec looks him up and down giving him a once-over assessing the bruises and cuts all over his pale skin. Frowning, he shoves a bottle of water into Jace’s hand. The blonde grunts his thanks as he takes a deep gulp.    
  
“You ran off last night and no one’s seen or heard from you since. I tried texting and calling when you didn’t turn up at home this morning but you had your phone off. So, I came looking for you,” Alec says seriously, concern evident in his tone.    
  
Jace scoffs, “It’s dead.” 

Alec gives him a questioning look. 

“My phone,” Jace clarifies. “It died. Dunno when. Haven’t had a chance to charge it.”    
  
Alec nods at his brother in understanding. “Jace, what’s going on?” He looks at Jace, raising his eyebrows in question.    
  
Jace just shrugs him off. “Nothing, just training.”    
  
“Sure. Training,” Alec says sarcastically. “Listen, I’m not sure what happened, what upset you, but I know something is wrong. I can feel it. You don’t have to tell me what, but don’t bullshit me either. I’m your brother and I am here to help you, not judge you.”    
  
Alec takes in a sharp breath when he catches a better look at Jace’s face as the blonde finally looks up at him. Blood mixing with sweat and tears smeared across it like a paste.    
  
“Jesus Christ Jace,” Alec whispers in disbelief, reaching to touch his battered skin. Wincing, Jace jerks away causing a pained groan to escape his throat involuntarily.    
  
“What is going on?” Alec asks seriously, though his tone is gentle. “And remember, no bullshit.”    
  
Jace looks at him heatedly for a moment before letting out a sigh. He knows he’s not going to win this one, not with Alec. But he’s not ready to tell Alec what’s bothering him either, probably never will.    


“Don’t worry about it, alright. I’ll be fine,” he says, trying and failing to reassure his brother.    
  
Alec just raises an unimpressed eyebrow, “I said, no bull. Besides, it’s bad enough for you to break into the practise field on a weekend. I don’t exactly call that fine.”    
  
Jace shoots him a look, “You’re here too,” he points out.    
  
“Semantics,” Alec smirks. “Ok, you don’t have to tell me anything, not if you don’t want to. But you are going to get up and take your sorry ass home and take a shower. You look like shit.” Alec’s tone leaves no room for discussion. The taller boy leans in a little bit and inhales before scrunching his face in disgust. “Smell like it too.    
  
“Gee thanks. Has anyone ever told you you’re great at comforting people?” Jace asks sarcastically.    
  
Alec grins, “Yeah actually.”    
  
“They’re a fucking liar,” Jace laughs. Alec chuckles lightly, rolling his eyes fondly before standing and offering a hand to his brother.    
  
Jace looks up at Alec and shakes his head in resignation before taking the proffered hand and allowing himself to be hauled to his feet. Now that he has had a moment to stop and take a few breaths his whole body screams in protest at the motion. He may have gone a bit overboard this time.  _ Necessary evil.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Come on,” Alec begins, hooking his arm around the shorter boy. “Let’s get out of here before the cops come. Or worse, Coach Garroway.” 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jace plugs his phone into the charger on his bedside table. He makes his way over to the bathroom after he sees the dead battery icon light up on the screen. Shutting the door behind him, he pulls off his tank top and drops his boxers to the floor, wincing as he does so. He pads over to the shower and cranks the ‘hot’ tap open, letting the water heat up to just below scalding. Once the room begins to fill with steam he steps in and settles under the spray. All the tension in his tight, abused muscles melts away as soon as the hot water hits his body. He hisses when the spray makes contact with his open wounds. As his body begins to relax he can’t help that his mind drifts to a certain four-eyed boy, as it so often does lately. He’s too exhausted to fight it. He knows he should, it’s a skill he’s been cultivating for weeks now, but he just can’t help it at the moment.    
  
He begins to systematically lather and rinse his hair, his mind elsewhere. The image of Simon’s toothy grin and the sound of his goofy laugh seems to make him relax even further. He pictures Simon and him laying side by side on Simon’s bed, Star Wars playing in the background. Jace smiles to himself as he remembers Simon blathering excitedly about plot points and characters and places whose names Jace still can’t wrap his head around. He thinks back to the fair and his smile grows so large it’s almost painful. Simon had been so happy to be at the fair and he seemed genuinely pleased that he had successfully drug Jace along. The boy was practically vibrating and Jace can’t deny that joy is a good look on Simon.  _ A fucking fantastic look on him. _ Lost in his thoughts, Jace’s brain cycles through nearly every interaction he has had with Simon, right down to seeing him on stage last night.  _ In his letterman jacket.  _ The thought fills him with something he can’t describe. Pride maybe?

Jace barely registers the spray dousing his scalp and the water running down his body as he rinses the conditioner out of his hair.    
  
Grabbing his body wash he flips open the cap and pours some into the palm of his hand. He rubs his hands together to create a foaming lather that he begins to spread across his tender and bruised skin. He starts with his arms as he ways does, gently massaging the foam into his forearms then up to his biceps. He bites back a whine as the foam stings a few of the scraps on his forearms and hands.    
  
The pain doesn’t distract him for very long though, as his mind drifts back into his daydream. Jace’s breathe catches when Simon’s stupid grin morphs into a flithy smirk and the younger boys eyes turn dark. Jace’s hands drag over his pecs now, the lather thick enough to obscure the stark black of his tattoos. His thumb grazes over his nipple causing his eyes to flutter closed as the sensitive pink nub hardens at the touch. He pictures smaller hands on his body now, imagines the feeling of slender fingers caressing his skin.    
  
A low moan leaves Jace’s lips and he tweaks his nipple once more, pinching it between his thumb and index finger. Simon’s hands wander lower, languidly and purposefully trailing down over the peaks and valleys of his sore abs, massaging as they descend, providing Jace with some much needed relief. The feeling of Simon’s hands and the look of pure desire in his eyes makes heat begin to pool in Jace’s gut. He doesn’t have to look down to know that he is rapidly hardening. Simon’s hands continue to travel lower, stopping just below his navel, just grazing the sparse blonde hair that trails the rest of the way down. His hands are so hot it makes Jace’s breath stutter.    
  
Jace lets his head fall forward and rest against the cool glass of the shower wall. The contrasting sensation lights his nerves on fire and suddenly he is hyper aware of what he is doing. He’s picturing his friend,  _ Simon,  _ with a look of lust on his face, dragging his hands down his body. Jace blinks rapidly as the weight of the situation hits him.    
  
_ Fuck! This isn’t right. This is so not right. Simon is your friend; a guy.  _ It wasn’t until very recently that he had ever thought of a guy in this way. Not just any guy,  _ Simon _ . The thought terrifies him and he has refused to accept it, refused to even allow himself to dwell on it long enough to think of what it really means. But Jace is exhausted and he needs relief. 

Finally he looks down at his now hard cock, bobbing just below his hands, begging for friction. Jace shudders and swallows thickly. Closing his eyes tight he whimpers as he finally lets Simon’s hands travel further until they reach their target. Jace lets out a loud gasp as contact is made and he feels fingers wrap around the base of his cock. His whole body shivers at the touch, every nerve coming alive. Simon’s hands begin to stroke his swollen cock, slow but firm. A pearl of precum beads out and Simon’s thumb swipes at it, spreading it over the head, causing it to glisten and become slick.    
  
He pictures Simon’s lust filled eyes and imagines the younger boy's gaze drop down to Jace’s lips. Jace mirrors him, and fuck, Simon’s lips look so soft. Pink and plump, ready for the taking. Simon gives him a look as if asking for permission. Swallowing hard, Jace hesitates for a moment before nodding.

Simon’s heated smirk grows gentle as his face tentatively inches closer to Jace’s.  _ This is it, moment of truth. No backing out.  _ Jace is only slightly shocked to find that in that moment he doesn’t want to back out. The anticipation and desperate need for relief causes Jace to rock his hips forward slightly into his palm. It’s at the exact moment that Simon’s lips finally meet his that the world goes blank. He moans loudly against the brunette's mouth as his orgasm hits him out of nowhere. His whole body short circuits as he unloads, the image of Simon and the feeling of his lips crystal clear for a few more moments before fading away as reality sets back in.   
  
Jace’s eyes shoot open in horror as the world around him comes back into focus around him. He looks down and sees the shower wall coated in an alarming amount of cum. Suddenly he feels ashamed of himself. He just jerked off thinking of Simon  _ fucking _ Lewis! Of Simon’s hands on his body. Simon’s lips against his. A guy who he calls his friend.  _ Some fucking friend I am.  _

Disgusted with himself, he hurriedly finishes washing himself and thoroughly cleans the remnants of his shame off the shower wall. He makes quick work of drying off and putting on his sweatpants. He has never felt more dirty after showering. 

He looks down at his bare chest and sees Simon’s hands gently caressing his stomach, wrapped around him like when they were on the motorcycle. Breathing hard he rushes back to his room and makes his way over to his closet. He grabs the first t-shirt he sees and throws it on, covering his exposed skin. 

Jace paces back and forth trying to wrestle with his thoughts before collapsing on his bed in a huff. He spends god knows how long staring up at his ceiling before he starts to chuckle to himself. It starts off quiet and weak, but soon grows louder before taking hold of his entire body as he convulses with laughter.    
  
_ That nerd. That goddamn klutz and his inexplicable nerd charm.  _ Lost in hysterics he has a moment of clarity. Jace is gone for the guy. He knows that now. He had been fighting it quietly and mostly unconsciously for a while now. Somehow Simon had wormed his way into his thoughts, into his dreams and into his heart. It’s already beyond friendship and  _ what the fuck? When he hell did that happen?  _ Thinking back, he knows it had to have started a long time ago, sometime during their so-called rivalry for Clary’s attention and affection.    
  
It makes sense now, so much sense, and Jace feels like an idiot. At first Jace could barely stand Simon, the guy talked too much, hovered around Clary like a lost puppy, and was always ready with a smart-assed comment. It annoyed the shit out of Jace and pissed him off, but that’s what Simon wanted. But then a shift happened, slow and imperceivable. He started to get used to Simon hanging around, he started to find the blabbering and complete lack of self preservation endearing, he even started to find his sarcastic comments funny.  _ Simon. Funny. Jesus the world has frozen over.  _

Looking back, this shift coincided with the change in his relationship with Clary. The love and passion that was once there, so strong between them, slowly morphed. The love remained but it was different somehow. The passion burned so hot it flamed out and they just couldn’t find a way to reignite it. In hindsight, maybe something in Jace never wanted to. Maybe it already had. Maybe, it sparked back to life, a small flicker so faint it went unnoticed. Not until it was stoked back to life, fanned with the wind of a classroom door being thrust open by a flustered spaz plummeting to the floor. It makes sense to him now. While he was falling out with Clary, he had been falling for Simon.  _ While Simon was falling to the ground of Chemistry class.  _ He chuckles to himself. 

Just then his phone pings with an incoming text. Taking a deep breath he rolls over and grabs for his phone glancing at the screen. _Fuck._   
  
Dozens of missed texts and calls from Izzy and Alec. A couple from Clary. Even a couple from Maryse, his mother. His heart lurches when he notices that none of them are from Simon. _Double fuck._ _  
_ _  
_The latest message is from Izzy.  
  
 **[Iz: 7:56pm]**  
 _Alec told me you’re home. Are you in your room?_ _  
_ _  
_ **[Outgoing: 7:57pm]** **  
** _yeah Iz. sorry. i was out._

Jace hears the ping of Izzy’s phone a split second before his door bursts open. “Oh you’re going to be sorry alright!” Izzy screeches as she marches over to his bed seething with anger. 

He scrambles away when he sees her, standing on the far side of his bed, placing it between them as a buffer. “Iz, I’m sorry ok. Just calm down.”    
  
_ Wrong thing to say.  _ Izzy lets out a scream before throwing herself across the bed. Jace dodges out of the way at the last second and Izzy tumbles to the floor where he was just standing. She looks up at him with murder in her eyes before pulling herself up. “Don’t tell me to calm down,” she growls. “You storm out on Simon’s set. Rude by the way. Then you disappear for a day. You don’t answer texts, you don’t answer calls. Then Alec finds you basically beating the shit out of yourself and now you show up like nothing happened and say you’re sorry?” She asks in disbelief?    
  
Jace shuffles in place, looking at a spot on the ground. “Uh, yeah, basically.”    
  
Izzy narrows her eyes at his response. “Nuh-uh, not good enough. You better have a good explanation for freaking everyone out like that. Not to mention you hurt Simon’s feelings when you just left like that.” Jace looks up abruptly. He hadn’t thought about that. How leaving could have hurt Simon. He’s supposed to be his friend, he was supposed to be there to support Simon. But he just couldn’t be there anymore. Jace had to leave. He couldn’t exist under Simon’s stare, not with Simon’s words swirling in his mind. Not with this long repressed realization hitting him like a linebacker. 

  
“What?” He asks dumbly. 

“Oh yeah, he was basically crying when you stormed out. You know how deeply he cares about his friends, how much he looks up to them! He was confiding in us with that song.” Jace gives her a blank look, not following what she is trying to say. Izzy sighs in mild frustration, “Don’t you get it Jace? Do you know the meaning behind that song?”    
  
For a moment Jace is filled with panic. Of course Izzy would figure it out. Of course she would catch on to it. She’s always known Jace better than he knows himself. And if Simon caught on to his secret, then Izzy surely must have. Jace goes pale and looks away again, embarrassed and desperately trying to avoid this conversation. 

Izzy shakes her head, catching on that Jace must be completely clueless. “Simon came out of the closet. That was his coming out song.”    
  
Jace’s eyes grow wide as saucers as he comprehends her words. “W-what?!” He repeats.    
  
“Simon came out and you ran Jace. I’m guessing now by the look on your face that you had no idea that’s what was happening. But he trusted us with this and you just ran. He was so upset, Jace.” 

  
A look of horror flashes across Jace’s face and Izzy rolls her eyes.  _ Fuck fuck fuck!  _ He screwed up. He misunderstood everything and screwed up way worse than he thought. He has to fix this somehow.    
  
_ Time to man up Herondale and be a real friend. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I dunno what's gonna happen next but I'm excited to find out how Jace intends to "fix" this. 
> 
> I was intending for A LOT more angst this chapter, but that didn't happen. So I'm wondering if I should follow through with the heavier angst next chapter or ease off a bit for now. Trust and believe I have some brief but heavy angst planned further down the line and by god it will happen lol. 
> 
> Also, I hope the smut was ok? I'm still new to writing and even newer to writing anything resembling smut, so fingers crossed it was ok. 
> 
> Anyways, as always, thank you so much for sticking with this fic and for all your amazing comments, feedback and kudos. I am blown away by the positive response and it warms my heart. If you feel so inclined, I would love to hear what you think of the fic so far, so please, consider leaving a comment :) 
> 
> Let me know what you like, what you didn't, or even what you'd like to see in a future chapter. I am super open to any ideas and criticism. 
> 
> Thanks again so much guys! Y'all rock! 
> 
> Until next time, Caio!  
> -Jessey


	10. Simon Loves Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace has a much needed chat with Simon.   
> The time for the midterm is now.   
> And Jace has a plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy Y'all!
> 
> Holy heck! Ok, so we aren't going to talk about how long it's been to get this chapter out. Nope, not going to do it!   
> All joking aside, I am so sorry it took so long, but I am eternally grateful that you guys are so patient with me! It's been much harder than I anticipated to get writing done lately, but I am 100% committed to seeing this through and you best believe I have plans :P 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and hopefully it was worth the wait for you. 
> 
> Without further ado,   
> Enjoy!

_ Canada seems nice. Yeah, Canada’s cool! _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Pros:  _

_ 1)Friendly people; that’s kind of their thing right?  _

_ 2)Free health care; convenient because at this rate I’m on track for a heart attack by the age of 22, stress will see to that.  _

_ 3)Poutine; delicious french-fries smothered in gravy and cheese curds? Sign me up! Although, on second thought maybe pass. That would definitely contribute to number 2. And I don’t want my death certificate to read: “Death by Carbicide”. _

_ 4)Second largest country on Earth; miles and miles away from Jace.  _

_ Cons: _ _   
_ _ 1)Frozen tundra; New York is already borderline too cold to survive. My body isn’t built for that. Come to think of it, my body isn’t built for much really.  _

_ 2)Bears and cougars; not the fun kinds either. No, the kind that want to hunt you down and play with you before they kill you. Hmm, actually that sounds a lot like the fun kind, minus the murder.  _

_ 3)Justin Beiber; on second thought, forget Canada.  _

Simon stares blankly up at the ceiling. It’s been two days since Jace’s freak out where he had walked out of Java Jones, leaving Simon raw and broken. Clary and Magnus, and even Izzy had all tried to comfort him in their own ways. It helped a bit, knowing that they supported him. Actually, it meant more to him than they could ever know. He just couldn’t find the right words to tell them exactly what was going through his mind, why he was hurting. Clary had a pretty good idea though, some sort of best friend sixth sense. And Magnus seemed to have the magic ability to read people. Simon wouldn’t be surprised if he had caught on to it as well. Izzy though, he’s not sure what Izzy thought about the whole situation. She had vowed to make Jace pay for  _ ‘being a complete dickhole’.  _ (Her words.) Simon kind of feared for Jace’s life after that.  _ Hell hath no fury like a short, belligerent beauty in 6 inch heels with a mild case of sadism. _ _   
_   
After Simon had gone home that night he had immediately wanted to reach out to Jace. His finger hovering over Jace’s contact in his phone, twitching to hit ‘ _ dial’.  _ He just wanted to hear his voice, the snarky attitude always put Simon’s mind at ease, calmed his racing thoughts. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, that would only make things worse between them. Simon had basically come out as who-the-hell-really-knows and confessed his feelings for the kind-hearted blonde with the mismatched eyes at the same time.  _ If you’re gonna do it, might as well go big or go home eh?  _

_ ‘Eh’? Hmm, maybe Canada was the right choice after all.  _

But Jace had run off with a look of horror and disgust on his face once the words had registered.    
  
It’s not until a single hot tear streaks across his cheek that Simon recognizes the familiar burn in his eyes, vision blurring as more tears collect in his lashes threatening to follow the path freshly cut.    
  
There’s a knock on his door and he hastily scrubs at his face, trying to hide any evidence of his current mental state before clearing his throat and responding with a pitifully weak  _ ‘come in.’  _ The door opens slowly to reveal Elaine, a questioning look on her face. 

“Hey bug, you’ve got a visitor.”  _ Uh oh, she’s using the ‘mom’ voice.  _   
  
Who was coming over to see him this late in the evening? Clary was the most logical choice but she hadn’t texted him saying she was coming over, had she?    
  
He checks his phone, just in case. Nothing. But really, there’s no one else it could be. No one else would actively want to seek him out. He wasn’t exactly swimming in friends.    
  
“Uh, I’m not really in the mood to see anyone. Can you just tell Clary I’m studying or something?” Simon barely gets the entire sentence out before a head of perfect blonde hair hesitantly pops up behind him mom.  _ Shit, not Clary. Jace.  _ Simon tenses up, heart racing. His mouth goes dry. 

Elaine’s gaze shifts between the two boys cautiously, the air in the room is so heavy it’s almost suffocating. 

“Well,” she drags out, shifting uneasily on her heels, “you boys play nice. Let me know if you want me to bring up any snacks.” She shoots Simon a look, putting extra emphasis on the word  _ ‘nice’, _ before turning to offer Jace a small smile as she exits the room.    
  
For a moment Jace just stands in the doorway awkwardly, Simon can’t bring himself to look up from the spot on the carpet he’s been staring at intently.    
  
“Listen, I’m sorry for leaving-”   
  
“I didn’t mean to upset you-”    
  
They cut each other off before going silent for a moment. The tension is lifted slightly when a few seconds later they both chuckle. And god, that’s music to Simon’s ears! The dopey laugh of Jace’s goes straight to Simon’s chest, making his heart flutter as if his ribcage is being bombarded by lovesick butterflies. It takes him a moment to realize Jace has gone silent. He’s looking at Simon with a cocked smirk, and Simon could almost trick himself into thinking that the look currently on Jace’s face resembles something close to fond.    
  
Jace clears his throat, “Listen, Simon,” he begins as he takes a couple steps into the room, eyes fixed on Simon as if he’s making sure he won’t spook the boy into leaping out the window. “I’m not good with apologies, not really my thing. But I owe you one. I owe you more than that actually, but I’ll start there. Simon, I’m sorry. I...I’m so sorry for running out like that, for abandoning you.”    
  
Simon can feel his fingers begin to tingle and his heart races as he absorbs Jace’s words. His blood is pumping so fast his veins may as well be a track for a Formula One race. Jace must sense the growing panic because he makes the last couple strides until he is standing in front of Simon who is now sitting up on the edge of the bed. Simon watches Jace’s thoat bob up and down before the blonde brings his hands up to Simon’s face. He hesitates for a moment, searching Simon’s eyes before gently cupping Simon’s jaw between his large hands. The touch is alarming, yet familiar now. He tenses momentarily until he feels Jace stroke his thumbs over the slight stubble on his face. Simon huffs out a deep sigh as he melts into the touch, eyes fluttering closed in the process. He hums thankfully for the calming touch.    
  
“I have no excuse for hurting you Simon. Just please, I need you to know that I never intended to hurt your feelings or to put any doubts in your head. Izzy told me what that song meant to you. I,” he hesitates for a moment, seemingly choosing his words carefully, “I think I misunderstood the meaning. I don’t want you to think I don’t support or accept you. I-” Jace stutters for a split second, his voice cracking ever-so-slightly. It causes Simon to open his eyes and search for Jace’s. He looks uncertain, almost lost. It’s the first time Simon’s ever seen Jace Herondale’s confident facade completely broken. ‘I’ve been a shit friend, no point in sugar coating it. You trusted us with something personal and I went and fucked off. I’ve ignored your messages, I’ve ignored everyone really. I’m ashamed Si, and...fuck! I’m sorry!”    
  
Jace growls and pulls away abruptly causing Simon to try and follow, almost falling off the bed in the process.  _ Oh look, I’m becoming a cliche, literally falling for the dude! Why am I like this?  _

Jace has his back turned, but Simon can see his fists balled up tight, body shaking. The tension is pulled so taut it could snap like an overwound guitar string. It might scar like one too, Simon would know.    
  
“Well, well, well.” Simon begins teasingly, trying to lighten the mood, “The mighty Jace Herondale apologising? Somebody call the presses, this is a momentous occasion!”    
  
Jace releases his fists as he whips around and looks at Simon, who’s grinning back at him. Simon wiggles his eyebrows.    
  
“You’re a fucking prick you know that?” Jace says, but there’s no heat in it.    
  
Simon’s smile parts, revealing a toothy grin. “And you Captain America,” Simon stands to meet Jace’s height, placing a hand on his shoulder, “are very good at apologies.”    
  
Simon can feel all tension seem to drain from Jace’s body in that moment.    
  
“You should do it more often,” Simon teases. 

“Fuck off, this is a one time thing,” Jace snorts, his lips twitch up into a hesitant smile. They share a small laugh as the awkwardness that had filled the room moments ago dissipates and the air becomes less stifling. Jace clears his throat again, “So, uh, we cool?”    
  
“So articulate. ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’.” The joke results in Jace flipping him off.    


Truth is, Simon had already forgiven Jace the moment he saw the sincerity in the other boy’s eyes. Hell, he hadn’t really been upset with Jace at all, he had been far too busy with his self loathing, insecurity and anxiety to be truly upset at Jace for anything. The apology was from the heart, that much Simon knew for certain, he could feel it, he could see it written all over the older boy's face. Jace hadn’t really explained  _ why _ he ran out that night, but Simon didn’t want to press him on it either, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the reason. He wasn’t prepared for what might be said. 

“Yeah, ‘we cool’.” Simon offers him a small teasing smile. “I mean, hell must have frozen over for you to apologize so we have to be cool.” 

“You are the worst kind of person. I ride all the way over here, pour my heart out and all you do is mock me.” Jace pulls a pained face.    
  
“Ok, ok, I’ll stop. For now.” As a show of good faith, Simon punches him in the shoulder ‘bro style’. But Simon’s not a ‘bro’, has never been a ‘bro’, so it just plays out so awkwardly he himself cringes as his fist connects with Jace’s shoulder.  _ Do not think about how firm his muscles are, do not! Oh hell, now I’m thinking about it! Ugh. They are impressive though. Probably from throwing a football around all the time. I bet he’s real good with balls. Oh for the love of-  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Where did you go?” Jace is looking at him with slight concern on his face. 

“Huh, what?” Simon can feel his face heat up from being torn out of his previous thoughts. 

“Just now. Your eyes glazed over and you had that dumb smile on your face.”    
  


_ Think fast Lewis.  _ “Uh, oh, um, yeah…”  _ Yep, that clears things up.  _ “I-I-I was thinking about the midterm. Mhmm! We’ve gotta get you ready for that test and we’ve only got,” Simon looks down at his watch.  _ It’s analog you dumb shit! It doesn’t tell you the day of the week! “two days left to study. So, we better cram...broski.”  _   
  
_ Broski? Holy shit, abandon ship now. Screw the cold, we leave for Canada ASAP.  _

Jace barks out a laugh. “Broski?”    
  
“Y-yeah! Y’know? Broski!” Simon pauses as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. When Jace shoots up an eyebrow in response Simon plows ahead, “Broham, Broseph, Brosephina, Brochacho, Bromigo, Brobi-wan Kenobi, Brosef Stalin, Marco Brolo, Angelina Brolie, Nabroleon Broneparte, Pablo Picassbro, Brodo Baggins, C-3PBro, Yoko Brono, please for the love of god stop me!”    
  
‘ _ O Canada. Our home and native land…’ _

Simon’s internal meltdown is interrupted by Jace’s loud goofy laugh. He’s wheezing, tears welling behind his lashes, face screwed into an open mouthed smile so large it looks like it might even be painful. It’s the least attractive Jace has ever looked, and Simon has never been more attracted to him than in this moment. The sight takes his breath away. Jace is simply gorgeous like this. Happy. Smiling. Laughing. An overwhelming sense of pride washes over Simon, warming him from the inside out. Making Jace laugh is the single greatest accomplishment Simon has ever experienced and it’s addicting. 

“You-you are a dork,” Jace manages between fits of laughter, “a dork and I love it.” Those words go straight to Simon’s heart and it feels like he’s been hit with a defibrillator. 

_ Screw Canada! Right here’s where I wanna be.  _

* * *

Simon is a strange guy, no surprises there. But ever since the apology he had been acting increasingly weird. They had gotten together a few times to cram some study dates in over the last couple days and although the tension between them seemed to have eased up a bit, there was still something there, something off, something that remained unspoken. 

Simon wouldn’t sit on the bed with him anymore while they studied, choosing instead to pull up his desk chair. He wasn’t able to look Jace in the eye for more than a few seconds, yet Jace would catch him staring when he didn’t think he would get caught. The guy would trip and stumble over his words every second sentence which, ok, that’s typical Simon, but it seemed more frequent now. Jace wasn’t sure if it was remaining tension from that night at Java Jones, or if it was something else entirely, but he didn’t like it. He missed the easy comfort they had before. He missed the snarky banter they shared. He missed the physical closeness. He missed his Simon. 

_ His Simon.  _ What the hell was he thinking? Simon wasn’t  _ his _ to claim. Simon was his friend. And they were still on some sort of rocky cliff, perched precariously, waiting for a stiff breeze to send them tumbling.    
  
Shaking off his thoughts, he turned his attention back to Simon sitting across from him at the cafeteria table. Simon was cycling through flashcards, written in haste. His tongue was poking out in absent concentration as he rattled through chemistry questions. The look was possibly the most adorable thing Jace had ever seen. He felt completely overwhelmed by the urge to just reach out and poke at it.  _ Or kiss it. _ That thought had terrified and confused the hell out of him. Dudes weren’t  _ adorable. _ If there was one thing Jace had learned from his years spent in locker rooms with his teammates, it’s that dudes are fucking disgusting. Yet, here he was, utterly enchanted by Simon Lewis’ dumb face. Dumb  _ adorable _ face.  _ A face that you want to suck,  _ his brain supplied.  _ Yeah, thanks for that. Helpful.  _   
  
The bell rang, signaling the end of the second break of the day. Their last period was the chemistry midterm. Few things made Jace nervous. This was one of them. That and Simon, who conveniently would be taking the same test as him.  _ Cruel and unusual.  _

The loud noise of the bell had started Simon, causing him to jump and drop all of the flashcards. Muttering to himself he piled them up hastily. Even Simon seemed nervous.  _ Shit, that’s not a good sign.  _

“You ok Si?”    
  
“Yeah,” Simon squeaked out, “never better. How are  _ you _ feeling about this?”    
  
“Nervous,” Jace admitted. “But I’m feeling better about it thanks to your help.”    
  
Simon’s face flushed pink as he stuffed the cards haphazardly into his bag.  _ Correction, that is the most adorable thing ever. Shit. _ Simon pulled his eyes up to meet Jace’s. “Uh, you’re going to do great. You’ve come a long way in a short time and you didn’t miss a single question just now. I’m…” his voice cracked, “I’m proud of you...broski.”    
  
Jace couldn’t help but smile warmly as he chuckled. “Well, I am a certified genius.”    
  
Simon scoffed. “Uh-huh. C’mon Einstein. We’ve got midterm ass to kick!” 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Surprise, surprise, Simon is freaking the hell out. He’s bouncing his knee up and down anxiously as Mr. Rey passes out mid term results. He can’t help it as he looks towards Jace’s seat. Jace has put up a good front in an attempt to hide any emotion or nerves from prying eyes but Simon knows better. Jace is just a little too pale and his breathing a little too laboured.    
  
Simon is so lost in concern for Jace that he barely registers Mr. Rey places his results down in front of him with a pat on the shoulder. 98% _.  _ Par for the course really. Mr. Rey is a notoriously hard teacher and an even harder grader. Simon has yet to receive a 100% from him, so he’s come to accept that 98% is the next best thing.    
  
He looks back up just in time to watch as Mr. Rey places Jace’s results in front of him. All color drains from Jace’s face and Simon can see the muscles in his jaw bulge as he clamps down on his molars.  _ No, no no no. Shit no, this isn’t good. Not good at all.  _

Jace’s head whips up and his nostrils flare as he locks eyes with Simon. That intensely hard stare has no right to be as hot as it is. Simon swallows hard. Jace’s eyes fall downcast. Frowning, he shakes his head.  _ Fuck.  _ Simon’s heart races and his head fills with emotion. He failed. Simon failed him. He swore to help Jace, to do everything in his power to make sure he passed the midterms, to get him back on the team. But Simon failed. 

Before panic has a chance to fully set in, Jace looks back up at him. He must see the wild look in Simon’s eyes because the famous Jace Herondale smirk spreads across his face as he holds up his results for Simon to see. 

92%. 

_ That fucking prick! He’s dead to me. Dead as a doornail.  _

Normally Simon would be pissed off, maybe give him the cold shoulder in petty retaliation. But Jace’s smile is so bright and so grateful. So proud. Simon’s heart misses a beat and he’s flooded with relief and affection for the boy. Grinning back like an absolute idiot, he flips Jace the bird, rolling his eyes in the process. Simon’s heart stops beating all together when Jace sticks his tongue out and winks.  _ He fucking winked! Ok, yep, dead as a doornail. Except I’m the doornail.  _

The bell finally rings and Jace is up and on his way out the door before Simon can pick his jaw up off the floor. Scrambling his things together he throws his bag over his shoulder and darts out in pursuit. Out in the corridor Jace is nowhere to be found as Simon spins in place frantically searching for a head of platinum hair. And because he’s Simon, he spins one too many times and suddenly the world is spinning with him and the ground rushes to greet him. 

He lays there in the middle of the corridor for a moment, eyes clamped shut in an effort to slow the spinning. Simon can vaguely hear chuckling in the distance. It’s not until he senses the light go dark above him that he tries to open his eyes again. Hesitantly he pries one eye open, then the other, blinking rapidly as his eyes try to focus. The world becomes crystal clear when glasses are shoved back on his face. He hadn’t realized they must have broken free from his face sometime on his way to the floor.    
  
“Hey,” Jace says, hovering over him with another cocky smirk on his face.

“Hey,” Simon responds breathlessly. 

Before Simon can fight him off, Jace is hoisting him back up to his feet. Being the same height it should be a struggle as Simon offers no help of his own to stand, but Jace makes it seem so effortless and not for the first time Simon finds himself lost in admiration for the sheer strength the football player possesses. Back at eye level with Jace, Simon stares dumbly at the grin staring back at him.  _ Hot, so hot!  _

“Hey,” he repeats again. 

Jace’s grin only grows at that. “Hey,” he teases back. 

Simon feels his face flush red hot as the embarrassment over what just happened, and having Jace literally picking him up off the floor hits him. 

_ O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. _

“So, uh, congratulations,” Simon croaks out. “92%! That’s awesome.”    
  
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Jace says. His face softens into a warm smile as he bumps shoulders with Simon in thanks. 

Simon shakes his head rapidly, “Nu-uh, you had it in you. You just needed some help finding it.”    
  
“Hmm, I don’t know about all that. But thanks Si.” Jace reaches out and places his hand on Simon’s forearm. Simon will never cease to be surprised by just how gentle Jace is capable of being. The thought warms Simon from the inside out. The heat from Jace’s hand on his skin is almost scalding. It mixes with the warmth of his thoughts and creates a searing loop and before long it becomes too much for Simon.   
  
He wants to feel more, he wants Jace’s heat all over his body. Igniting him like gasoline. Spreading over his every nerve. He wants to feel Jace’s skin against his own, their heat mixing together, becoming one. Simon can feel his jeans begin to fill out, becoming increasingly tight.  _ Holy mother of God! _

And just like that the anxiety is back and Simon forgets how to be a normal human all over again. He turns away from Jace abruptly and tries to adjust himself in his jeans as subtly as

is possible in his current state.  _ Oh God, Oh God, think Lewis, think. Distract him!  _

“Celebration!” Simon blurts loudly to no one in particular.    
  
“Huh?” Jace asks. 

Simon spins around, much slower this time to avoid any more dizzy spells.    
  
“Uh, yeah. A celebration. Y’know, to celebrate passing the midterm. We should...celebrate.”   
  
Jace narrows his eyes at him for a moment before his lips curl up into a small smile. “What did you have in mind?” 

“W-well,” Simon stutters out, trying and failing to formulate a plan. “It’s more of a celebration for you. Coach Garroway would be an idiot not to place you back on the team now. So, uh, you choose?”    
  
_ Yes, good thinking Lewis, pass the buck.  _

Jace considers this for a second before Simon sees a thought pop into Jace’s head and the smile from before turns wicked. 

“I think I have an idea.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, so what does Jace have up his sleeve now? That kind of plans has he concocted?   
> I mean, I might have an idea :P 
> 
> Speaking of ideas, please, let me know yours in the comments! If there is anything you'd like to see in future chapters I would love to hear it and maybe I can add it in :) 
> 
> As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your amazing comments, feedback, critiques and kudos. It makes me so happy to hear from you guys. So please, let me know what you think of this chapter. What did you like? What did you maybe not like as much? 
> 
> There are a couple things I didn't like in hindsight, but I've gone over this chapter so much in the last couple weeks that it was just time to let it out and be free to live it's life lol. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks again everyone! Y'all are awesome!
> 
> Until next time, Caio!   
> -Jessey


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